Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write

Thread: Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip

  1. #8176
    Sky isn't falling, ground is rising Del's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    In a hole in the dark in a cold cold place
    Posts
    4,048
    **Opens Cabaret for Sunday services**

    We should all reflect on our religious convictions. So I submit that today, the holiest day of the week, we should drink religiously.


  2. #8177
    nurturing tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    26,439
    **Hits thread with 2X4 in hand**

    forget us our sins ...
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/


    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown

  3. #8178
    Where did the thread get a two-by-four and when did it sprout hands?

  4. #8179
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    In your worst nightmare
    Posts
    50,962
    Mmmm. A winter white. Nice pick, Del.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavern08 View Post
    I don't care what anyone says - Haggis is HAWT!
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  5. #8180
    nurturing tomorrows criminals today PorterStarrByrd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Moose Creek, Maine
    Posts
    26,439
    Don't bother me ..

    I'm lost somewhere else in the forum.
    http://porterstarrbyrd.blogspot.com/


    We have met the enemy and he is us - Pogo
    The reason I spend so much time out of the box is that somebody crapped in it - Porter Starr Byrd
    Yield to temptation, it may never come again - unknown

  6. #8181
    Your Cuddly Sociopathic AW Moderator Jaycinth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Same Psychosis...different day.
    Posts
    13,439
    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    *sits, sipping Bushmill's, reading the rules...reads the rules again...sips more Bushmill's*
    SIGH:::: rules
    are as follows:
    • Bushmills Wets Paper
    • Paper(Carolina Christian Conservative most likely) covers rock
    • Rock is repudiated by Chihuahua
    • Chihuahua Proselytizes Jaycinth
    • Jaycinth listens to rock
    • Rock hits Chihuahua
    • Chihuahua writes paper
    • Paper is about Bushmills
    • Bushmills gets drunk by chihuahua
    • And..as always...the Bushmills, being improperly bottled, doesn't go on through that short digestive track, never bothers the kidneys and comes back up, and as always...Bushmills wets paper.
    By JAYCINTH: I have my OWN PAGE at Aquarius Custom Jewelry. Please, come and see and like me on Facebook.
    I'm editing the 'Sensible Man' I STILL love these unpaid gigs


  7. #8182
    Sky isn't falling, ground is rising Del's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    In a hole in the dark in a cold cold place
    Posts
    4,048
    Quote Originally Posted by Rolling Thunder View Post
    Where did the thread get a two-by-four and when did it sprout hands?
    It's the Alcohol Control Board. Not much we can do about it.

  8. #8183
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,486
    Good morning everyone, and happy Sunda...

    *checks out jack-booted mod, fairy princess, stacked shots of 151, and pools of Jameson-scented urine*

    Well, I see everything is normal here. I'm going to pass on the ale for now, thanks, since I see Jaycinth has kindly lined up some shots for me. Catch you later!

    *scampers into men's bathroom*
    Quote Originally Posted by robeiae
    Sometimes you're no fun at all.

  9. #8184
    Your Cuddly Sociopathic AW Moderator Jaycinth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Same Psychosis...different day.
    Posts
    13,439
    Quote Originally Posted by Del View Post
    It's the Alcohol Control Board. Not much we can do about it.
    It's oak; ancient and hardened by the years.
    By JAYCINTH: I have my OWN PAGE at Aquarius Custom Jewelry. Please, come and see and like me on Facebook.
    I'm editing the 'Sensible Man' I STILL love these unpaid gigs


  10. #8185
    Sky isn't falling, ground is rising Del's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    In a hole in the dark in a cold cold place
    Posts
    4,048
    Guys, we have a real problem with Cassandrahamsterghoul. She keeps leaving the seat down.

  11. #8186
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    In your worst nightmare
    Posts
    50,962
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaycinth View Post
    SIGH:::: rules
    are as follows:
    • Bushmills Wets Paper
    • Paper(Carolina Christian Conservative most likely) covers rock
    • Rock is repudiated by Chihuahua
    • Chihuahua Proselytizes Jaycinth
    • Jaycinth listens to rock
    • Rock hits Chihuahua
    • Chihuahua writes paper
    • Paper is about Bushmills
    • Bushmills gets drunk by chihuahua
    • And..as always...the Bushmills, being improperly bottled, doesn't go on through that short digestive track, never bothers the kidneys and comes back up, and as always...Bushmills wets paper.
    Yay! I got speshul rules!
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavern08 View Post
    I don't care what anyone says - Haggis is HAWT!
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  12. #8187
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,486
    Quote Originally Posted by Del View Post
    Guys, we have a real problem with Cassandrahamsterghoul. She keeps leaving the seat down.
    Oh. Oh, and that wasn't 151 in those shotglasses.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Yay! I got speshul rules!
    Yes, pumpkin. You are a speshul cneauphlaque. Now give me my goddamn alimony.
    Quote Originally Posted by robeiae
    Sometimes you're no fun at all.

  13. #8188
    Sky isn't falling, ground is rising Del's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    In a hole in the dark in a cold cold place
    Posts
    4,048
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaycinth View Post
    It's oak; ancient and hardened by the years.
    We need that sort of support here.



  14. #8189
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    In your worst nightmare
    Posts
    50,962
    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    Yes, pumpkin. You are a speshul cneauphlaque. Now give me my goddamn alimony.
    Jay, tell her she's not allowed to speak Gaelic in the Cabaret.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del View Post
    Guys, we have a real problem with Cassandrahamsterghoul. She keeps leaving the seat down.
    I wouldn't let it stop me. I mean, it's not like you're the one who's gonna have to clean it up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavern08 View Post
    I don't care what anyone says - Haggis is HAWT!
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  15. #8190
    Fascist.

