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Thread: Teens Writing for Teens, the 5th

  1. #21576
    practical experience, FTW Ivi942's Avatar
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    It's set somewhere in the US >_> ...Maybe I should just find a state where that is allowed and set it there... (And it's not a novel)

    Also, perhaps someone can have a look at my drawing and give me some advice? It's starting to look like a rainbow .__.
    Last edited by Ivi942; 01-03-2012 at 08:08 PM.
    Currently working on:
    Coffee and Tattoos(temp. name)
    Angels and Demons(more temp. names!)
    The short with the vampires(this one's obvious)

  2. #21577
    I'm a monster. I'm a saint. Missus Akasha's Avatar
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    I don't think the courts would allow that unless the step-mom adopted him after she married his father. Even though I think there would need to be substantial evidence showing that he should be with his step-mom and not with his flesh-and-blood father.

    Now if his step-mom was his real mother then most likely he would end up with her because family courts normally favor the mom unless evidence states otherwise.

    I'll look at your drawing, Ivi.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Andre Gide
    The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick Dennis
    I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

  3. #21578
    You Snooze, You Lose! Allaboutwords13's Avatar
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    Wuick (weird/quick :P) question - A woman in my WIP is my MC's mum's best friend, and my MC calls her aunt, but I also make mentions of her real name which is Sharon, so is it okay to shift from 'her aunt said..." to 'sharon said....' ever so often? Or is it better just to stick with one or the other?
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  4. #21579
    practical experience, FTW Ivi942's Avatar
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    Hmm... and if he asked to be with his mom instead? I think they at least let the child express his opinion... Eh, if all else fails, I'll just say they came into an agreement without the court. I don't think his father would be too upset about Ethan moving away.

    And here's the drawing - http://i409.photobucket.com/albums/p...vi_1/dream.png
    Currently working on:
    Coffee and Tattoos(temp. name)
    Angels and Demons(more temp. names!)
    The short with the vampires(this one's obvious)

  5. #21580
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missus Akasha View Post
    The 1920s is a really good era. However, I am a 1940s gal myself.

    I just replied to a stereotype thread in YA forum. I have five of them in my story. Is it really that bad comparing a black character's skin to food and beverages? I mean my boyfriend is white and one night we were watching Maury and he looked to me and said, "Your skin reminds me of a dark mocha with swirls of caramel." And I was like, "Awesome. Now I am hungry."

    Also is it really that bad if one of your MC's parents are dead or single? Granted, there has been a rise of this particular trope in YA. My MC and her twin's mother died from childbirth. Maybe I should change this though. Hm.

    BTW, good morning, everyone!
    I would love to be able to write about the 40s (saw a great film, War Bride the other day ) but I don't really know that much about that time period lol

    I don't think it's bad - I mean, in real life a lot of people have divorced/one parent/ singe parent families; so it is just a reflection on what is happening in reality.

    Do you think a looping story is ok - where the beginning is also the ending? Like you can actually read the story as being told back to front?
    I don't really know how to explain it lol - my WIP is weird.
    I'd really appreciate any help with my query, if anyone has time, here it is: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=296292

  6. #21581
    I'm a monster. I'm a saint. Missus Akasha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allaboutwords13 View Post
    Wuick (weird/quick :P) question - A woman in my WIP is my MC's mum's best friend, and my MC calls her aunt, but I also make mentions of her real name which is Sharon, so is it okay to shift from 'her aunt said..." to 'sharon said....' ever so often? Or is it better just to stick with one or the other?
    I think if you clarify earlier in the story that Sharon is the MC's mother's best friend and the MC calls her aunt then you can switch between 'Sharon said' and 'aunt said.' Or you can use Aunt Sharon. Ivi, depending on the age of the child, family court does ask the child who do they prefer to be with. But just because they ask for the child's opinion doesn't mean that it is ultimately the child's decision.

    Their opinion could have been influenced by manipulation of a particular parent. So normally it's taken into account, but doesn't mold the ultimate ruling unless there is standing evidence that supports the child's opinion. Granted, this is realistically. However, I'm sure you can alter the details to suit your character.

    As for your picture, it does look a bit like a rainbow but I think it's freaking awesome!

    Emma, I am a little confused as to what a looping story is, lol.
    Last edited by Missus Akasha; 01-03-2012 at 08:45 PM.

