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Thread: ParaDon Books Publishing / Amazon Book Clubs

  1. #126
    Oh, the humanity. Giant Baby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buffysquirrel View Post
    Can we sit on the pool edge and dangle our toes in the water?
    That'll require at least an assistant professorship. Please submit your resume to IW and await his reply.

    Quote Originally Posted by callalily61 View Post
    I'm doomed. I can't swim.
    You could have, you know. It's your publisher's ugly website that's robbed you of the ability to swim. I certainly hope you've learned your lesson now, you published author, you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Psychomacologist View Post
    But it's fun in here! *sulks*
    This thread is not about fun, this thread is about... things that are not fun. Please go insert 5 grammatical errors to each and every page of your WIP as penance. Thank you.
    Moral of the story: Soy yogurt is evil and don't cross picketlines. -Twizzle

  2. #127
    On a small world west of wonder LindaJeanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giant Baby View Post
    According to post #51, we must all be married, female English professors who eschew the use of caps. Everybody else, out of the pool!
    Aw, phooey.

    I have a computer science degree, a library science degree, and a boyfriend. Does that count?

    PS -- and I'm in favor of the Oxford comma!
    Last edited by LindaJeanne; 11-19-2011 at 04:09 AM.
    "A story told, that can't be real / yet somehow must reflect the truth we feel..." -- Black Sabbath / Ronnie James Dio

  3. #128
    The Sarcasm Fairy Psychomacologist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giant Baby View Post
    This thread is not about fun, this thread is about... things that are not fun. Please go insert 5 grammatical errors to each and every page of your WIP as penance. Thank you.
    What do you mean, "insert"?
    "Artists use lies to tell the truth."

  4. #129
    I want to be Comic Sans. CobraMisfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacAllister View Post
    For those of you playing along at home - IntelligentWriter is indeed posting from exactly the same IP that the person purporting to represent ParaDon was emailing me from, earlier today.

    Quelle surprise!

    What?! No WAY!

    *clutches pearls. collapses into lounge chair*
    Quote Originally Posted by 10trackers View Post
    I adore how our Cobra unapologetically loves odd stuff


    "On a scale of one to pyramid, it's definitely pyramid." - TotalBiscuit

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  5. #130
    It's a doggy dog world benbradley's Avatar
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    I knew I should have invested in corn...


    And far be it from me to second-guess The Owner of This Site, but I'd change that user subtitle title to "Sock Puppet, Tar And Feather At Will."
    Ello.
    NaNoWriMo 2014: Unknown.
    Tweets daily or so.

  6. #131
    practical experience, FTW
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giant Baby View Post
    That'll require at least an assistant professorship. Please submit your resume to IW and await his reply.
    You realise that requires me to go write a resume? at midnight?

  7. #132
    Elf on the Shelf is for amateurs AW Moderator Calla Lily's Avatar
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    *dons sackcloth and sits in corner, pouring ashes on head*

  8. #133
    needed a good laugh today Anaquana's Avatar
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  9. #134
    The Sarcasm Fairy Psychomacologist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CobraMisfit View Post
    What?! No WAY!

    *clutches pearls. collapses into lounge chair*
    I KNEW you were a pearls man, Cobra!

    BTW, do you have a resume? You need a resume to get into the thread. Quick, write one.
    "Artists use lies to tell the truth."

  10. #135
    I want to be Comic Sans. CobraMisfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IntelligentWriter View Post
    I just visited your publisher's website. Not attractive at all.

    I dunno, I'm kind of attracted to it. With it's binary codes and hyperlinks. My kind of gal, uh, website.
    Quote Originally Posted by 10trackers View Post
    I adore how our Cobra unapologetically loves odd stuff


    "On a scale of one to pyramid, it's definitely pyramid." - TotalBiscuit

    Books | Website | Chirps | Goodreads

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  11. #136
    but appreciated anyway... Unimportant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Friendly Frog View Post
    Please excuse my newbie question but I'm intrigued. Not many of the AW'ers here seem particularly surprised by this... childish comment of a supposedly professional firm. (It's so surreal that at first I thought it had to be a joke.) Now I've read quite a bit of the PA threads, but is this sort of behaviour so common in publishing that pretty much none of you bat an eyelid?
    The recent, similar response from Alleviate Publications was actually more childish, more unprofessional, and more entertaining.

