Comedy Cabaret--2012 Road Trip
- Thread starter Jaycinth
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And I should start a thread and call it R1B1. (Raise one, boot one.)
*
It takes a villiage....
...to hog tie any frikkin' 18 year old, and drag them out of the house where they imagine they've been comfortable for 18 years, and mount an effective and concerted perimeter defense to keep the 18year olds from returning, and they will, like a zombie swarm intent on nothing but your cable TV, refrigerator, and...dare I say it..YOUR BRAIN.
Seriously, have you heard zombies?
Everyone says they say 'brains'
but, they're actually saying 'Mom. Mom. Mom....
I suggest that you make frends with a realestate agent, list the house for sale-furnished, and move.
If you are lucky, they won't realize you are in Florida until they run out of clean clothes...and if they have jobs, they'll just keep buying the latest fashions, and never notice the stuff they wore last week isn't getting cleaned.
umm,...
*scratches back of neck*
have you guys noticed haggis's's huge bone?
i certainly have.
*scratches back of neck*
have you guys noticed haggis's's huge bone?
i certainly have.
Of course you would. We know your secret Cray and you've been staring at Haggis's bone -er- all morning.
ETA: my mother used to say that having children was like being pecked to death by a duck.
And the ducks in my neighborhood still keep wondering why protective services takes their eggs away.
My daughter spends hours in her bedroom, listening to her iPod. When I call her to dinner, she doesn't respond. So, I open her bedroom door and call her again. She doesn't respond. I flicker the lights so she'll look up and I say, "DINNER!". Then she yells at me for startling her.
I think I'm going to adopt this behavior and use it on my boys.
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ETA: My popcorn guy was supposed to go behind qw's post. Where it's at now just doesn't make sense.
ETA: My popcorn guy was supposed to go behind qw
that's normally the milkman's station.
ETA: My popcorn guy was supposed to go behind qw's post. Where it's at now just doesn't make sense.
It makes about as much sense as porter's posts, so I wouldn't worry.
Hey, I like fresh cream. Sue me.
7 step recovery program
1. padlock your cupboards and fridge (baby proofing phase 2)
2. Make meals that don't taste all that good cold
3. Put meal on table
4. Call teenager ONCE
5. Leave food there until consumed or putrified (replace when this step is completed)
6. Rely on collaberation of taste buds and and survival instinct of said teenager
7. If you find teenager out of room .. padlock room until dishes are done.
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My children used to, well, still do 'Tune In(to cable) Turn On (the Computer) and 'Drop Out' (of family meal plans)
Since I do not know how to cook efficiently for one person, I will make the meal and I will plate the meal and I will stand in the hall way at the appointed time of 7pm...which has not changed since I was born...and I will say, in my inside voice..
'dinner'
Then I...or actually, these days it is Brian and I, will eat a wonderful meal.
I then take the plates of the 'not shows' and I cover the with a ceramic bowl (kind of like thge way they used to send home chicken dinners from the church social, but I'm using the nice family plates and not paper plates...although.....)
I then stack the meals in the microwave.
Then I wait for the mirth which usually occurs about 8 pm.
'Mom, What's for dinner?'
"It's on the chart on the fridge" (yeah... I plan a month in advance and Hecate help anyone who trys to change my plans)
'Mom, are you cooking________ tonite?'
"Yep."
"When's Dinner?"
"7pm"
"It's 8 already!"
"Yep"
"What about dinner?"
"It was at 7. I put it in the microwave when you didn't come to the table"
"Oh"
....
Oh...and it gets better.....
They never come out of their rooms at the same time.
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My children used to, well, still do 'Tune In(to cable) Turn On (the Computer) and 'Drop Out' (of family meal plans)
Since I do not know how to cook efficiently for one person, I will make the meal and I will plate the meal and I will stand in the hall way at the appointed time of 7pm...which has not changed since I was born...and I will say, in my inside voice..
'dinner'
Then I...or actually, these days it is Brian and I, will eat a wonderful meal.
I then take the plates of the 'not shows' and I cover the with a ceramic bowl (kind of like thge way they used to send home chicken dinners from the church social, but I'm using the nice family plates and not paper plates...although.....)
I then stack the meals in the microwave.
Then I wait for the mirth which usually occurs about 8 pm.
'Mom, What's for dinner?'
"It's on the chart on the fridge" (yeah... I plan a month in advance and Hecate help anyone who trys to change my plans)
'Mom, are you cooking________ tonite?'
"Yep."
"When's Dinner?"
"7pm"
"It's 8 already!"
"Yep"
"What about dinner?"
"It was at 7. I put it in the microwave when you didn't come to the table"
"Oh"
....
Oh...and it gets better.....
They never come out of their rooms at the same time.
I will be attempting this tonight.
Our middle boy got in a bit of trouble for what I deem excessive laziness last month. My husband assigned him the punishment of raking up the leaves in the front yard and even went as far as providing him with a rake, a tarp and a short tutorial so he'd know the quickest way to accomplish his mission.
He did not rake the leaves. We looked out at him periodically. He was swinging the rake in the air, climbing trees, looking at things in the dirt. He stayed out there for four hours and didn't do a bit of work.
We ordered pizza for dinner, got everyone all set up with a couple of slices and beverage of choice, then called him in to eat.
He sat down to a plate with two pieces of white bread on it and a glass of water. He thought we were joking. When he realized we weren't...oh, the look....the look was priceless! He stormed off in tears and elected to put himself to bed, mumbling something about child abuse as he went.
The next morning he woke up early and went out and raked the leaves. I asked him if he thought his punishment taught him anything. He said, "Yeah, it taught me that I wanted breakfast."
Meh, close enough.
So, yeah.
When's dinner and....... stuff?
Bend over. My New Year's resolution is to be 100% more efficient.
I'm giving up
ahhhh washing dishes.- Status