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Thread: Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

  1. #11951
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    *sniffs* What's that smell? Cabbage? *sniffs again*

    Oh s***, it's me!
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  2. #11952
    making an impression.. swachski's Avatar
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    Hey, it's the new boy!

    *slaps Cass*
    .
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    .



    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    You're a ray of sunshine in a dark and dreary world, swach.
    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Swach is Swach, she's not replaceable and she's nobody's replacement.



    Into every life crap will fall. — Anne Lamott

    Never lose an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. — Isabel Allende

  3. #11953
    I'm on the phone. kayleamay's Avatar
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    CELLA!




    Hey, to the rest of you too, I guess.
    "I never said, 'I could write.' I said, 'I could, right?'."

    Hushpuppy: "When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece of a big, big universe and that makes things right. When I die, the scientists of the future, they're gonna find it all. They're gonna know, once there was a Hushpuppy and she lived with her daddy in the bathtub." ~ Beasts of the Southern Wild

  4. #11954
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    Talking

    I don't mind being an afterthought.
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  5. #11955
    where the fuck did Monday go? CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by swachski View Post
    Hey, it's the new boy!

    *slaps Cass*
    HEY! Whatchoo slappin' me for? I dint do nuthin', I tell ya.


    Edited to add:

    Waaaaaiiiiit a second. KenthePen has been on AW longer than I have. OK, got me there. But what about here in the Cabaret, huh? Huh? When was the first time he stuck his head in here?


    Edited again to add::

    AND he smells like cabbage.


    Edited a third time to add:

    And for all you know, he's a girl. An uuuuuuuugggly girl.
    .
    Adrift on a Wine-Dark Sea
    (Part V added on 1/28/16)

    (a quite possibly ill-fated attempt at a narrative poem-in-progress loosely inspired by the Odyssey)

    My AW poetry collection (password: citrus)

    Have you listened to Bowie's Blackstar album yet? Come obsess with me
    .

  6. #11956
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    I would certainly be an ugly girl. Six foot two inches, two hundred pounds of romping stomping dynamite.
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  7. #11957
    making an impression.. swachski's Avatar
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    But he's funny, so he's disqualified.
    .
    .
    .



    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    You're a ray of sunshine in a dark and dreary world, swach.
    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Swach is Swach, she's not replaceable and she's nobody's replacement.



    Into every life crap will fall. — Anne Lamott

    Never lose an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. — Isabel Allende

  8. #11958
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    Yes, yes, funny-looking too.
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  9. #11959
    making an impression.. swachski's Avatar
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    Well then...you may have found your girl, Cass.
    .
    .
    .



    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    You're a ray of sunshine in a dark and dreary world, swach.
    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Swach is Swach, she's not replaceable and she's nobody's replacement.



    Into every life crap will fall. — Anne Lamott

    Never lose an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. — Isabel Allende

  10. #11960
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    Maybe you should reconsider. Is being the new rasta-footed girl so bad?
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  11. #11961
    where the fuck did Monday go? CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by swachski View Post
    But he's funny, so he's disqualified.
    Oh, those weren't the qualifications for being new. Those were the qualifications for some chick I'd bring here, to strategically stop being the New Girl and yet not forsake more New Girl attention than strictly necessary.

    KtP is already here, and not a damn thing I can do about it. So I may as well make the most of him.


    *walks around KtP, mulling over the possibilities*


    ...but apparently, he's not a girl. The best I can do is demand you all start calling him "New Boy."



    Edited to add:

    goddamit, I INSIST!
    .
    Adrift on a Wine-Dark Sea
    (Part V added on 1/28/16)

    (a quite possibly ill-fated attempt at a narrative poem-in-progress loosely inspired by the Odyssey)

    My AW poetry collection (password: citrus)

    Have you listened to Bowie's Blackstar album yet? Come obsess with me
    .

