Teens Writing for Teens, the 5th

OMG WINNNN.

Also, book 3: Underdogs: Found.

OMG I love the new avis.

YOU MUST CHAAANGE *glares*

I...don't even know how to respond to that picture.

Arianna Sterling said:

I...don't even know how to respond to that picture.

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Sorry. It is past midnight.

Series title opinions?

It depends on the actual book.

True.

Ari--

I just found another song for the Suns and Stars playlist - "This Is The End" by The Maine.

ok worked on my query for the last few hours. Hope this version is better...

The earlier one was better. This one is all tell and no show.

You just need to hook the readers and make them care. That's all a query is. When you're telling me about all the stuff that's going on, I'm like, 'wah?" don't give me that much info. one of the best queries I've ever read gave next to none.

found on queryshark said:

One week ago, Claire's cousin Dinah slit her wrists.

Five days ago, Claire found Dinah's diary and discovered why.

Three days ago, Claire stopped crying and came up with a plan.

Two days ago, she ditched her piercings and bleached the black dye from her hair.

Yesterday, knee socks and uniform plaid became a predator's camouflage.

Today, she'll find the boy who broke Dinah.

By tomorrow, he'll wish he was dead.

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see? barely no info, but I care. because we have a strong MC.

ETA: Ally, go read QueryShark. Read every single entry there. Then go to The Public Query Slushpile and give an opinion on everything in the past month. Finally, go to QLH and read all the stickies, then give a full crit to at least 15 queries. THEN try again.

I've seen that query. I really liked it.

'twas good.

Ooh, PFK! oh, wait, I guess down here it's KFC.

Dudes I just got an SNI while watching Titanic.

So it's alternate history. It's about a lookout (I think that's what they're called. They guys that watch for stuff on top of that perch thing. Sorry, don't know my ship parts) that is this poor American teen that was orphaned in London after he was separated from his family over there. He competes for the job on the Titanic and finally gets it. But as the Titanic's maiden voyage progresses (sorry, I'm kinda hyper right now. When I get hyper the quality of my diction vastly decreases) he records strange sightings in his diary, so strange that he decides to not even report them to the captain. This includes tremendous splashes in the distance and odd flashes of bright, multicolored lights in the water below.

Then, on the evening of April 15, 1912, one Frederick McGill is bitten by a small spiderlike being that had crawled up the side of the ship. In five minutes, Mr. McGill is dead. In another five, he has reanimated into a zombie. And so begins the demise of the RMS Titanic seen through the eyes of the lookout, witnessing the survivors scramble for the lifeboats and fightback a thousand undead. Realizing that he will freeze to death if he doesn't get out, he decides to risk traveling down the ladder to get some warmer clothes, food, and weapons. He nearly gets cornered, but narrowly survives the journey down the ladder. A few hours pass. Fires break out across the ship. The Titanic begins to sink, and the lookout will go down with it if he doesn't get off his perch and into a lifeboat.

And through all of this, something lurks in the water. Something huge, something smart. Something above him and all of humanity.

Cash, that is great... and is almost exactly like the current arc of my favorite manga.

I'm giving up for a while.

Let me tell you I've read all those queries. I've read the whole damn site and it still hasnt made it any easier.

UMMM... THAT BEATS THAT AWFUL MOVIE.

How many queries have you critted?

Hey guys. If you don't hear from me for a bit it's because my stress levels just shot through the roof. Letting you know.

Okay, Blaine.

Thalia said:

Cash, that is great... and is almost exactly like the current arc of my favorite manga.

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**Sighs**

**Crosses SNI off list**

ETA: Oh, and could you tell me the name of the manga?

Thalia said:

How many queries have you critted?

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You mean how many have i actually commented on? Not many because personally i think most of them sound very interesting. I read the ones people put up here and on the query forum and i think almost all of them are great! Then people bash them to pieces and i personally cant understand why. Clearly this shows i couldnt be an agent.

Waiting for this album to download and then I'm going to bed. 'Night, guys.

Okay, I think my stress levels have dropped at least a little now. So I can be here again.

I'm pretty close to an agent when it comes to query letter reactions, but I'm a little more patient.

Cash-- it's called Kuroshitsuji, or Black Butler. It's AMAZING. Just ask Ari.

ETA: Also, we've practically got an entire Glee forum here.

Oh, and Brittany's not actually an idiot. She just can't draw the line between fiction and reality. It's completely different.