  16. #8191
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,486
    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Jay, tell her she's not allowed to speak Gaelic in the Cabaret.
    *scans Jay's rules*

    Jameson, rock, paper, chihuahua, pee...nope, I don't see anything about not speaking Gaelic.
    Quote Originally Posted by robeiae
    Sometimes you're no fun at all.

  17. #8192
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    In your worst nightmare
    Posts
    50,962
    Quote Originally Posted by Rolling Thunder View Post
    Fascist.
    *curtsies*

    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    *scans Jay's rules*

    Jameson, rock, paper, chihuahua, pee...nope, I don't see anything about not speaking Gaelic.
    Sheesh. You forgot to read the part that's between the lines.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavern08 View Post
    I don't care what anyone says - Haggis is HAWT!
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  18. #8193
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,486
    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Sheesh. You forgot to read the part that's between the lines.
    Yeah, well, it's hard to read fine print with these swollen, blood-shot, hamster-demon eyes.
    Last edited by CassandraW; 03-04-2012 at 09:45 PM. Reason: can't spell today. oopsie
    Quote Originally Posted by robeiae
    Sometimes you're no fun at all.

  19. #8194
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    In your worst nightmare
    Posts
    50,962
    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    Yeah, well, it's hard to read fine print with these swollen, blood-shot, hampster-demon eyes.
    Too bad reg isn't around to give you a slightly more appealing avatar.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavern08 View Post
    I don't care what anyone says - Haggis is HAWT!
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  20. #8195
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,486
    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Too bad reg isn't around to give you a slightly more appealing avatar.
    Isn't that just like you, always pushing responsibility off on someone else. As if you weren't perfectly capable of giving me a slightly more appealing avatar yourself. This is the kind of thing that broke up our marriage.

    But as it happens, I'd like to keep this avatar for a bit longer. I want to scurry up to Query Hell and scare some squirrels with it.

    Edited to add: On an unrelated topic: Silent Rob/Muppeh. So...he pops in his head in the dead of night, admires my new look, leaves a few rep points, and sneaks away without posting in the thread? Is that his deal? I mean, I'm cool with it. I just want to know.
    Last edited by CassandraW; 03-04-2012 at 09:37 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by robeiae
    Sometimes you're no fun at all.

  21. #8196
    Your Cuddly Sociopathic AW Moderator Jaycinth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Same Psychosis...different day.
    Posts
    13,439
    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Jay, tell her she's not allowed to speak Gaelic in the Cabaret.
    Speak to Boudicca 'cause the fairy ain't listening


    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    I wouldn't let it stop me. I mean, it's not like you're the one who's gonna have to clean it up.

    That's right. If you insist on drinkin' th' Bushmill's then, wee dog, tha'll hae to clean y' own messes for fair Cindy won't be touchin' it.

    (hands Haggis a rock band to repudiate)
    By JAYCINTH: I have my OWN PAGE at Aquarius Custom Jewelry. Please, come and see and like me on Facebook.
    I'm editing the 'Sensible Man' I STILL love these unpaid gigs


  22. #8197
    Your Cuddly Sociopathic AW Moderator Jaycinth's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Same Psychosis...different day.
    Posts
    13,439
    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    Oh. Oh, and that wasn't 151 in those shotglasses.



    .

    What matters is that, for awhile, you thought it was.








    Actually...it is a quarter 151. RT's liver doesn't filter that well any more.





    Too many holes.
    By JAYCINTH: I have my OWN PAGE at Aquarius Custom Jewelry. Please, come and see and like me on Facebook.
    I'm editing the 'Sensible Man' I STILL love these unpaid gigs


  23. #8198
    Gone Fishing SuperModerator Haggis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    In your worst nightmare
    Posts
    50,962
    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post

    Edited to add: On an unrelated topic: Silent Rob/Muppeh. So...he pops in his head in the dead of night, admires my new look, leaves a few rep points, and sneaks away without posting in the thread? Is that his deal? I mean, I'm cool with it. I just want to know.
    Rob's British. That's the way they are.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavern08 View Post
    I don't care what anyone says - Haggis is HAWT!
    Stewie the Chihuey
    featuring the lovely and talented




  24. #8199
    I sometimes hiccup fire parumpdragon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    29,293
    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Too bad reg isn't around to give you a slightly more appealing avatar.


    You don't think your ex is beautiful as she is?

    *more laughter*

    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    But as it happens, I'd like to keep this avatar for a bit longer. I want to scurry up to Query Hell and scare some squirrels with it.
    what a masterful plan!

    Quote Originally Posted by CassandraW View Post
    Edited to add: On an unrelated topic: Silent Rob/Muppeh. So...he pops in his head in the dead of night, admires my new look, leaves a few rep points, and sneaks away without posting in the thread? Is that his deal? I mean, I'm cool with it. I just want to know.
    Yeah, it's the British thing, and he's in Jarmany. It changes a man.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Rob's British. That's the way they are.
    I just said that.

    You forgot the thing about Jarmany though!


    **And good morning Haggis
    A cute little bug :

    Dear God, Thank you for keeping me together when I'm falling apart.


    Goodreads

    I'm a friend of Foo Bat - join the club!

  25. #8200
    speak softly & carry a fanged beast CassandraW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    unlisted
    Posts
    15,486
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaycinth View Post
    What matters is that, for awhile, you thought it was.
    For one brief shining moment...Camelot.

    Quote Originally Posted by Haggis View Post
    Rob's British. That's the way they are.
    Ah. And that explains the muppet head, too. Fine then. All clear. Carry on.

    And hello, PD. Top 'o th' mornin' t' ye.
    Quote Originally Posted by robeiae
    Sometimes you're no fun at all.

Page 328 of 1039 FirstFirst ... 78228253278303318322323324325326327328329330331332333334338353378403428578828 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Custom Search