Buy books by AWers

If this site is helpful to you,
Please consider a voluntary subscription to defray ongoing expenses.


 

Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write

Page 1 of 44 12345671126 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 1085
  1. #1
    Has a few recurring issues kborsden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Where opinions have a distinct aroma.
    Posts
    5,973

    The Triolet Trail

    The triolet is somewhat of a rarity, maybe because some incorrectly see it as little more than a shorter (and therefore also easier) version of a pantoum or villanelle. This poem and thread sparked an idea - we've had the Haiku Chain (many of them), the Cinquain Train (2 I know of), now I'd like to suggest the first Triolet Trail.

    A triolet is a poem consisting of two stanzas of four verses each (8 verses in total) - however the metric count is independent of the form, so tetrameter, pentameter, hexameter, heptameter, octameter etc all acceptable, even in alternation or each verse its own - but anything above hexameter would be rather imposing to come across and quite a challenge to write (especially, say, octameter). The tri (3) in the triolet is reference to the first verse appearing 3 times: verse 1, verse 4, verse 7. Additionally the 2nd verse is repeated also as the final verse and the rhyme scheme is strict ABAA ABAB. Sometimes stanzas are presented as a single merged stanza - as I suggest we do in this thread.

    So as to function for a game - the 2nd verse which is repeated as the last verse of every triolet will function as the first verse of the following triolet - a visual diagram to elucidate:

    (number is the verse in repetition, x is non repeated verse, letter is rhyme)

    1A
    2B
    xA
    1A
    xA
    xB
    1A
    2B

    Every new post will use verse 2 of the previous poem as verse 1... does that make sense?

    _________________________________

    As a show of good will - and because I just have to, I'll go first:


    For a time, watching the willow,
    enveloped in its obscure gloves:
    green snakes that catch the soft billows
    for a time. Watching the willow
    in sights caught close in cloud pillows
    as precedents of lucid love --
    for, a time, watching the willow
    enveloped in its obscured gloves.


    _________________________________

    Your line to start: enveloped in its obscure gloves


    Extra Information: Anyone feeling suitably inspired by this thread or thinking of exploring the possibilities for publishing repeating forms such as triolet, pantoum, villanelle, rondeau, sestina etc should pop over to Tilt-a-Whirl magazine. As can be expected - polish your offering, then polish again -- and make sure to read the guidelines thoroughly before you submit. They even have a cheat sheet to help you tighten up your piece prior to submission.

    note: tilt-a-whirl magazine closed its doors in August 2014, but is still available as an archived resource.
    Last edited by kborsden; 02-18-2016 at 10:06 AM.
    Kieran Borsden
    "to be born Welsh, is to be born--not with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with song in your heart, and poetry in your soul"



    -->Read Me


    Got to write an Englyn or 2

  2. #2
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Willamette Valley, Oregon
    Posts
    26,560
    Enveloped in its obscure gloves! Kei, that was just a plain mean prompt. If I take any more time to fix this someone else will beat me to it.

    Enveloped in its obscure gloves,
    protected from this driving rain,
    the gentle hand extends in love,
    enveloped, in its obscure gloves.
    It softly holds a wounded dove.
    Will it then try to ease the pain,
    enveloped in its obscure gloves?
    Protected, from this driving rain.
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. – Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  3. #3
    Has a few recurring issues kborsden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Where opinions have a distinct aroma.
    Posts
    5,973
    Go Dave!
    Last edited by kborsden; 11-30-2011 at 07:07 PM.
    Kieran Borsden
    "to be born Welsh, is to be born--not with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with song in your heart, and poetry in your soul"



    -->Read Me


    Got to write an Englyn or 2

  4. #4
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Willamette Valley, Oregon
    Posts
    26,560
    This is not autobiographical (at least not recent)

    Inside the heart and mind alone,
    well hidden from your prying eyes—
    a sin for which I can't atone.
    Inside the heart and mind alone
    where guilt weighs heavy on my bones,
    a pocket of deceit and lies.
    Inside the heart and mind, alone,
    well hidden, from your prying eyes.
    Last edited by CDSinex; 08-10-2011 at 06:06 PM.
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. – Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  5. #5
    Has a few recurring issues kborsden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Where opinions have a distinct aroma.
    Posts
    5,973
    Well hidden from your prying eyes,
    the world turns inward on itself.
    I shy away my face and hide
    well hidden; from your prying eyes,
    I sense in life heaven's demise.
    Civil unrest placed on the shelf –
    well hidden from your prying eyes.
    The world turns inward on itself.
    Kieran Borsden
    "to be born Welsh, is to be born--not with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with song in your heart, and poetry in your soul"



    -->Read Me


    Got to write an Englyn or 2

  6. #6
    Pound cake. Perscribo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,303
    The world turns. Inward on itself,
    a leaf folds in mute tragedy.
    Up close, in front row, sits an elf.
    The world turns inward. On itself,
    it reflects on the greed and pelf.
    The maestro ends the symphony.
    The world turns inward on itself.
    A leaf folds in mute tragedy.
    __________________



    Poetry classics. Masterfully kindled.