  12. #137
    Elf on the Shelf is for amateurs AW Moderator Calla Lily's Avatar
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    Anyone NOT in favor of the Oxford comma must open a new thread and write in it 1000 times, "I promise to learn, grow, and punctuate more better." No copy-paste allowed! The Evil Nun Ruler hovers over your vulnerable knuckles like the Sword of Damocles.



    ETA: Must go offline for awhile. I expect to read much hilarity and hijinks upon my return!
    Last edited by Calla Lily; 11-19-2011 at 04:18 AM.

  13. #138
    Seen 'em come, seen 'em go Gravity's Avatar
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    I just realized Our Esteemed Yet Grammatically-Challenged Visitor didn't hang around to collect his lovely parting gifts.

    "Tell him what he won, Johnny!"

    "It's ... a BRAND NEW CAR!!" (cue the crowd screams)
    Cameron Bane

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    www.cameronbanebooks.com



  14. #139
    needed a good laugh today Anaquana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by callalily61 View Post
    Anyone NOT in favor of the Oxford comma must open a new thread and write in it 1000 times, "I promise to learn, grow, and punctuate more better." No copy-paste allowed! The Evil Nun Ruler hovers over your vulnerable knuckles like the Sword of Damocles.

    Oooh... you're evil!
    Twitter - Anaquana

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  15. #140
    I want to be Comic Sans. CobraMisfit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychomacologist View Post
    I KNEW you were a pearls man, Cobra!

    BTW, do you have a resume? You need a resume to get into the thread. Quick, write one.

    A resume? Oh carp.

    Um, I think I finished the Internet today.

    Oh, and I carried an English book in college. Wrote the number for a cute girl in it too. Then promptly misplaced the book. Took it as a sign and majored in math-heavy stuff instead.

    That work?
    Quote Originally Posted by 10trackers View Post
    I adore how our Cobra unapologetically loves odd stuff


    "On a scale of one to pyramid, it's definitely pyramid." - TotalBiscuit

    Books | Website | Chirps | Goodreads

    CM's Motivational Alert Code Color Chart


  16. #141
    Grumpy writer and editor Absolute Sage Gillhoughly's Avatar
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    Sheesh, I go away for a couple of hours and miss the whole pie fight. Not fair!

    IntelligentWriter, you've been busted by the head honcho of AW. We know you're no more Preston Browne than I'm Halle Berry, so move past that.

    The flounce lacked professionalism, but we can let that go.

    The main point is no one from ParaDon replied to any of the questions posed in my first post on the company.

    Lashing out on the Internet about how awful AW is won't do you any good. It will only show a continued lack of professionalism and chase off potential customers.

    Yours is not a "new" thing in publishing. Yours a remarkably old thing that is often attempted by failed writers. When they can't interest a legacy publisher in their work they bitch about the unfairness of it all and complain that agents won't give them a chance--anything but admit that their writing might need more work.

    So they open their own house. Larry Clopper of PublishAmerica (look up that rat hole on Google) did the same thing, bad grammar and all.

    You're inviting writers to send you 25.00 to read their stories. I'm sure there will be a few just dumb enough to do that. AW's job is to let the rest know it's a bad choice.

    Unless the questions are addressed--who are your editing staff and their qualifications, who are your cover artists, show samples of their work, what are your distribution channels, etc.--then we've little choice but to conclude you've indulged in rather a lot of exaggeration to make the company seem more than it is.

    But that reading fee and the poor grammar were the red flags that tipped off everyone.

    For what it's worth, self-publishing, thanks to free venues like Kindle and RARE success stories like Amanda Hocking, is losing its bad rep. Yes, it's still a haven for slush pile rejections, but others have made it work and turned a profit.

    I expect you've put considerable work into your website--with the exception of proofreading and grammar checks--and are spamming as many resource sites as you can find on Google.

    But the fact stands: you're an amateur with no real resume and expect others with even less experience to pay you 25.00 to read their work.

    Quit now and get a real job. You want to learn about publishing? Work for a publisher.

    But polish up those grammar skills. More than once it's been noted that English is apparently a second language for you. Fix that. Plenty of others have.

