Read books by AWers!

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write

Thread: Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

  1. #11876
    I AM smiling. Angie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Take the damned picture already.
    Posts
    12,065
    Quote Originally Posted by kayleamay View Post
    Um, Ang? Most of us learned to play the recorder in, oh....first grade. Just sayin'. *would insert avatar with one eyebrow raised in silent judgement if boozahol hadn't kicked in*
    Yanno, I never did. I started on clarinet in around fourth grade, but never picked up a recorder as a kid. *shrug*

    Anyway, I'm sore brilliant at it now. So there.

    Quote Originally Posted by PorterStarrByrd
    Deep Throat
    Quote Originally Posted by PorterStarrByrd View Post
    get under the table ... tee hee
    For cryin' out loud, Porter, take your meds. You sound just like QW this morning.


  2. #11877
    Would somebody please bell the cat? SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    North of the dasies for now.
    Posts
    54,252
    Quote Originally Posted by Gilroy Cullen View Post
    Only ten? She must be smaller than the picture reveals then. Or else you are monster chihuey...
    Both. She's only about 20 pounds, I'd guess. Maybe a tad more. I weigh in at a hefty 10. No teacup for me, baby.

    Speaking of which, I neeed my Chihuey back.

    BRB.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacAllister View Post
    Rob, you are officially Haggis' slave now.
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  3. #11878
    earthing.. swachski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    2nd story..
    Posts
    29,583
    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    I weigh in at a hefty 10. No teacup for me, baby.
    .
    Big mug is more like it.


    oooh, rastadawg...
    .
    .
    .



    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    You're a ray of sunshine in a dark and dreary world, swach.
    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Swach is Swach, she's not replaceable and she's nobody's replacement.



    Into every life crap will fall. — Anne Lamott

    Never lose an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. — Isabel Allende

  4. #11879
    Would somebody please bell the cat? SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    North of the dasies for now.
    Posts
    54,252
    Quote Originally Posted by swachski View Post
    Big mug is more like it.


    oooh, rastadawg...
    Yeah, mon.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacAllister View Post
    Rob, you are officially Haggis' slave now.
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  5. #11880
    Minding your P's and Q's. GailD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Johannesburg, South Africa
    Posts
    9,503
    Hey, rastapup. Dot kif, mon.


    Congrats on the Australian Blue. They're very popular down here and we're quite familiar with the breed. As you know, the blues are very intelligent working dogs, so I assume you're going to put her through a good training course. (They can get quite neurotic if they're not working - kinda like writers. )

    I trained border collies for a number of years and one of the things I learned is that dogs respond better to a name which begins with a strong, explosive consonant like B, P, D G. (I just know the cabbies are going make hay with this but it really does work.)

    So maybe Bubba isn't so far out after all. Buddy would work, as would Purdy or Dingo. Maybe consider not naming her for a week or two and let her personality come through. A friend of mine named her Border 'Impi' (pronounced Impy) because of the dog's playful nature - but 'Impi' is also the Zulu word for warrior, which fitted the dog extremely well.

    Either way, I wish you a long, happy life together.
    Quote Originally Posted by William Haskins View Post
    i've adored you from a distance for years, gail.
    Struik Lifestyle (an imprint of Penguin Random House SA) Available in June 2015 www.bullyproofbook.co.za

  6. #11881
    Would somebody please bell the cat? SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    North of the dasies for now.
    Posts
    54,252
    Thanks, Gail. Yeah, I expect we have our work cut out for us.

    By the way, how exactly does one pronounce Bpdg?
    Quote Originally Posted by MacAllister View Post
    Rob, you are officially Haggis' slave now.
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  7. #11882
    I AM smiling. Angie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Take the damned picture already.
    Posts
    12,065
    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    By the way, how exactly does one pronounce Bpdg?
    "Here, Dog!"



  8. #11883
    Would somebody please bell the cat? SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    North of the dasies for now.
    Posts
    54,252
    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    "Here, Dog!"

    Either that, or "Youwannatreat?"
    Quote Originally Posted by MacAllister View Post
    Rob, you are officially Haggis' slave now.
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  9. #11884
    I'm on the phone. kayleamay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Vantucky, WA
    Posts
    15,145
    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    "Youwannatreat?"
    That's my dog's name.
    "I never said, 'I could write.' I said, 'I could, right?'."

    Hushpuppy: "When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece of a big, big universe and that makes things right. When I die, the scientists of the future, they're gonna find it all. They're gonna know, once there was a Hushpuppy and she lived with her daddy in the bathtub." ~ Beasts of the Southern Wild

  10. #11885
    AW Poet Laureate CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    21,089
    When i was 15, my family got a dog. I named her Beelzebub, and we always called her Bubba. So I'm partial to the name.