  7. #7
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Willamette Valley, Oregon
    Posts
    26,560
    A leaf folds in mute tragedy,
    with the threat of fall looming near.
    As the wary geese look to see
    a leaf, folds, in mute tragedy.
    They have a warmer place to be
    the death of summer's what they fear.
    A leaf folds in mute tragedy,
    with the threat of fall looming near
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. – Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  8. #8
    Has a few recurring issues kborsden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Where opinions have a distinct aroma.
    Posts
    5,973
    -- With the threat of fall looming near -- not the easiest... and I'm not entirely happy with the result, but it seems to work:

    With the threat of fall looming near,
    green trees seem dryad fallacy.
    I wipe away a solemn tear
    with the threat of fall; looming near
    the summer’s shadow, pink is clear:
    forgotten childhood atrophy
    with the threat of fall. Looming, near
    green trees seem dryad fallacy.
    Last edited by kborsden; 08-11-2011 at 03:42 AM.
    Kieran Borsden
    "to be born Welsh, is to be born--not with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with song in your heart, and poetry in your soul"



    -->Read Me


    Got to write an Englyn or 2

  9. #9
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Willamette Valley, Oregon
    Posts
    26,560
    Quote Originally Posted by kborsden View Post
    -- With the threat of fall looming near -- not the easiest...
    Easier than, "Enveloped in its obscure gloves," you have to admit.

    As they say, turn about is fair play.
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. – Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  10. #10
    Has a few recurring issues kborsden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Where opinions have a distinct aroma.
    Posts
    5,973
    You're a vindictive swine, Dave,

    but fair is fair -- what do you think of 'green trees seem dryad fallacy'?
    Kieran Borsden
    "to be born Welsh, is to be born--not with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with song in your heart, and poetry in your soul"



    -->Read Me


    Got to write an Englyn or 2

  11. #11
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Willamette Valley, Oregon
    Posts
    26,560
    Quote Originally Posted by kborsden View Post
    what do you think of 'green trees seem dryad fallacy'?
    I think I might leave it for someone else, although I am writing down words that rhyme with fallacy.
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. – Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  12. #12
    Pound cake. Perscribo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,303
    Quote Originally Posted by CDSinex View Post
    As they say, turn about is fair play.
    Quote Originally Posted by kborsden View Post
    You're a vindictive swine, Dave,
    Well, if this ain't the pot and the kettle?, while there I was stuck with the last three -elf words on the shelf.
    __________________



    Poetry classics. Masterfully kindled.

  13. #13
    Has a few recurring issues kborsden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Where opinions have a distinct aroma.
    Posts
    5,973
    Quote Originally Posted by Perscribo View Post
    Well, if this ain't the pot and the kettle?, while there I was stuck with the last three -elf words on the shelf.
    Stuck on the shelf? I hate it when that happens.
    Kieran Borsden
    "to be born Welsh, is to be born--not with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with song in your heart, and poetry in your soul"



    -->Read Me


    Got to write an Englyn or 2

  14. #14
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Willamette Valley, Oregon
    Posts
    26,560
    Quote Originally Posted by kborsden View Post
    Stuck on the shelf? I hate it when that happens.
    Quote Originally Posted by Perscribo View Post
    Well, if this ain't the pot and the kettle?, while there I was stuck with the last three -elf words on the shelf.
    Ladies, gentlemen, poems please, poems.
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. – Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  15. #15
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Willamette Valley, Oregon
    Posts
    26,560

    Talking

    Green trees seem dryad fallacy,
    the mighty woodsman smells like sweat
    as Artemis prepares to flee.
    Green trees seem dryad. Fallacy
    compounded, the stench? Quite ghastly!
    Need to go far as I can get,
    green trees –seem dryad fallacy.
    The mighty woodsman, smells like sweat


    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. – Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  16. #16
    Has a few recurring issues kborsden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Where opinions have a distinct aroma.
    Posts
    5,973
    -- reference to the famous Monty Python sketch - could never do that sketch justice

    The mighty woodsman smells like sweat,
    he works all night and sleeps all day,
    and those who have met him have said,
    'the mighty woodsman smells'. Like sweat
    dries, the dream fades, and he sells pets
    in truth - molded from mental clay,
    the mighty woodsman; smells like sweat
    and works all night. He sleeps all day...
    Last edited by kborsden; 08-11-2011 at 01:45 PM.
    Kieran Borsden
    "to be born Welsh, is to be born--not with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with song in your heart, and poetry in your soul"



    -->Read Me


    Got to write an Englyn or 2

  17. #17
    Pound cake. Perscribo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,303
    Decided to use your L2 instead of L8, Kie. (they didn't exactly match..and of course the former was easier!)

    He works all night and sleeps all day
    behind the shades. The sun is barred,
    as is the crowd, to mock the way
    he works all night (and sleeps). All day
    he hides from glare that beams his way,
    "Why crash at the punch of a card?
    He works all night--and sleeps!" All day,
    behind the shades, the sun is barred.
    Last edited by Perscribo; 08-11-2011 at 04:06 PM.
    __________________



    Poetry classics. Masterfully kindled.

