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slcboston said:

Dear Agent:

I've written a book. Things happen. Exciting things. It's a good book.

Sincerely,
The Writer



No?

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Sounds good to me. Launch that puppy over the wall.

slcboston said:

Dear Agent:

I've written a book. Things happen. Exciting things. It's a good book.

Sincerely,
The Writer



No?

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works for me!

slcboston said:

Dear Agent:

I've written a book. Things happen. Exciting things.It's a good book.

Sincerely,
The Writer

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Close, but we probably need to mention there are people in the book. I suggest adding: "It has characters. They are fascinating."

Shoeless said:

By saying it, it has now become a thing.

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Friday is my last day at this job, and on Friday our systems will be offline all day. So!

This week's treasure hunt idea (it's a contest): I hide nips of liquor all over the office. I try to get drunk all day. They try to prevent it. FUN ENSUES!

ravenlea said:

Going cross-eyed. Spent half the day writing and rewriting a query. Something is wrong when you spend that much time to answer the simple quetion: what is the story about

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slcboston said:

Dear Agent:

I've written a book. Things happen. Exciting things. It's a good book.

Sincerely,
The Writer



No?

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I kinda like this one. It might actually work if the agent has been inundated with horrid queries and they see it 5 minutes before going home on a weekend. (do agents get weekends?)
(It would work even better if your name is John Scalzi. He could probably get away with it.)

I have had a thought about how to find the important stuff to put in a query. Dunno if it would work or not, what do you think?

It takes 2 people besides yourself. Give the story to someone, have them read it. Then ask them to send an email to someone who has not read the story and tell them about it so they are interested enough to read it. Have the second person use that email to do the same for you. Kind of an operator game.

With luck, this will filter out all the cool stuff you as the writer want to say that only clogs things up and only the bare bones will remain. You can use that skeleton to make your query.

This idea may suck. I have never written a query and have only a general idea what they are for. So feel free to me if you like.

Debio said:

This idea may suck. I have never written a query and have only a general idea what they are for. So feel free to me if you like.

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What's interesting about this is that reading is so utterly subjective that you very well may not even recognize the story when filtered and described to you in this manner.

True, but if nothing else, you'll have a new story to write.

Good way for filing off the serial numbers, I'd guess. I think I read something by Ursula Le Guin once where she talked about that. Crap. Le Guin, that is who is missing on my shelf. C G Cherryh too. I need me some Down Below Station.

CAMueller said:

Close, but we probably need to mention there are people in the book. I suggest adding: "It has characters. They are fascinating."

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Excellent point.

Dear Agent:

I've written a book. Things happen. Exciting things, to fascinating characters. It's a good book.

Sincerely,
The Writer

There.

B, call your vet. Request correct dose of baby benedryl. Apply at frequency suggested, during required time frame.

Trust me, I'm a doctor.

*trusts*

Debio said:

It takes 2 people besides yourself. Give the story to someone, have them read it. Then ask them to send an email to someone who has not read the story and tell them about it so they are interested enough to read it. Have the second person use that email to do the same for you. Kind of an operator game.

With luck, this will filter out all the cool stuff you as the writer want to say that only clogs things up and only the bare bones will remain. You can use that skeleton to make your query.

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I like this idea. I need to get it down to the bare bones and this sounds like it might work. If nothing else it will give my sisters-in-law something to do on their day off

amergina said:

And why is it that the smaller the cat, the louder the voice?

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FNC.

Feline Napolean Complex.

Next he'll start with the hats and the hand in his jacket.

Then he'll climb to whatever horizontal surface has the most expensive or easily breakable stuff. He will look around to see if anyone is paying attention, and knock something off. He will look around again to see if anyone noticed, then repeat.

Or, she will pee on your husbands brand new very expensive leather jacket.

But, I don't think you have to worry. Your little one sounds much nicer than my sisters little hellion.

My sisters cat was "special." The pee thing was not a matter of "oops, I couldn't hold it" it was definitely, "you pissed me off, now you will pay".

It got to the point that when she started toward the bedroom, everyone ran to catch her. You knew what she was gonna do.

Debio said:

My sisters cat was "special." The pee thing was not a matter of "oops, I couldn't hold it" it was definitely, "you pissed me off, now you will pay".

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That's not special.

That's being a psychotic b****.

amergina said:

Little boy cat is horribly fastidious.

Actually, both cats are very good about not going anywhere but the box. Never had the pee problem.

Do have the "Oh hey, here's a small thing on this table. I wonder what it sounds like when it hits the floor?" problem though.

As well as the "If I do something bad, she'll come and pay attention to me" problem.

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yes - this is my kitty... everything on the table has to go on the floor!

also - all but 8 books are in boxes - and they are all strangely shaped, large, and/or heavy as f#$@

I am now going to watch some Big Bang Theory

I am now going to watch this.

slcboston said:

That's not special.

That's being a psychotic b****.

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Yeah, well, I agree, and I believe that that particular description was used fairly frequently. I was just trying not to use such language. I have been reading recent threads on Making Light and Whatever about such language, so I am more sensitive to it than usual.

This cat did the "pet me now!" thing. But she did it with claws and teeth. Then the "not there!" claws and teeth, "here", chin raised and gloating smile, "yes, that is correct"

It was intimidating to be honest. You wouldn't think people would stop visiting because the cat had a bad attitude, but that is what happened.

Debio said:

My sisters cat was "special." The pee thing was not a matter of "oops, I couldn't hold it" it was definitely, "you pissed me off, now you will pay".

It got to the point that when she started toward the bedroom, everyone ran to catch her. You knew what she was gonna do.

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Oh wow, I think I own your sister's cat.

Debio said:

Yeah, well, I agree, and I believe that that particular description was used fairly frequently. I was just trying not to use such language. I have been reading recent threads on Making Light and Whatever about such language, so I am more sensitive to it than usual.

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I censored.



And if it had been a boy kitty, I would have said psychotic b******.


I figure that way, you have to be able to count and spell in order to be offended. And it's gender-appropriate.



I am going to take a cue from my cat, who is asleep on his back, as usual, and head out.

Nakhlasmoke said:

Oh wow, I think I own your sister's cat.

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That wouldn't surprise me too much actually. She passed away about 5 years ago.

So it wouldn't surprise me at all if she clawed her way back from the depths of hell to make some other poor human family her slaves.

ETA: I love cats by the way. Really, I do. I wish I could have one, but my wife is allergic.

My cat is very well behaved, for a ninja. No psychotic episodes, no peeing in the house. But she keeps the dog on the edge of a nervous breakdown all the time. Puppy is never safe; Cat apparently has a paw-held teleport device, to be able to hide and pounce on the dog, multiple times over the course of a single stroll through the house.

She's also figured out how to get into the cabinets above my sink, despite the fact that there is no way to climb or jump up there, no way for her to get the doors open, or any room for her to maneuver once she's up there. Three mornings out of seven, we'll find her up there, purring smugly among the wine glasses, watching the "Everybody gets up and Staggers Through The House" Show.

My house has been in turmoil for the last two months, as you all have heard, ad nauseum. I must be acclimating, because, despite it all, I've been able to sit down and start writing again! Hallelujah!