    She was a small black beagle-terrier mix with a howl and a bark that sounded like they belonged to a much larger dog. Also, she grunted and snored. I loved that dog.

    Nice hair, Haggis. Matches my toes.
    .
    Adrift on a Wine-Dark Sea (a narrative poem-in-progress, very loosely inspired by the Odyssey). Part XXI added on 5-23-16. Now with recordings.

    Links to my poetry on AW (password: citrus)

  11. #11886
    Riff-Raff Silent Rob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    45,344
    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    When i was 15, my family got a dog. I named her Beelzebub, and we always called her Bubba. So I'm partial to the name.

    She was a small black beagle-terrier mix with a howl and a bark that sounded like they belonged to a much larger dog. Also, she grunted and snored. I loved that dog.

    Nice hair, Haggis. Matches my toes.
    This is great, Cass. I think the opener really grabs the reader'ses's attention.

    Couple of points: You really need a founce in there somewhere and I couldn't help noticing that you never once called haggis a looser.

    Overall, really great!

    *checks positive, negative, positive sammitch*

    *adjusts seasonings*

  12. #11887
    I AM smiling. Angie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Take the damned picture already.
    Posts
    12,065
    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Rob View Post
    This is great, Cass. I think the opener really grabs the reader'ses's attention.

    Couple of points: You really need a founce in there somewhere and I couldn't help noticing that you never once called haggis a looser.

    Overall, really great!

    *checks positive, negative, positive sammitch*

    *adjusts seasonings*
    You spelled loo's'er wrong, Muppet. Critique fail. Go back to class.


  13. #11888
    AW Poet Laureate CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    21,089
    Thanks for commenting, SR!

    I thought about founcing, but I worried about it coming out of left field. Ditto with calling Haggis a looser. I mean, there I am reminiscing about my puppy, and suddenly I'm all hostile on Haggis. But I got a brainstorm about how to work it in. What do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    When i was 15Sometime after my family placed fifteen flickering candles on a german chocolate cake for me, my family got a dog. I named her Beelzebub, and we always called her Bubba. So I'mcolor me partial to the name.

    She was a A small black beagle-terrier mix with a, her howl and a bark that sounded like they belonged to a much larger dog. Also, she grunted and snored. I loved that dog.

    Nice hair, Haggis. Matches my toes.So Haggis, what the hell do you mean, you don't like the name? Loo's'er!

    *founces*
    *steps back to ponder edits*

    hmm, I haven't quite done backwards somersaults to avoid the verb "to be." Why didn't you point it out, Rob? Anyway. I'll fix that, too.
    .
    Adrift on a Wine-Dark Sea (a narrative poem-in-progress, very loosely inspired by the Odyssey). Part XXI added on 5-23-16. Now with recordings.

    Links to my poetry on AW (password: citrus)

  14. #11889
    nurturing tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    29,724
    Quote Originally Posted by GailD View Post
    A friend of mine named her Border 'Impi' (pronounced Impy) because of the dog's playful nature - but 'Impi' is also the Zulu word for warrior, which fitted the dog extremely well.

    Either way, I wish you a long, happy life together.
    What is Zulu for Haggis, or even 'old hag'?
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  15. #11890
    nurturing tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    29,724


    GOOOD MORNIN !!!

    I feel ... rare
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  16. #11891
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    gang aft agley
    Posts
    9,325
    Either way, PSB, I believe the word you're looking for is 'dinner.'
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  17. #11892
    AW Poet Laureate CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    21,089
    No, wait -- I think it's a poem!

    Fifteen flickering candles
    german chocolate cake devoured
    a hungry
    family choir
    missing
    a note --

    one
    black beagle terrier
    handbag-sized
    barking
    grunting
    snoring
    a Baskerville demon hound
    howling for home

    my heart
    A gift
    engorged with love
    wrapped in
    palpitating fur
    Last edited by CassandraW; 04-02-2012 at 08:10 PM.
    .
    Adrift on a Wine-Dark Sea (a narrative poem-in-progress, very loosely inspired by the Odyssey). Part XXI added on 5-23-16. Now with recordings.

    Links to my poetry on AW (password: citrus)

  18. #11893
    Riff-Raff Silent Rob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    45,344
    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    You spelled loo's'er wrong, Muppet. Critique fail. Go back to class.
    *founces*

    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post

    hmm, I haven't quite done backwards somersaults to avoid the verb "to be." Why didn't you point it out, Rob? Anyway. I'll fix that, too.
    You're going to...fix me??

    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    No, wait -- I think it's a poem!

    Fifteen flickering candles
    german chocolate cake devoured
    a hungry
    family choir
    missing
    a note --

    one
    black beagle terrier
    handbag-sized
    barking
    grunting
    snoring
    a Baskerville demon hound
    howling for home

    my heart
    A gift
    engorged with love
    wrapped in
    palpitating fur
    engorged...






    tee hee.