  17. #142
    Snakecakes cryaegm's Avatar
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    So, this is what happens when I play Batman: AC. I miss all the fun stuff.

    Damn it. *Goes back to page one to read it all.*

    ETA: Now, I wonder what else I've been missing these couple of days. All because I wanted to play Batman: AC. D:
    Last edited by cryaegm; 11-19-2011 at 04:32 AM.
    BUTTERFLIES' SCORN ~ YA UF - 24,800/70,000 + RESEARCH
    KIEGAN [working title] ~ YA Paranormal Romance(?) - 30k/50k
    BENEATH THE CLOUDS ~ YA Fantasy - 45,000/60,000(?)

  18. #143
    Feeling like an old timer rainsmom's Avatar
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    DAMN! I missed it.

    Can we implement some kind of auto text message system to notify us when something fun like this happens?
    Melissa C. Alexander

    Click for Joy!
    Click for Joy!
    Sunshine Books, 2003
    Winner "Best Training/Behavior Book 2003" by Dog Writers of America
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  19. #144
    The Sarcasm Fairy Psychomacologist's Avatar
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    We have one. It's called twitter
    "Artists use lies to tell the truth."

  20. #145
    Snakecakes cryaegm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psychomacologist View Post
    We have one. It's called twitter
    Yeah, that's kind of where I found out this was going on.

    I didn't realize it blew up into SIX pages.

    Damn you, Batman!
    BUTTERFLIES' SCORN ~ YA UF - 24,800/70,000 + RESEARCH
    KIEGAN [working title] ~ YA Paranormal Romance(?) - 30k/50k
    BENEATH THE CLOUDS ~ YA Fantasy - 45,000/60,000(?)

  21. #146
    Feeling like an old timer rainsmom's Avatar
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    I follow Mac, and that's where I heard about this. Did I just not check early enough, or is there another address I should be following?
    Melissa C. Alexander

    Click for Joy!
    Click for Joy!
    Sunshine Books, 2003
    Winner "Best Training/Behavior Book 2003" by Dog Writers of America
    Twitter: @M_C_Alexander
    Blog: http://www.reinventing-melissa.com

  22. #147
    Stealing your twiglets. Anninyn's Avatar
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    I was busy in Skyrim and all this happens while I'm trying to murder my way out of prison. Typical.

    Sadly, I cannot comment in this thread as I only have an A level in English Literature.

  23. #148
    starting over Marian Perera's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anninyn View Post
    Sadly, I cannot comment in this thread as I only have an A level in English Literature.
    Me too. I am the Ralph Wiggum of this thread.
    Historical romance : 2000 words.

  24. #149
    Teh doommobile, drivin' rite by you mscelina's Avatar
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    You know what's really disturbing? I'm too busy working in legitimate publishing these days to get in on a good scammer thrashing.

    Life as I know it is over.

    *sniff*

    *disclaimer--the Celina who created this post is in no way, shape or form the same Celina mentioned amidst all the grammatical errors on the ParaDon website. No way, no how.*
    Last edited by mscelina; 11-24-2011 at 12:05 AM.

  25. #150
    Super Browser triceretops's Avatar
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    Confession is good for the artistic soul, IW. You would be surprised how many publishers have been welcomed back here, and under new light and friendship.

    I once stood in a line of applicants for a job. My turn at the desk, the interviewer asked if I had any licenses or certificates. I told him I was a certified pre-delivery service technician . He wrote it down.

    When I turned to leave, a stunning female (Helen of Troy face--body by Michelangelo) put her hand on my shoulder and said, "How sweet that you deliver babies."

    I saw a profound wonderment and admiration in her eyes. I would have carried on and fibbed like a kid after snitching pudding, believing that this guise was worth at least a lunch date, but I snapped out it 'cause my soul was in dire need of an overhaul. I confessed, "I'm sorry, but I worked for Toyota, where I prepped new cars before they were sold."

    Her eyes crossed (beat), then she patted my shoulder. With a generous grin she said, "Then you bring little baby cars into the world. That's wonderful!"

    She forgave me. And I knew I would have been damned to forbidden zone if I hadn't told the truth about my real vocation.

    Confession is good for the soul.
    Last edited by triceretops; 11-19-2011 at 07:45 AM.

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