I miss being the group baby with Cash. Oh well, at least I'm not creaking yet
*grins at Para*
*grins at Para*
Teens Writing for Teens, the 5th
- Thread starter It's-Magic!
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Oh! You are around!
So, I have a question for said creaky twifties, and also less-creaky twifties. I'm moving internationally in less than a week, and for part of this week will be staying in a hotel. Should I put my current contact info, future contact info, or no contact info at all in my queries?
So, I have a question for said creaky twifties, and also less-creaky twifties. I'm moving internationally in less than a week, and for part of this week will be staying in a hotel. Should I put my current contact info, future contact info, or no contact info at all in my queries?
This is weeeeird...
Age of Conan once had female nudity. Now, you can still take your character's top off...but they have no nipples.
And yet, the decapitations, impalement and demons are still in the game.
AMERICA IS WEIRD
Age of Conan once had female nudity. Now, you can still take your character's top off...but they have no nipples.
And yet, the decapitations, impalement and demons are still in the game.
AMERICA IS WEIRD
You know what's weird, when i was younger say ages 8-16 i never wanted to grow up... now i'm 21 and i first off dont feel grown up at all and 2nd cant wait to grow up more suddenly because being out of school finally will be a dream come true! To just go to a stupid job all day then come home and not have to study, or do homework, or stress over grades... what a dream!
You just can't win sometimes.
Also, hurrah! I found there are actually options! You can turn both nudity and violence on and off. Now isn't that nice and respectful, game...
*gives game bonus points*
Also, hurrah! I found there are actually options! You can turn both nudity and violence on and off. Now isn't that nice and respectful, game...
*gives game bonus points*
I'm 25 and i've not changed mentally/physically/emotionally since i was about 14/15 and some people think that's weird, i just think it's logical. I'm afraid of death, and my theory is a lot of people are too quick to grow up. When you grow up you're accepting you're getting older. When you get older you're getting closer to death. Very morbid, i admit, but that's how my weird mind works. So i just... accept my youth still. No point taking life too seriously. Why waste life working in a moody office 9-5 every day and not have any fun? I'd rather write for a living while still enjoying life and not being forced to behave a certain way.
Think... i may have bypassed the point of the reply... either way, i don't feel my age and still don't want to grow up. i'm allowed to live in denial! the end.
hahahahhaa
Give your email address. If they want to call, they can email to set up a convenient time and you can explain the situation via email.
LOVING your avi, by the way!
And hey, i don't believe we've been introduced! I'm Kat.
Wow were like twins i'm telling you. I always say I havent matured/aged past 13. I'm also afriad of death i'm a hypocondraic too (funny how i write about death ALL the time though) I'd love to write for a living but I really see that as something happening WAY off in the future if ever.
Hummm i dont think i want to grow up persay more just get the hell out of school because i freaking hate it.
Ok. I don't want it to be overly critted, that's why I haven't posted it on the critting page but I think another set of eyes would help.
When a vivacious young secretary from the SFPD, Barbara Jensen, is mysteriously murdered, police detective John Harris is given the case by his boss and mentor, George Samuel. But he soon discovers that there is more to it than meets eye – much more. A serial killer’s quest to protect his secret, a mysterious tattoo, a friend who is not who he says he is, an assassin’s hazy past, and no trace of evidence… kill after kill. John scours the city in pursuit of this serial killer to no avail. But some things are closer than they appear. And when John’s faith in George proves to be misplaced, his own life is put in danger… and a knife is drawn. This blood-chilling, heart-pounding mystery explores the dark world of betrayal, murder, deceit… and the striking realization that the serial killer that John is desperately searching for may just be his closest friend – the one who is sitting beside him right about now...
Set in modern-day San Francisco, Down by the Bay (75,000 words) is a riveting YA murder mystery that will keep readers up all night with its relentless suspense, frequent surprise twists and hint of dry humor. Its diverse collage of believable characters, ranging from Daniel – a slick, charismatic assassin – to Julia – a sour, cantankerous secretary – will jump out at the reader, grab them by the collar and drag them into the unfolding mystery. Told through twelve different points of view including the murderer’s (who talks to the reader directly, under an alias of course), Down by the Bay will immediately captivate its reader and keep him guessing throughout the entire novel. And the ending is even more shocking…
I am a dedicated writer with a strong knowledge of the YA population and their interests. To that end, I have crafted an intricate yet enthralling plot which will entertain this population and satisfy their cravings for a YA murder mystery. An avid reader myself, I have created an innovative new murder mystery that is a pioneer in the YA genre. (This is a simultaneous submission).
