XoLeIn GaEpRuXoMyRuEp

Status
Not open for further replies.

Kricket

Chirp! Chirp!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 30, 2010
Messages
4,409
Reaction score
733
Location
Colorado
I have decided to slowly get back into my writing by writing silly little adventure stories about my boys. It's the best thing I can think of to warm up my poor neglected brain.
 

aliwood

Penmonkey Contrarian
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 21, 2011
Messages
8,581
Reaction score
1,563
Location
UK Cantina
Website
truckloadofart.wordpress.com
I have decided to slowly get back into my writing by writing silly little adventure stories about my boys. It's the best thing I can think of to warm up my poor neglected brain.

Try an AtCT.

Talking of which...

I should add that it's possibly not up (or down) to the usual standard but that it seems to have demanded to be written and it's all pretty much as it came out of my head. You know how these things are.
 
Last edited:

aliwood

Penmonkey Contrarian
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 21, 2011
Messages
8,581
Reaction score
1,563
Location
UK Cantina
Website
truckloadofart.wordpress.com
As the Cantina Turns - A Funny Smibble happened on the way to the Forum

If this makes you smile, please consider giving a donation to Kids Need To Read - Thank you


“It's a question of whether you want emotional depth and an immersion into the storyspace or whether you want to build the tension and heighten interest by leaving the character hanging,” whispered Fen.

“She's only throwing a mug, what difference does it make?” whispered Ali in reply, demonstrating the action with her own mug.

“Why the mug anyway?” asked Fen, looking around the corner of a chair.

“It's my THAD.”

“Your what now?” whispered Fen, looking amused and ducking her head back down behind the chair.

“THAD. Talking Head Avoidance Device. The thing you put into the scene to avoid two characters just standing there talking to each other, like exploding snap or something,” Ali waved her tea mug around as she explained.

“Oh, sounds like an excuse to be anti-social to David Byrne,” whispered Fen

“Should we really be discussing this right now?”


Their problems had begun around twenty minutes earlier when the Cantina doors had opened and a man announcing himself as Ernest Scribbler had arrived to make their lives a living hell. Standing at the top of the Grand Staircase Ernest had explained to anyone listening,

“Here in the Cabaret, I know you appreciate fine comedy. I've been working on these classic jokes since I was a teenager and so far no one has laughed. Ladies and Gentleman, I am going to stay here and perform my routine for you non-stop until I get that laugh.” Ernest had then launched himself into a series of rejects from 'World's Worst Joke' books and no one had thought he was funny. He looked liked the living embodiment of beige, but he was desperate and therefore dangerous.

To begin with no one had taken him seriously. A little light heckling had been ignored and a couple of thrown Smibbles had been ripped to shreds with some rather deft moves from an innocent looking walking stick Ernest had been carrying. Eventually unable to take the dreadful punch-lines Bos had made a rush for the stairs, tripped on the remains of a Smibble and crashed to the floor at Ernest's feet where Ernest had stabbed Bos in the calf and then kicked him off the top step, to roll back down the staircase again. Unable to help him, the remaining cantinas had waited several anxious minutes for Bos to come around and then stop the bleeding with a makeshift tourniquet.

Ali looked out from between the the two arm-chairs. At the top of the grand staircase Ernest was still prattling away at his jokes. Kricket was quietly sobbing into the sleeve of her sweater and Hillz was cursing under her breath. Her shovel was stacked away in the umbrella stand with most of the other hand to hand weaponry the cantinas carried. Ali and Fen were crouching behind two squashy armchairs at the back of the cantina.

“Is there really no way out? “ Ali asked. Fen looked down at the map and shook her head.

“It's pointless. He's standing in front of all the doors and the teleporter. We know that the receptionist's knocked out cold so we'll get no help there. We can't make a break for the fireplace as we have to cover open ground and we know that he's got a slingshot. I just hope Cobra's alright.” Fen peered through the gap between the two chairs. At the top of the staircase it was just possible to make out Cobra's boots, visible in the dim light. “He was trussed up like a turkey with that bandoleer tie of his once the guy shot him down.”

