A Life of Crime and Chocolate

I second what HJ has just said.
I feel like of bad at times for making other people feel bad for us. Its not my intention, I just need to talk sometimes, and I find its easier talking over the interwebs than it is to people with faces (not that you all don't have faces, its just I can't see the emotions crossing them).
Please don't ever feel your input to a threat isn't important.
It is, and you are.

Zelenka, Rt drags doesn't it. Any other time 5 weeks would fly by, but with daily treatments its a huge drag. I hope you don't get too tired with it.

FM: what Jude said.

Z: good luck with radiation. And yes, don't let the kitty's distract you!

Helix: boy, I'd love your subconscious. Killer opening and ending. I don't care if it's a different work, those are precious. As for finishing, that's what this thread is for, to help us stay on track.

HJ: ((hugs)) life is hard sometimes. But we're here for you. And ... I would really love to hear about you writing....You're so good at supporting others, I think you need the return hugs in spades. Climb back in the saddle and...write (see, like my avatar, I confound the two disciplines again and again ).

Aww feeling all warm and fuzzy, thanks guys.

We were in the paper the other day, we were hoping for front page, but got page 9 instead.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/lifestyle/a/21220297/inspiring-and-special-thats-blake/

French Maiden said:

Aww feeling all warm and fuzzy, a is guys.

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You'll get covered with lint! *hands FM a clothes brush*

French Maiden said:

We were in the paper the other day, we were hoping for front page, but got page 9 instead.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/lifestyle/a/21220297/inspiring-and-special-thats-blake/

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What a darling he is.

To all those needing hugs...'s

French Maiden said:

Aww feeling all warm and fuzzy, a is guys.

We were in the paper the other day, we were hoping for front page, but got page 9 instead.
http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/lifestyle/a/21220297/inspiring-and-special-thats-blake/

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What a lovely picture of you both, French. Sounds like Blake has touched a good many lives.

That's lovely, French


I've been feeling rotten all day. I think I've picked up some kind of winter virus, as my stomach has been playing merry hell with me all day. I didn't go into work, but got nothing of use done, which annoys me more than being ill in the first place.

It's immensely frustrating to know that part of what feels weird in one's stomach is hunger, and that eating would make you feel much better, but to be unable to get anything down.

I have the utmost sympathy with those who suffer from chronic illnesses like this, or who have these kinds of feelings as side effects from other treatment. It saps all the joy out of life.

Anyway, off for an early night in the vain hope I'll feel better in the morning. It's my birthday on Friday, so I'd bloody well better be right by then!

Oh OSG, I hope you feel better soon. Tummy troubles are very unpleasant, and I understand your frustrations. Get better soon.

OSG - get well soon! And happy birthday on Friday (that's my friend's birthday as well as it happens).

Just been packing for Birmingham this weekend, the Sherlock Holmes convention. I'm planning on having a couple of really easy days and just going to a few of the talks, while the rest of the time will be for writing, without distractions and warring cats. They are having a steampunk / Victorian themed party on Sunday night which I might go to, only my outfit would be a mash up of the Victorian style stuff I used to wear for work in Prague. Everyone else's will probably be really well made and expensive. Good news is that my corset still fits though.

I have I think two more sessions of RT and then I'm done, and more to the point on Sunday I will be standing next to Benedict Cumberbatch, so looking forward to that.

And Glasgow University got back to me about studying Czech. I've got to take at least one other language if I'm going to do that so I'm thinking German, with side classes in Russian or History maybe. I've emailed them back though to check if my experience and qualifications would get me into the program or not. It's also not as expensive as I had thought (although still expensive), which is good.

That was a sweet article, French, and a lovely photo of the two of you. Thank you for sharing. All best wishes and thoughts your way.

Z, have a great time at your convention -- sounds fabulous!

OSG, feel better soon!

And HJ, I still think you have a story to tell in your life with your kids. They are so funny, and the stories you share on FB are hilarious. You could do themed chapters or something -- like clothing, sports, school, big sisters, etc. I'd buy it!

Well, OSG, happy birthday on Friday. And I hope you're well by then, or more importantly, writing.

Oh, my, FM. What a nice picture of you and your son. My heart bleeds...as I'm sure yours does daily.

Z, hey, great news about school. Always one of my favorite refuges. And enjoy the convention.

HJ: you're making me unbelievably sad for you. Closing doors is always just sad. But you need to decide what is right for you. Just....((hugs)).

HJ: Writing's hard and almost impossible if it's for someone else and not oneself.

And I agree, the rejection really really hurts.

So, incubate and when you're ready, we'll cheer you on.

If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know.... and I'll be happy to accommodate.

Hey, thanks for the good wishes. Feeling a bit better today, although I did make the mistake of checking my work email just now. Turns out I was right and they can't do anything for themselves...

HJ, I think you're doing the right thing. There's no sense forcing it if it's not making you happy. You give a huge amount to other people - so this time, do what's right for you.

heyjude said:

How sweet!



Thanks. That was very sweet. There is no writing to speak of here and I'm pretty sure I'm done with it. It's sad, but there's enough Other Life to keep me plenty busy and happy.