    WIPs:
    We Must Be Killers: Batman and Kick Ass meets Dexter meets Count of Monte Cristo



    Quote Originally Posted by Andre Gide
    The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick Dennis
    I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

  7. #21582
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    Aah. I'm trying to say the idea without saying my whole plot haha - it is too long to type out.

    Say at the beginning there was someone murdered, but the rest of the story follows their life as if nothing ever happened. And then at the end she is murdered; the beginning and the end point are the same. The story starts with the end, I suppose it would be.

    Oh! And I have another (less confusing, I promise!) question for you guys. If any of you live in England and have been to America, or live in America and have been to England could you share what you thought was different about those two places?

    I live in England, but my novel is half-set in America and I have totally no idea what it is like there lol
    I'd really appreciate any help with my query, if anyone has time, here it is: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=296292

  8. #21583
    practical experience, FTW Ivi942's Avatar
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    Is a looping story a story that is told backwards, or one where you show a scene near the ending of the story at the beginning of the book, and then start from the beginning of the story again? The only example I can think of right now is Fight Club...

    ETA: Yeah, it's a totally valid way to tell a story. I think there were a few threads about it in the forums... You have to use an intriguing scene at the start though, so that the reader would be interested in how the story came to that point.
    Last edited by Ivi942; 01-03-2012 at 08:50 PM.
    Currently working on:
    Coffee and Tattoos(temp. name)
    Angels and Demons(more temp. names!)
    The short with the vampires(this one's obvious)

  9. #21584
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivi942 View Post
    Is a looping story a story that is told backwards, or one where you show a scene near the ending of the story at the beginning of the book, and then start from the beginning of the story again? The only example I can think of right now is Fight Club...

    ETA: Yeah, it's a totally valid way to tell a story. I think there were a few threads about it in the forums... You have to use an intriguing scene at the start though, so that the reader would be interested in how the story came to that point.
    Mine is kind of both of those views of looping - the last scene can be kind of seen as either the ending; or part of the beginning

    Yeah, the first scene is my MC in a coma listening to them try and save her - and the last concludes in her being run over so I hope that it will be intriguing

    Going to go look at these threads now

    How are you all?
    I'd really appreciate any help with my query, if anyone has time, here it is: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=296292

  10. #21585
    You Snooze, You Lose! Allaboutwords13's Avatar
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    Thanks Missus. That clears that up


    ETA: I'm good thanks, Emma. How are you?
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  11. #21586
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missus Akasha View Post
    Also is it really that bad if one of your MC's parents are dead or single? Granted, there has been a rise of this particular trope in YA. My MC and her twin's mother died from childbirth. Maybe I should change this though. Hm.

    BTW, good morning, everyone!
    It's not bad necessarily. Is it so prevalent in YA that it's almost a cliche, yes. I think the bigger problem is something either A) Happens to the remaining parent or, B) Remaining parent doesn't pay attention to the MC. Also known as Missing Parents Syndrome.

    If it happens, I prefer there to be a plot reason for it but I wouldn't hold it against a book. In CT, neither of the MCs have any parents but there's a plot reason for that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivi942 View Post
    Oh, guys, I was wondering whether this would be legal... It sounds fine, but you never know. Ethan's mom died when he was 5 or so, then some time later, his father remarried. Then they got divorced. Would it be logical if the court decided that Ethan should live with his step-mom? His father and his step-mom were married for, uh... 6-8 years?
    Quote Originally Posted by Missus Akasha View Post
    I don't think the courts would allow that unless the step-mom adopted him after she married his father. Even though I think there would need to be substantial evidence showing that he should be with his step-mom and not with his flesh-and-blood father.
    ^^ What she said. If he also didn't have any close blood relations, that might make it more likely as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by Allaboutwords13 View Post
    Wuick (weird/quick :P) question - A woman in my WIP is my MC's mum's best friend, and my MC calls her aunt, but I also make mentions of her real name which is Sharon, so is it okay to shift from 'her aunt said..." to 'sharon said....' ever so often? Or is it better just to stick with one or the other?
    I would say that's fine as long as you use her real name often enough that the reader doesn't get to a 'sharon said...' and go "Who's Sharon??"