“You told him, that buying that tie was a shell game, “ said Ali, tapping her pen against the writing pad. “I'm going to give this scene another go,” she said, “it's got to work somehow.”

“How can you write at a time like this?” whispered Fen.

“I'm a writer. What else can I do?” whispered Ali, turning over a page. Fen returned to peering through the gap between the chairs, taking a roll-call of the cantinas that were left. Most of them appeared to be catatonic or in a state of terror from the endless series of appalling punch-lines. Having accounted for as many writers as she could Fen returned to helping Ali straighten out the one paragraph that was left to edit before her competition entry was ready. Heads down and whispering ideas they began to sort out the point of view problem that had kept the writing from being it's usual masterpiece. After a few minutes they heard a cough.

“Ahem. Excuse me. I just couldn't help noticing that you're not cowering in fear.” It was Ernest. He'd walked over unnoticed while they were writing.

“Sorry. No. I've got a competition entry to write,” explained Ali, pointing at the writing pad. “3000 words by Wednesday. We just need to sort out this point of view question in the third paragraph.”

“What's the problem?” asked Ernest. Ali and Fen explained about the protagonist needing to throw a tea mug and that they hadn't worked out where the narrator needed to be to explain the scene. Ali demonstrated with her own mug.

“If I'm in my own head, how do I feel about throwing my own mug?” she asked, looking at the mug in a forlorn hope it would provide the answer. Ernest took the mug from her,

“The way I see it, you've got to speak with intensity as you throw the mug,” he said, “or you've got to say that she threw it with force,” he pitched his arm forward and the mug flew across the room shattering on the fireplace wall,

“Hey! That was my favourite tea mug. Now I'm pretty damn annoyed.”

“Oh sorry. Well look let me show you with this.” Ernest picked a nearby plant pot and drew back his arm. Fen rushed forward,

“No. Not my Prickly Pear, plants are good for the planet and you could hurt someone.” She wrestled it from Ernest's grip. Ernest snarled and reached for his slingshot. It was instinct. Fen slammed the plant straight into the nearest part of Ernest she could reach. He collapsed groaning, onto the floor, curling up in agony.

Ali said “You know you probably shouldn't have hit him in the...”

“Balls!” replied Fen, “No one messes with my cactus – Wendy.”
 
Last edited:

Kricket

Chirp! Chirp!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 30, 2010
Messages
4,409
Reaction score
733
Location
Colorado
*applauds Ali* (Kindle doesn't like to make smilies)

Very well done. Now how am I supposed to follow that? :)
 

Fenika

Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 3, 2007
Messages
24,311
Reaction score
5,109
Location
-
Oh, a new chapter of AtCTs. I will have to read it later today though.

I have decided to slowly get back into my writing by writing silly little adventure stories about my boys. It's the best thing I can think of to warm up my poor neglected brain.

Thats cute. I should do this with my chickens and parrots.

I did print out a rabies article which gives me ideas for my medieval rabies story, and I think I finally have a good ending. It's nice and dark. I havent sat down with that story in weeks and weeks however.
 

slcboston

Pasture-ized
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 1, 2007
Messages
50,312
Reaction score
29,060
Location
Second Star To The Right
Well, yes, but I did most of the work. :D

I will concede that for the nine months that you carried mini-K, biologically most of the work was yours. But you were hardly alone in the effort of baby prep occurring outside the biological, and you certainly didn't conceive alone. (Unless mini-K was some sort of immaculate conception. In which case you've been holding back on us. :D)

Guys may not go through the physical changes pregnancy brings about, but it's not like we (and here I speak solely for those who are endeavoring to be good husbands/fathers) just sit around for nine months waiting for you to pop.

Certainly from here on out the workload really ought to be on an even footing.

