Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

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Angie

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Um, Ang? Most of us learned to play the recorder in, oh....first grade. Just sayin'. *would insert avatar with one eyebrow raised in silent judgement if boozahol hadn't kicked in*

Yanno, I never did. I started on clarinet in around fourth grade, but never picked up a recorder as a kid. *shrug*

Anyway, I'm sore brilliant at it now. So there.

PorterStarrByrd said:
Deep Throat

get under the table ... tee hee

For cryin' out loud, Porter, take your meds. You sound just like QW this morning. :Wha:
 

Haggis

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Only ten? She must be smaller than the picture reveals then. Or else you are monster chihuey...
Both. She's only about 20 pounds, I'd guess. Maybe a tad more. I weigh in at a hefty 10. No teacup for me, baby.

Speaking of which, I neeed my Chihuey back.

BRB.
 

GailD

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Hey, rastapup. Dot kif, mon.


Congrats on the Australian Blue. They're very popular down here and we're quite familiar with the breed. As you know, the blues are very intelligent working dogs, so I assume you're going to put her through a good training course. (They can get quite neurotic if they're not working - kinda like writers. :))

I trained border collies for a number of years and one of the things I learned is that dogs respond better to a name which begins with a strong, explosive consonant like B, P, D G. (I just know the cabbies are going make hay with this but it really does work.)

So maybe Bubba isn't so far out after all. Buddy would work, as would Purdy or Dingo. Maybe consider not naming her for a week or two and let her personality come through. A friend of mine named her Border 'Impi' (pronounced Impy) because of the dog's playful nature - but 'Impi' is also the Zulu word for warrior, which fitted the dog extremely well.

Either way, I wish you a long, happy life together. :)
 

Haggis

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Thanks, Gail. Yeah, I expect we have our work cut out for us.

By the way, how exactly does one pronounce Bpdg?
 

CassandraW

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When i was 15, my family got a dog. I named her Beelzebub, and we always called her Bubba. So I'm partial to the name.

She was a small black beagle-terrier mix with a howl and a bark that sounded like they belonged to a much larger dog. Also, she grunted and snored. I loved that dog.

Nice hair, Haggis. Matches my toes.
 

Silent Rob

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When i was 15, my family got a dog. I named her Beelzebub, and we always called her Bubba. So I'm partial to the name.

She was a small black beagle-terrier mix with a howl and a bark that sounded like they belonged to a much larger dog. Also, she grunted and snored. I loved that dog.

Nice hair, Haggis. Matches my toes.

This is great, Cass. I think the opener really grabs the reader'ses's attention.

Couple of points: You really need a founce in there somewhere and I couldn't help noticing that you never once called haggis a looser.

Overall, really great!

*checks positive, negative, positive sammitch*

*adjusts seasonings*
 

Angie

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This is great, Cass. I think the opener really grabs the reader'ses's attention.

Couple of points: You really need a founce in there somewhere and I couldn't help noticing that you never once called haggis a looser.

Overall, really great!

*checks positive, negative, positive sammitch*

*adjusts seasonings*

You spelled loo's'er wrong, Muppet. Critique fail. Go back to class.
 

CassandraW

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Thanks for commenting, SR!

I thought about founcing, but I worried about it coming out of left field. Ditto with calling Haggis a looser. I mean, there I am reminiscing about my puppy, and suddenly I'm all hostile on Haggis. But I got a brainstorm about how to work it in. What do you think?

When i was 15Sometime after my family placed fifteen flickering candles on a german chocolate cake for me, my family got a dog. I named her Beelzebub, and we always called her Bubba. So I'mcolor me partial to the name.

She was a A small black beagle-terrier mix with a, her howl and a bark that sounded like they belonged to a much larger dog. Also, she grunted and snored. I loved that dog.

Nice hair, Haggis. Matches my toes.So Haggis, what the hell do you mean, you don't like the name? Loo's'er!

*founces*

*steps back to ponder edits*

hmm, I haven't quite done backwards somersaults to avoid the verb "to be." Why didn't you point it out, Rob? Anyway. I'll fix that, too.
 