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivi942 View Post
    Is a looping story a story that is told backwards, or one where you show a scene near the ending of the story at the beginning of the book, and then start from the beginning of the story again? The only example I can think of right now is Fight Club...
    You mean like Twilight? Done right, that style can be great. Done wrong, and it's a lot like starting with a dramatic dream. When the dream ends and the real story begins, the tension disappears and the reader is left hanging trying to figure out what's going on. I have a general dislike of books written that way, though. To me that's a bit of a gimmick. Blame Twilight.
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  12. #21587
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    I'm good thanks

    Except... back to school tomorrow. *sobs quietly*
    I can't wait to start at a college in September ;D
    I'd really appreciate any help with my query, if anyone has time, here it is: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=296292

  13. #21588
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    You mean like Twilight? Done right, that style can be great. Done wrong, and it's a lot like starting with a dramatic dream. When the dream ends and the real story begins, the tension disappears and the reader is left hanging trying to figure out what's going on. I have a general dislike of books written that way, though. To me that's a bit of a gimmick. Blame Twilight.

    I haven't actually read Twilight in ages lol
    I think it is slightly different to that - the last scene is before the beginning; the readers don't know that it is told in this misshaped way until the end. But I totally get what you're saying, how do you think I can avoid it coming across gimmicky?
    I'd really appreciate any help with my query, if anyone has time, here it is: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=296292

  14. #21589
    Potterhead Gleek lisalulu09's Avatar
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    I've just read one of the novel excerepts I need to hand in next week. I personally don't think it's bad or anything, even though people said there was too much converstation (it reads like a radio drama, they said). I don't know how I'm going to edit it. :/
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  15. #21590
    I'm a monster. I'm a saint. Missus Akasha's Avatar
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    That's true, Horserider. There are a lot of YA novels out there where parents are alive and well, but missing out on what the heck is going on in their kid's life.

    Emma, that sounds like Menace 2 Society. The character ends up dying, but tells a story to show how they ended up dying. Great technique.

    No problem, Kat!

    WIPs:
    We Must Be Killers: Batman and Kick Ass meets Dexter meets Count of Monte Cristo



    Quote Originally Posted by Andre Gide
    The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick Dennis
    I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

  16. #21591
    You Snooze, You Lose! Allaboutwords13's Avatar
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    FYI... I love Twilight. Just saying. xD Although, unlike many fans, I can handle shit said about the series. Because I know nothing can change my opinion. RAWR! HAHA
    Also because I know it has many flaws, and it's not perfect, and there are many other books out there much better. I just like the story.
    The same with Harry Potter.
    Hmmm anyone else heard of the duo 'The Civil Wars'? I got their album yesterday and I'm so in love <3
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  17. #21592
    practical experience, FTW Ivi942's Avatar
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    Thanks Missus C: The scene in the picture is happening in a dream, so that's why it's so rainbowy...

    Although if she DID adopt Ethan after marrying his father, would it make her more acceptable as a guardian? Is it common to adopt children after marrying their parents, anyway? I don't know much about these things...

    ETA: Oh, you mean like the beginning of New Moon where Bella is running to save Edward? It's the only book I've read... I'm kind of a strange case when it comes to Twilight xD I love to make fun of it, but I have a friend who's a fan of the series, and we somehow manage to have conversations about it without getting angry at each other. Helps that she doesn't swoon over Edward...
    Last edited by Ivi942; 01-03-2012 at 09:20 PM.
    Currently working on:
    Coffee and Tattoos(temp. name)
    Angels and Demons(more temp. names!)
    The short with the vampires(this one's obvious)

  18. #21593
    I'm a monster. I'm a saint. Missus Akasha's Avatar
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    I am not a Twilight fan at all, but my mom drags me to the movies each time and the movies aren't that bad. Sidestep the love triangle (I always root for the other guy) and the overwhelming amount of romance (too much romance makes my cynical senses tingle), the movies are pretty cool.

    Ivi, my parents have never been divorced and remarried, but several of my friends' have. Adopting a stepchild after marriage is common I would assume. I think it's more of a precaution if the blood-related parent were to die that the child doesn't get catered off to another family member because the stepparent didn't adopt the child therefore has no parental rights towards the child.

    Just because a stepparent is married to the blood-related parent doesn't mean that they legally have parental rights over the child in question. By the parent's permission, yes. But if the parent is dead, that's another story...
    Last edited by Missus Akasha; 01-03-2012 at 09:23 PM.