Onesecond, feel better!

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I have wondered so many times in the last three years if this is the case with me. It's been my dream for most of my life. My first recollection was being 11 and wanting it more than anything else. Then life and people came along to tell me I couldn't make a living at it. So I've been making Or not making depending on the time in my life, a living at other things and it still makes me miserable.

I hope you can come back to it. Like you've told me so many times before. Sometimes this is a time in our lives when we can't write or get to it. I hope that's true for you too. I believe in you.

heyjude said:

Thanks, ladies.

Onu, I promise not to actually close any doors. I just... ugh. All that rejection after such a buildup took its toll. And there are people close to me always poking at me--write anything, come on, you can do it, and instead of encouraging, it's sapping my strength. Does that make sense? Maybe not, but it's exhausting, trying to live up to someone else's expectations. For now I'll just entertain on Facebook.

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Sweetheart, you darling wonderful person, you. May I make a suggestion? Don't tell anyone you're writing. I hate the pressure that comes from well-meaning others who want to cheer me on. I feel like I am doing it for them. Then the creativity stops.

Keep a journal for yourself. And if you haven't read "Writing down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg, I'd like to encourage you to do so. It's a soul searching journey and is more like therapy than anything I've ever engaged in.

Remember we adore you, love you and look up to you. No one here expect you to do anything other than take care of yourself.

heyjude said:

Thanks, ladies.

Onu, I promise not to actually close any doors. I just... ugh. All that rejection after such a buildup took its toll. And there are people close to me always poking at me--write anything, come on, you can do it, and instead of encouraging, it's sapping my strength. Does that make sense? Maybe not, but it's exhausting, trying to live up to someone else's expectations. For now I'll just entertain on Facebook.

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Makes absolute sense, HJ. I was feeling kind of the same way up until lately. You'll know in your heart if or when it's right for you to get back into it. And you more than live up to expectations so far as I'm concerned.

Me, I am exhausted today. Woke up to another threatening phonecall on my voicemail from that worm at Glasgow City Council. Had to get another plumber in for a second opinion but I now feel much better about humanity - the plumbing firm I found were amazing. The plumber not only got me loads of extra paperwork to give to the council if they start moaning, offered to call them and tell them to back off and didn't charge for parts, just the call out fee, but he even gave me a lift to the hospital in his van after he was finished. Got there and the girls at radiotherapy noticed I was stressed out and so put in an official referral to Macmillan, the cancer charity, when I told them what had happened. The lady from Macmillan tried calling this guy and still we couldn't get a hold of him, so she dug into her own contacts and got through to his boss and has put in an informal complaint about him. Spoke to her myself and she's going to 'have a word' when they figure out where he keeps disappearing to that he can't answer his phone. But she's assured me that if the work is done, they won't bother me any more and even if he calls again, to ignore him and go to her directly.

Also found out I probably will be able to get into uni and have been invited to an open day in April to talk to the staff, and the lady I've been emailing is even making me up a little dossier of info to take with me.

And... tomorrow is my last radiotherapy session!

HJ, there's a fine line between encouragement and nagging, between support and pressure. Or is that two fine lines? And do two fine lines make one thick line? I wish I hadn't started this. Anyway, what I meant to say pretty much what everyone else has said -- you've got to do what's right for you.

Zelenka, that man from the council sounds like a right arsehole. I hope he gets the telling off he deserves. More importantly, I hope he knocks off his lousy behaviour.

Great news on the radiotherapy, Z. I bet you'll be glad that's over.

And seconding Helix. Here's hoping that idiot at the council gets what's coming to him.

Congrats on the last day of RT Zelenka.

Helix said:

Hugs, French Maiden and Blake. Hugs to Zelenka. In fact, hugs to everyone who needs them.

And now I'm about to say something so incredibly trivial that I'm embarrassed to mention it at this time. I was stuck on a plot point. What I had was serviceable, but it didn't have oomph. So I wrote down the details, played with them for a while and then did something else, hoping my subconscious would sort it out while my conscious was occupied with other matters.

Well, my subconscious did come up with something. It came up with killer opening and closing scenes to a completely different story. My subconscious is going to get a severe talking to.

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I hope no one minds a pop in her from the cozy world. My new start, Red Light on the Green Line, (references to the Washington, D.C. train system line color coding) has a great opening chapter, the protagonist stops a robbery and takes a fist to the face, but why she was in the bar was the problem. The next three chapters, along with a blank chapter, were smooth, but no reason for her to be in the bar.

Until my subconscious awoke me at one am with a good solution. Fine, but it did not write well. So Beasty, the subconscious, did it again. Better, but I was not writing a spy novel. Third one am awaking did it. A reason she was in the bar, and how the arc from first chapter to chapter 25 works.

Tools by the bed include a laptop, a small dictation recorder, a steno pad with pen and in the hall an easel with a large roll of paper to write on. Redundancy is the mark of a geek. Losing the one am call from Beasty is something I do not pleasure.

Hey, welcome I-P-P!

Well, lunch seems to be staying where it should (eugh, too much information!) so I'm taking that as a good sign...