PorterStarrByrd

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A friend of mine named her Border 'Impi' (pronounced Impy) because of the dog's playful nature - but 'Impi' is also the Zulu word for warrior, which fitted the dog extremely well.

Either way, I wish you a long, happy life together. :)
What is Zulu for Haggis, or even 'old hag'?
 

CassandraW

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No, wait -- I think it's a poem!

Fifteen flickering candles
german chocolate cake devoured
a hungry
family choir
missing
a note --

one
black beagle terrier
handbag-sized
barking
grunting
snoring
a Baskerville demon hound
howling for home

my heart
A gift
engorged with love
wrapped in
palpitating fur
 
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Silent Rob

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You spelled loo's'er wrong, Muppet. Critique fail. Go back to class.

*founces*

hmm, I haven't quite done backwards somersaults to avoid the verb "to be." Why didn't you point it out, Rob? Anyway. I'll fix that, too.

You're going to...fix me??

No, wait -- I think it's a poem!

Fifteen flickering candles
german chocolate cake devoured
a hungry
family choir
missing
a note --

one
black beagle terrier
handbag-sized
barking
grunting
snoring
a Baskerville demon hound
howling for home

my heart
A gift
engorged with love
wrapped in
palpitating fur

engorged...






tee hee.
 

CassandraW

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engorged...






tee hee.

Your critique of my poem isn't helpful at ALL! I put four solid minutes into my beautiful poem and all you can do is make a dirty joke.

*founces*

tee hee...palpitating



*unfounces*

Wait! Wait! I had a burst of poetic editing inspiration

Fifteen flickering candles flicker
german chocolate cake devoured
leaving
a howling void
a hungry
family choir
missing
a note --

one
black beagle terrier
handbag-sized
barking
grunting
snoring
a Baskerville demon hound
howling whimpering for home

my heart
A gift
engorged with love
wrapped in
palpitating fur
 
Last edited:

Silent Rob

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Your critique of my poem isn't helpful at ALL! I put four solid minutes into my beautiful poem and all you can do is make a dirty joke.

*founces*

tee hee...palpitating

Angie says my crits just confuse PD.

solid...tee hee!


ETA: Fark! Now you've moved the cricket stumps!
 

PorterStarrByrd

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No, wait -- I think it's a poem!

Fifteen flickering candles
german chocolate cake devoured
a hungry
family choir
missing
a note --

one
black beagle terrier
handbag-sized
barking
grunting
snoring
a Baskerville demon hound
howling for home

my heart
A gift
engorged with love
wrapped in
palpitating fur

Another disgusting example of what Maya Angelou has done to poetry ... no ryme .. no meter .. no surprise ending, no double entendre, an adjective, no ear chocolate ...
 

CassandraW

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Angie said:
*titters*


solid...tee hee!

Oooooooh, you guys make me soooo mad...

But you're not going to discourage me from pursuing my muse:

CassandraW said:
Fifteen candles flicker
german chocolate cake devoured
leaving
a howling void
a hungry
family choir
missing
a note --

one
black beagle terrier,
handbag-sizedfragile frame
no larger than
the pulsing organ
beating against
my newly budding breasts


barking
grunting
snoring
a Baskerville demon hound
whimpering for home

my heart
A gift
engorged with love
wrapped in
palpitating fur

Make fun of that, huh?
 

CassandraW

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Maya Angelo has nothing to do with free verse,
it's been around for over 400 years.

Get fraking used to it.

This poem has meter, as all free verse does.
It's antiquated old fart verse that has rhyme
(spelled correctly btw...)

Now stop pissing me off on my birthday.

*that was the surprise ending part* ;)


Your work shows promise, Kelly. It has a lot of emotion, and I like the way you work in the fart and the surprise ending. But you really need a founce, and you've spelled "farking" wrong.


Happy birthday anyway. Don't tell anyone I said so, OK? 'Cause I got a reputation to uphold, and someone might think I was nice or something.
 
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