If you are interested in my work, I’d be happy to send you a complete manuscript.
Thank you so much for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
When a vivacious young secretary from the SFPD, Barbara Jensen, is mysteriously murdered, police detective John Harris is given the case by his boss and mentor, George Samuel. But he soon discovers that there is more to it than meets eye – much more. A serial killer’s quest to protect his secret, a mysterious tattoo, a friend who is not who he says he is, an assassin’s hazy past, and no trace of evidence… kill after kill. John scours the city in pursuit of this serial killer to no avail. But some things are closer than they appear. And when John’s faith in George proves to be misplaced, his own life is put in danger… and a knife is drawn. This blood-chilling, heart-pounding mystery explores the dark world of betrayal, murder, deceit… and the striking realization that the serial killer that John is desperately searching for may just be his closest friend – the one who is sitting beside him right about now...
Set in modern-day San Francisco, Down by the Bay (75,000 words) is a riveting YA murder mystery that will keep readers up all night with its relentless suspense, frequent surprise twists and hint of dry humor. Its diverse collage of believable characters, ranging from Daniel – a slick, charismatic assassin – to Julia – a sour, cantankerous secretary – will jump out at the reader, grab them by the collar and drag them into the unfolding mystery. Told through twelve different points of view including the murderer’s (who talks to the reader directly, under an alias of course), Down by the Bay will immediately captivate its reader and keep him guessing throughout the entire novel. And the ending is even more shocking…
I am a dedicated writer with a strong knowledge of the YA population and their interests. To that end, I have crafted an intricate yet enthralling plot which will entertain this population and satisfy their cravings for a YA murder mystery. An avid reader myself, I have created an innovative new murder mystery that is a pioneer in the YA genre. (This is a simultaneous submission).
If you are interested in my work, I’d be happy to send you a complete manuscript.
Thank you so much for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Get off my lawn.
ETA: You need stakes. What happens if he fails? Why should I care about your main character?
ETA2: I forgot to mention...what's with the random italics?
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The good news is that it's pretty clear why you're getting rejected. I'm not sure if anyone is getting as far as reading the first pages. Briefly:
- There's a hard limit of 250 words for queries. Yours must be about 400 with the opening and closing added in. Not only does it feel wordy and overwritten, it tells the agent that you don't read or follow guidelines.
- It's a bad idea to praise your own work: "blood-chilling", "heart-pounding", "riveting", "shocking", "enthralling", "innovative". It sounds arrogant and it's rarely true. Everyone claims their work is amazing. 99% of them are wrong.
- Once you remove the self-praising, there's very little actual content here.
I used to hate school too. I was bullied and just wanted to get away from them all. So what happened? I barely revised and concentrated on just getting out. Not entirely realising that my grades are important. Then a year or so later i missed school, and still do, i wish i could go back. Re-do everything. I know that if i could, i'd be a whole different person. In some ways, if i was to move to another country, i could probably go back to high school. haha
Hi, I'm AriLOVING your avi, by the way!
My advice for queries.
Introduce as fast as you can
Introduce stakes
End with drama
That's how I wrote my query!
Wham. Bam. Thank you ma'am.
(specifically, Para and Sage, who helped with the query!)
Introduce as fast as you can
Introduce stakes
End with drama
That's how I wrote my query!
Wham. Bam. Thank you ma'am.
(specifically, Para and Sage, who helped with the query!)
Fix it first. Sorry, but if you're looking for someone to just tell you it's great, this isn't the right place.
Sorry, HR, but i have to say this: Everytime i see your avi, i can't help but swoon. Matt Smith IS TO DIE FOR! So..... *clutches heart*.... swoon worthy. It's not even his looks.. cos he isn't the obvious good looking. But his charm... Oh my! *drools*... Sorry. Had to say that! The end xD
Hotness wise, I've always preferred David. Matt is pretty hot too, though.
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