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Thread: Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

  1. #11501
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    Re: the Mail Carrier case

    The state of Pennsylvania completed a study in 2007 that whose result indicated that 1.3 percent of all traffic accidents in the state of Pennsylvania between March, 2006 and July, 2007 were caused by the distraction of drivers by the *founcing* of U.S. Mail carriers.
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  2. #11502
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kenthepen View Post
    Re: the Mail Carrier case

    The state of Pennsylvania completed a study in 2007 that whose result indicated that 1.3 percent of all traffic accidents in the state of Pennsylvania between March, 2006 and July, 2007 were caused by the distraction of drivers by the *founcing* of U.S. Mail carriers.
    Luckily, only 1.3 percent of mail carriers have nice azzes.

  3. #11503
    practical experience, FTW kenthepen's Avatar
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    Not true! My own personal study-- I mean, I've noticed a larger percentage than that in the carriers that walk their routes. Of course the ones that drive. . . . . . .
    113k on WIP! Someone tell me to shut up!

    Severe allergic reaction to the slightest traces of reality

    Kenneth Folta available on Smashwords

  4. #11504
    I'm on the phone. kayleamay's Avatar
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    You're both clearing talking out of your non-mail-carrying azzes. I find this entire discussion to be nothing more than postulation and hyperbole. I mean, seriously, a whole page of this banter and not a single mention of the Great Package Study of 2010?

    Consider yourselves disbarred!

    *pulls stools out from under thepen and casstrator*
    *plants cabaret flag on bar*
    *announces that whiskey is on the house, courtesy of June Planning*
    "I never said, 'I could write.' I said, 'I could, right?'."

    Hushpuppy: "When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me flying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece of a big, big universe and that makes things right. When I die, the scientists of the future, they're gonna find it all. They're gonna know, once there was a Hushpuppy and she lived with her daddy in the bathtub." ~ Beasts of the Southern Wild

  5. #11505
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kayleamay View Post
    You're both clearing talking out of your non-mail-carrying azzes. I find this entire discussion to be nothing more than postulation and hyperbole. I mean, seriously, a whole page of this banter and not a single mention of the Great Package Study of 2010?
    Nuh uh! I wasn't talking out of my azz! I can prove it -- no vocal cords there! And I do carry mail. To my apartment and such. And I'm always getting the guy in the apartment next door's mail, and I bring it to him sometimes, when I feel like it.

    And at least part of what I said above was true.

    *skims previous post for true statements*

    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    You read that wrong. FYI, Title VII prohibits sex-based occupational discrimination, so the Supreme Court never would make such a ruling. As Justice Scalia would say, "Duh!"

    What the ruling actually said was that "No state shall pass any law abridging the rights of any mail person to engage in the physical behavior known as *founcing.*"

    The court found that, given the propensity of dogs to chase mail carriers, it was essential to the smooth operation of the United States Postal Service that they be able to founce at will.


    Men, like women, are inviting and initiating sexual interaction when they founce. Or pretty much when they do anything. Men are easy.
    See?

    (Any other chronic insomniacs in the Cabaret? Sigh. Time for a nightcap and a novel that isn't mine.)

  6. #11506
    Riff-Raff Silent Rob's Avatar
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    Nightcaps are so now.

    *flicks tassel*

  7. #11507
    nurturing tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
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    That's Disgusting
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    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown

  8. #11508
    nurturing tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
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    GOOOD MORNIN !!!

    I feel .. licked
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/


    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown

  9. #11509
    I can breathz fire!!! parumpdragon's Avatar
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    WOw Kelly - you look daring!!!


    Morning guys and gals!
    A cute little bug :

    Goodreads

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  10. #11510
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Rob View Post
    Nightcaps are so now.

    *flicks tassel*
    *flicks muppet's tassel*

    Now founce for me. Yeah. Make it jiggle, baby.

  11. #11511
    Ooh, that stings. Angie's Avatar
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    *sets up video camera*
    Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra, who will NEVER live this down if I have anything to say about it
    At this point, cray, showering with you and qW sounds just fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cella
    cray watches kids on Netflix.

  12. #11512
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    *sets up video camera*
    *puts on appropriate music*

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNcskHlvc2c

  13. #11513
    Ooh, that stings. Angie's Avatar
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    I'm pretty sure that's Rob's anthem.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra, who will NEVER live this down if I have anything to say about it
    At this point, cray, showering with you and qW sounds just fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cella
    cray watches kids on Netflix.

  14. #11514
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Yeah, looks like he's been rehearsing moves to it.

    You gotta give the muppet this much -- he knows how to get saucy with a tassel.

  15. #11515
    Ooh, that stings. Angie's Avatar
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    That's about *all* I'll give him. *shudders*
    Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra, who will NEVER live this down if I have anything to say about it
    At this point, cray, showering with you and qW sounds just fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cella
    cray watches kids on Netflix.

  16. #11516
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    That's about *all* I'll give him. *shudders*

    Well, that's not really fair. I mean, he's not Cray.

  17. #11517
    Ooh, that stings. Angie's Avatar
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    Well, that's true. Or the fuzzrat.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra, who will NEVER live this down if I have anything to say about it
    At this point, cray, showering with you and qW sounds just fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cella
    cray watches kids on Netflix.

  18. #11518
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Or Porter.

  19. #11519
    Ooh, that stings. Angie's Avatar
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    *shudder*
    Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra, who will NEVER live this down if I have anything to say about it
    At this point, cray, showering with you and qW sounds just fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cella
    cray watches kids on Netflix.

  20. #11520
    I can breathz fire!!! parumpdragon's Avatar
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    Hi guys!
    A cute little bug :

    Goodreads

    I'm a friend of Foo Bat - join the club!

  21. #11521
    Ooh, that stings. Angie's Avatar
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    Do you need a coma?
    Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra, who will NEVER live this down if I have anything to say about it
    At this point, cray, showering with you and qW sounds just fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cella
    cray watches kids on Netflix.

  22. #11522
    nurturing tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
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    out dealing with sap .. just peeked in
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/


    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown

  23. #11523
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, our options here are pretty limited.

    *watches Muppet strut*

    That big red nose isn't really doing it for me, though. And his crazed grin is kinda dampening the mood.

  24. #11524
    I can breathz fire!!! parumpdragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KellyAssauer View Post
    halp!

    PD's confusing me!
    .
    Ooh goody - I have a gift!
    A cute little bug :

    Goodreads

    I'm a friend of Foo Bat - join the club!

  25. #11525
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PorterStarrByrd View Post
    out dealing with sap
    *starts to make joke; decides it's too obvious*

    *consults computer program*

    *computer program also declines to respond*

    Quote Originally Posted by PorterStarrByrd View Post
    just peeked in

    tee hee...peak

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