  18. #18
    Blood? Ha! No, that's red ink. celestialwolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    East Point, GA
    Posts
    167
    Can we say challenging?! I think I did this right.


    Behind the shades. The sun is barred,
    Keeping the vampire safe from harm,
    Protecting his skin from getting charred,
    Behind the shades. The sun is barred,
    Too easy do the sun’s rays bombard,
    For the sun is immune to his charm,
    Behind the shades. The sun is barred,
    Keeping the vampire safe from harm,

  19. #19
    Has a few recurring issues kborsden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Where opinions have a distinct aroma.
    Posts
    5,973
    Quote Originally Posted by Perscribo View Post
    Decided to use your L2 instead of L8, Kie. (they didn't exactly match..and of course the former was easier!)
    I know it says in the instructions to use verse 2 - but in all fairness, I don't think it really matters as liberties are taken with punctuation in any if not all the repeated lines.

    Not the best offering:

    Keeping the vampire safe from harm,
    the coffin closed. Until sunrise,
    Van Helsing waves his slaying arm,
    keeping the vampire. Safe from harm
    the virgin wanders homeward, calmed.
    No more warm blood, but bottled prize
    keeping the vampire safe from harm,
    the coffin closed until sunrise.
    Last edited by kborsden; 08-12-2011 at 04:45 AM.
    Kieran Borsden
    "to be born Welsh, is to be born--not with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with song in your heart, and poetry in your soul"



    -->Read Me


    Got to write an Englyn or 2

  20. #20
    practical experience, FTW B.D. Eyeslie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Where the dirty water has all been cleaned.
    Posts
    1,262
    The coffin closed until sunrise,
    As are the Velvet parlor shades.
    Anticipating my surprise.
    The coffin closed until sunrise.
    Stay indoors or say your goodbyes.
    Throughout the night, my rounds are made.
    The coffin closed until sunrise,
    As are the Velvet parlor shades.

  21. #21
    Has a few recurring issues kborsden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Where opinions have a distinct aroma.
    Posts
    5,973
    Quote Originally Posted by B.D. Eyeslie View Post
    As are the Velvet parlor shades.
    Had to rearrange, setting 'are' to the end of the line - as I can't think of any sentence construct ever starting with 'as are...'- what with it being the latter part of an analogy:

    As the Velvet parlor shades are,
    so is the canvas wallpaper -
    lost to blooming vines; flowered stars
    as the velvet. parlor shades are
    pastels and hues in views afar.
    In as fast as I can caper -
    as the Velvet parlor - shades are.
    So, is the canvas wallpaper?
    Last edited by kborsden; 08-12-2011 at 04:09 AM.
    Kieran Borsden
    "to be born Welsh, is to be born--not with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with song in your heart, and poetry in your soul"



    -->Read Me


    Got to write an Englyn or 2

  22. #22
    Hmmmm... JohnL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    466
    So, is the canvas wallpaper?
    Peel away the topmost layer,
    discern how each remnant tapers.
    So, is the canvas wallpaper?
    You’ll need buckets and a scraper
    to capture laughter and lost prayers.
    So, is the canvas wallpaper?
    Peel away the topmost layer.

  23. #23
    Has a few recurring issues kborsden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Where opinions have a distinct aroma.
    Posts
    5,973
    Peel away the topmost layer;
    scoop the stratosphere. With a spoon,
    jam is stacked in vapid prayers.
    Peel away the topmost – layer
    the bleak cloth of skies gone greyer,
    and see winter's harvested moon
    peel away. The topmost layer
    scooped – the stratosphere with a spoon.
    Last edited by kborsden; 08-12-2011 at 12:11 PM.
    Kieran Borsden
    "to be born Welsh, is to be born--not with a silver spoon in your mouth, but with song in your heart, and poetry in your soul"



    -->Read Me


    Got to write an Englyn or 2

  24. #24
    practical experience, FTW B.D. Eyeslie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Where the dirty water has all been cleaned.
    Posts
    1,262
    Scooped the stratosphere with a spoon.
    The ozone layer melts wih grace.
    None fares well or will be immune.
    Scooped the stratosphere with a spoon.
    Kiddie cake in the festive room.
    The Flintstone layer lights her face.
    Scooped the stratosphere with a spoon.
    The ozone layer melts with grace.
    Last edited by B.D. Eyeslie; 08-12-2011 at 06:24 AM.

  25. #25
    give it to me straight Brandt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    East Texas
    Posts
    1,403
    The ozone layer melts with grace,
    this vapor shroud of filtered light,
    recedes in all its cosmic haste.
    The ozone layer melts with grace.
    Far be it from the loud debates
    to find the cure for space's blight.
    The ozone layer melts with grace,
    this vapor shroud of filtered light.
    Last edited by Brandt; 08-12-2011 at 09:58 PM.

Page 1 of 44 12345671126 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Custom Search