:)


Sorry, I may have a small issue with the seemingly culturally ingrained idea here in the US that somehow Mom is where it starts and ends with parenting, so statements about how "I made him/her myself" that casually discount contributions from Dad tend to irk me.
 

aliwood

Penmonkey Contrarian
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 21, 2011
Messages
8,581
Reaction score
1,563
Location
UK Cantina
Website
truckloadofart.wordpress.com
Well I guess I could try that first. ;)

How about we start you off?

Once upon a time there was a chicken and a parrot, and in the corner of the room was a coffee bomb.

Surely there's something there you can work with?

Now, *Gulp* I have finished my competition entry, and I've even read all the rules. Just need to send it in...

Aaaaargh!
 

slcboston

Pasture-ized
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 1, 2007
Messages
50,312
Reaction score
29,060
Location
Second Star To The Right
Someone set up us the bomb an IV for coffee for me?

Like so?


coffee-iv.jpg
 

Kricket

Chirp! Chirp!
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 30, 2010
Messages
4,409
Reaction score
733
Location
Colorado
I will concede that for the nine months that you carried mini-K, biologically most of the work was yours. But you were hardly alone in the effort of baby prep occurring outside the biological, and you certainly didn't conceive alone. (Unless mini-K was some sort of immaculate conception. In which case you've been holding back on us. :D)

Guys may not go through the physical changes pregnancy brings about, but it's not like we (and here I speak solely for those who are endeavoring to be good husbands/fathers) just sit around for nine months waiting for you to pop.

Certainly from here on out the workload really ought to be on an even footing.

:)


Sorry, I may have a small issue with the seemingly culturally ingrained idea here in the US that somehow Mom is where it starts and ends with parenting, so statements about how "I made him/her myself" that casually discount contributions from Dad tend to irk me.

Yes you are totally right and I understand your ire. Mr. Kricket thinks the same way and doesn't normally let me get away with such talk. :)

It is sad how our culture tends to brush dads aside. I'm very lucky to have such a good father for my children.
 

Gilroy Cullen

Handsome servant of a redhead
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Oct 26, 2011
Messages
4,567
Reaction score
677
Location
Deep in the State of Confusion
Website
swordsvspens.blogspot.com
It is sad how our culture tends to brush dads aside. I'm very lucky to have such a good father for my children.

With the divorce rate as high as it is in the US, combined with women referring to their baby daddy as just a "sperm donor," its no wonder why I don't have a permenant attachment/kids yet.
 

CobraMisfit

I want to be Comic Sans.
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Nov 5, 2010
Messages
8,549
Reaction score
2,747
Location
Recalculating....
I don't know what's going on this year, but I'm having a heck of a time getting new bees.

Seriously, what's up?
 

slcboston

Pasture-ized
Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Dec 1, 2007
Messages
50,312
Reaction score
29,060
Location
Second Star To The Right
I don't know what's going on this year, but I'm having a heck of a time getting new bees.

Seriously, what's up?

They're all at my place?


No, seriously. The trees along the edge of my lawn flowered, and yesterday there were so many bees that you could hear the buzzing. It sounded like that hum you get when you're too close to a power line.

If they hadn't all been honeybees, it would have freaked me out. But the fuzzy bees do not worry me.

Much.

:D
 

Fenika

Kind Benefactor
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jun 3, 2007
Messages
24,311
Reaction score
5,109
Location
-
A tribute to CactusWendy and I kick balls. I like :)

And native bees are active earlier than honey bees. NPR said.
 

Andelana

Secret Stick-Figure Superhero
Super Member
Registered
Joined
Jan 14, 2012
Messages
960
Reaction score
152
*comes up for air*

I didn't abandon yous, but work and stuff got busybusybusy! And my hot water heater broke. Cold showers suck. I'm hoping it's something simple, like a stray cat managed to turn down the thermostat, but I'm never that lucky...

Hope you're all well and keeping warm/cool! (delete as required)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.