  12. #11962
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    I also answer to "You, boy" and "Pool boy," but not "cabin boy."
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  13. #11963
    making an impression.. swachski's Avatar
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    oh, Cabana boy... over here. My suntan lotion needs to be reapplied.
    .
    .
    .



    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    You're a ray of sunshine in a dark and dreary world, swach.
    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Swach is Swach, she's not replaceable and she's nobody's replacement.



    Into every life crap will fall. — Anne Lamott

    Never lose an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. — Isabel Allende

  14. #11964
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    *Sprays SPF300 on swach*

    Anything else, Ma'am?
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  15. #11965
    making an impression.. swachski's Avatar
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    A Mai tai.

    Oh, and clean up these crumbs on the table.
    .
    .
    .



    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    You're a ray of sunshine in a dark and dreary world, swach.
    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Swach is Swach, she's not replaceable and she's nobody's replacement.



    Into every life crap will fall. — Anne Lamott

    Never lose an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. — Isabel Allende

  16. #11966
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    *hands swach a tie and a bucket of question marks* Sorry, ma'am, the management insists.

    Sorry, just realized I don't know how to tie a mai tie?
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  17. #11967
    making an impression.. swachski's Avatar
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    *ties one on*

    There.
    .
    .
    .



    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    You're a ray of sunshine in a dark and dreary world, swach.
    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Swach is Swach, she's not replaceable and she's nobody's replacement.



    Into every life crap will fall. — Anne Lamott

    Never lose an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. — Isabel Allende

  18. #11968
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    Excellent, ma'am. And, uh, just brush those crumbs into your lap.
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  19. #11969
    Just a regular Fairy Princess bettielee's Avatar
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    *haides all the tequilas*


    I have a new blog! Reading, Writing, Rithmancy
    Latest post: Literary Lettuce

    Current project: editing a Gothic Romance that is of vampiric proportion

    Twitter

  20. #11970
    making an impression.. swachski's Avatar
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    bettie, you're no fun.

    *brushes crumbs on lap*
    .
    .
    .



    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    You're a ray of sunshine in a dark and dreary world, swach.
    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Swach is Swach, she's not replaceable and she's nobody's replacement.



    Into every life crap will fall. — Anne Lamott

    Never lose an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. — Isabel Allende

  21. #11971
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    We're out of Tequila, ma'am. Would you like some scotch, or bourbon, or vodka, or gin?
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  22. #11972
    Riff-Raff Silent Rob's Avatar
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    *holds out bucket*

    Yes.

    And stop calling me ma'am.

  23. #11973
    Riff-Raff Silent Rob's Avatar
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    *notices that the new girl doesn't get a blanket*

  24. #11974
    Plotting 'n planning. GailD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaycinth View Post

    *Drinks. Wine. Does sewing job on poodle.*




    It's male, now.

    Um... Jay... that poodle now has a bulge in its chest, like it has a uni-rack, or something. Is it meant to be a trannie-pooch?
    New blog - Cloth dolls and character development. Updated March 29, 2015

    Quote Originally Posted by William Haskins View Post
    i've adored you from a distance for years, gail.
    Struik Lifestyle (an imprint of Penguin Random House SA) Available in June 2015 www.bullyproofbook.co.za

  25. #11975
    Kreon Prowl AW Moderator regdog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KellyAssauer View Post
    *sneaks in through service door, sweeps, mops, replaces towels, tosses a blanket over New Boy... then picks up all of yesterday's discarded insults and places them back in ye olde recycle bin...*
    **Looks around at the clean bar**

    Where the hell am I and how did I get here?










    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    New pic.



    Note the mark of the devil on her forehead and the mismatched raccoon tail. Obviously Satan's spawn.

    It looks like we've decided on Matilda, AKA 'Tilly.

    *walks off humming Waltzing Matilda*

    Cute name. Devil's spawn? Well, sure, she's yours
    My Blog-Updated on 10/9/14 An Open Letter To Hasbro

    Help find Tracey Cooeedownunder's sister is missing

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