  19. #11894
    I AM smiling. Angie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Take the damned picture already.
    Posts
    12,065
    *titters*


  20. #11895
    AW Poet Laureate CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    21,089
    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Rob View Post
    engorged...






    tee hee.
    Your critique of my poem isn't helpful at ALL! I put four solid minutes into my beautiful poem and all you can do is make a dirty joke.

    *founces*

    tee hee...palpitating



    *unfounces*

    Wait! Wait! I had a burst of poetic editing inspiration

    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post

    Fifteen flickering candles flicker
    german chocolate cake devoured
    leaving
    a howling void
    a hungry
    family choir
    missing
    a note --

    one
    black beagle terrier
    handbag-sized
    barking
    grunting
    snoring
    a Baskerville demon hound
    howling whimpering for home

    my heart
    A gift
    engorged with love
    wrapped in
    palpitating fur
    Last edited by CassandraW; 04-02-2012 at 08:31 PM.
    .
    Adrift on a Wine-Dark Sea (a narrative poem-in-progress, very loosely inspired by the Odyssey). Part XXI added on 5-23-16. Now with recordings.

    Links to my poetry on AW (password: citrus)

  21. #11896
    earthing.. swachski's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    2nd story..
    Posts
    29,583
    handbag-sized...*titters*
    .
    .
    .



    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    You're a ray of sunshine in a dark and dreary world, swach.
    Quote Originally Posted by TedTheewen View Post
    Swach is Swach, she's not replaceable and she's nobody's replacement.



    Into every life crap will fall. — Anne Lamott

    Never lose an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. — Isabel Allende

  22. #11897
    Riff-Raff Silent Rob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    45,344
    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    Your critique of my poem isn't helpful at ALL! I put four solid minutes into my beautiful poem and all you can do is make a dirty joke.

    *founces*

    tee hee...palpitating
    Angie says my crits just confuse PD.

    solid...tee hee!


    ETA: Fark! Now you've moved the cricket stumps!

  23. #11898
    nurturing tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    29,724
    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    No, wait -- I think it's a poem!

    Fifteen flickering candles
    german chocolate cake devoured
    a hungry
    family choir
    missing
    a note --

    one
    black beagle terrier
    handbag-sized
    barking
    grunting
    snoring
    a Baskerville demon hound
    howling for home

    my heart
    A gift
    engorged with love
    wrapped in
    palpitating fur
    Another disgusting example of what Maya Angelou has done to poetry ... no ryme .. no meter .. no surprise ending, no double entendre, an adjective, no ear chocolate ...
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/

    http://absolutelyunofficialpac12spor....blogspot.com/



    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown
    some people have a hard time keeping up with the vanguard ... of course most of those are called survivors - PSB

  24. #11899
    AW Poet Laureate CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    21,089
    Quote Originally Posted by Angie
    *titters*

    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Rob View Post

    solid...tee hee!
    Oooooooh, you guys make me soooo mad...

    But you're not going to discourage me from pursuing my muse:

    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW
    Fifteen candles flicker
    german chocolate cake devoured
    leaving
    a howling void
    a hungry
    family choir
    missing
    a note --

    one
    black beagle terrier,
    handbag-sizedfragile frame
    no larger than
    the pulsing organ
    beating against
    my newly budding breasts


    barking
    grunting
    snoring
    a Baskerville demon hound
    whimpering for home

    my heart
    A gift
    engorged with love
    wrapped in
    palpitating fur
    Make fun of that, huh?
    .
    Adrift on a Wine-Dark Sea (a narrative poem-in-progress, very loosely inspired by the Odyssey). Part XXI added on 5-23-16. Now with recordings.

    Links to my poetry on AW (password: citrus)

  25. #11900
    AW Poet Laureate CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    21,089
    Quote Originally Posted by KellyAssauer View Post
    Maya Angelo has nothing to do with free verse,
    it's been around for over 400 years.

    Get fraking used to it.

    This poem has meter, as all free verse does.
    It's antiquated old fart verse that has rhyme
    (spelled correctly btw...)

    Now stop pissing me off on my birthday.

    *that was the surprise ending part*

    Your work shows promise, Kelly. It has a lot of emotion, and I like the way you work in the fart and the surprise ending. But you really need a founce, and you've spelled "farking" wrong.


    Happy birthday anyway. Don't tell anyone I said so, OK? 'Cause I got a reputation to uphold, and someone might think I was nice or something.
    .
    Adrift on a Wine-Dark Sea (a narrative poem-in-progress, very loosely inspired by the Odyssey). Part XXI added on 5-23-16. Now with recordings.

    Links to my poetry on AW (password: citrus)

Page 476 of 1039 FirstFirst ... 226376401426451466470471472473474475476477478479480481482486501526551576726976 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Custom Search