    WIPs:
    We Must Be Killers: Batman and Kick Ass meets Dexter meets Count of Monte Cristo



    Quote Originally Posted by Andre Gide
    The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick Dennis
    I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

  19. #21594
    practical experience, FTW Ivi942's Avatar
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    You rooted for Jacob(the werewolf best friend), then? I rooted for him too, if only because he was the nicer one :/ And I hate the cold... Jesus, who'd want to date a guy that you can use to cool your drinks?
    Currently working on:
    Coffee and Tattoos(temp. name)
    Angels and Demons(more temp. names!)
    The short with the vampires(this one's obvious)

  20. #21595
    Potterhead Gleek lisalulu09's Avatar
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    It is so tempting to leave the story as it is and hand it in, and just sort out the formatting. *pouts*
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    Untitled - MG Fantasy - Resting
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  21. #21596
    I'm a monster. I'm a saint. Missus Akasha's Avatar
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    I honestly thought Jacob was a douche, but Bella led him on pretty badly and he's a teen who just discovered he is from a werewolf lineage. So yeah, he is pretty aggressive, but it made sense for his particular situation.

    I really didn't mind Edward as a character EXCEPT for the fact that he basically stalked Bella prior to them even having a proper conversation and broke into her house and watched her while she slept. That don't cut it with me at all. If my boyfriend did something like that, he would have gotten stabbed with the steak knife I keep under my mattress, but not before getting sprayed in the face with bleach that I keep in a spray bottle beside my bed.

    WIPs:
    We Must Be Killers: Batman and Kick Ass meets Dexter meets Count of Monte Cristo



    Quote Originally Posted by Andre Gide
    The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick Dennis
    I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

  22. #21597
    You Snooze, You Lose! Allaboutwords13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivi942 View Post
    You rooted for Jacob(the werewolf best friend), then? I rooted for him too, if only because he was the nicer one :/ And I hate the cold... Jesus, who'd want to date a guy that you can use to cool your drinks?
    I just have a problem with vampires -.- lol I love Edward But I'm more a fan of Rob, who plays him. Because he's british. And hot. And charming. And funny. And... *drools*.. yeah.
    I find overly done romance a little cheesy sometimes, like "oh come on!" lol you know... oh well. I don't like Jacob, but I've met Taylor Lautner and he's a very nice guy but his looks don't affect me cos I'm not a fan of abs... I mean... the amount of fans that like jacob/Taylor purely because he's got a six pack is digusting. How shallow can some girls get?! Don't care about his acting... nooo as long as he has a six pack, that's all I need! -.-
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  23. #21598
    You Snooze, You Lose! Allaboutwords13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missus Akasha View Post
    I honestly thought Jacob was a douche, but Bella led him on pretty badly and he's a teen who just discovered he is from a werewolf lineage. So yeah, he is pretty aggressive, but it made sense for his particular situation.

    I really didn't mind Edward as a character EXCEPT for the fact that he basically stalked Bella prior to them even having a proper conversation and broke into her house and watched her while she slept. That don't cut it with me at all. If my boyfriend did something like that, he would have gotten stabbed with the steak knife I keep under my mattress, but not before getting sprayed in the face with bleach that I keep in a spray bottle beside my bed.
    PSML! So true about Edward stalking... and your attack system sounds funny.

    sorry about double posting. :S
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  24. #21599
    better off with a really good lie Thalia's Avatar
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    Missus, you seriously should not be worrying about about changing your story and characters to suit stereotypes. You have to finish the story the way you think it should be told.

    All of my characters are either orphans, have a dead parent, or have issues with their parents. Yes, it's overused. But frankly, it's an important part of who my characters are and why the story plays out the way it does.

    So maybe, when I've got an agent, they'll say I should change that. Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

    But seriously, there is no such thing as an original idea, only original ways to tell it.

    Look at the quote in my siggy.

    ETA: Rob does nothing for me visually. I love him because he hates Twilight more than anyone and is not afraid to show it. He was attractive in Harry Potter, but...

    Seriously, I'm one of those girls who loves Taylor for his body, Kat, and that's kind of rude, because ALL celebrity crushes are inherently shallow.
    Last edited by Thalia; 01-03-2012 at 09:36 PM.
    “They do sometimes go crazy, these people, because the world is telling them not to want the things they want. It can seem saner to give up--but then one goes insane from giving up.”

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  25. #21600
    Potterhead Gleek lisalulu09's Avatar
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    I just changed the formatting. I'm probably going to leave it at that, haha.
    Stupid Cupid - YA Paranormal Romance - On hold ()
    Untitled - MG Fantasy - Resting
    Untitled - MG Fantasy - Resting
    Sherlock Holmes' Apprentice - MG Historical Mystery - On hold
    Untitled - YA Paranormal Romance - Writing the first draft

    Reading:
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