Teens Writing for Teens, the 5th

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Taylor_Writes

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I'm watching The... Uh... Something Bureau. Good movie so far. Too bad I can't remember the title ;)
 

Taylor_Writes

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UGH. I just read a spoiler for the Deathly Hallows. Why? WHY?!? It happened to me for Mockingjay, and now this. I hate myself.
 

Taylor_Writes

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I'm trying to forget about it. But, it was about the Hogwarts Battle. I managed to forget that Mockingjay spoiler. Hopefully I can do the same here.
 

Imbroglio

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Yeah, that's good.

I also forgot the spoiler I read.

I read the inside cover of Mockingjay before finishing Catching Fire, but I ended up forgetting it before the end and I was still really surprised.
 

Taylor_Writes

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Haha. The good thing about me and The Hunger Games that there was only one other boy in my grade that read the books, and we were reading Mockingjay at the same time (I was finished before him, though), so I didn't have to worry about people talking about it and spoiling it. But, with Harry Potter, people watched the movies and read the books before I did, and they ended up spoiling a few things, like Dumbledore dying (which I still bawled about) and Harry and Ginny and all that stuff.

That sucked :/
 

Zoombie

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In Soviet Russia, Dumbledore kills Snape!

Also, the Hunger Games can die in a fire. The book series. All of them. That's not true, I don't actually advocate the burning of any books. But seriously, fuck those books.
 

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I hate things that suck. That's why I hate most of Star Trek, anything by Treyarch games, and The Hunger Games.

And FATAL.

Cause fuck FATAL
 

Zoombie

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Let me count the ways!

There are logic fails.


Why are MOUNTAINS good at stopping REBELS? In the first book, it is stated that the Capitol is protected by mountains, which made it easy to defend. But wait, it gets all of it's food and resources from...THE DISTRICTS. Which is shipped in by TRAIN. Which is easy to SABOTAGE.

Jesus christ.

Survival Fails!

Wasting food is WRONG! D12 is on the brink of starvation! Katniss regularly cuts off the heads, feet, and skins of rabbits, then leaves the entrails under leaves. Bye bye FIFTY PERCENT OF THE ANIMAL!

Katniss' family has A MILK PRODUCING GOAT! They are not starving. There is no fucking WAY that they are starving. Why?

Goats produce milk...when they also produce OTHER goats.

At one point, Peeta pours Haymitch's alcohol down the drain. In a society without plumbing and purification of their public waters, in a society where everyone is dropping DEAD of starvation every other day, you. Do. Not. Do. That.

You water down the alcohol. The calories are worth it! The safe drinking water is WROTH IT!

FEMINISM FAILS!

Bread and Wind are controlling, domineering assholes. Katniss' mother - despite being a trained medicine woman - instantly falls to pieces the instant her big manly perfect and heroic husband dies and almost never does anything of value.

Women exist to be fridged (like Rue), mocked and marginalized (like the Foxfaced Girl, who, BY THE WAY, was EASILY ten times as moral and forthright as Katniss. Katniss murdered and killed without even hesitating. She thought about killing a girl who started a fire, then didn't warn her that it might bring down the wrath of the careers. The Foxfaced girl - who was never given a name and described entirely through animalistic adjectives - did nothing but eat what other people ate. SHe was clever and a hell of a lot better protangonist than Katniss the narcissitic sociopath).

Oh, and lets not forget the only woman who is ever in a position of power - Coin - is also EVILULZ.

Just Things that Pissed Me Off In General

Katniss never fights the games.

Ever. She does not, say, DIG OUT THE TRACKING CHIP AND FUCKING LEAVE.

She does not, say, try and kill the game-masters with a bow!

She does not even do passive resistance during the video interviews. Instead, she does every single goddamn thing the CAPITOL wants. They WANT entertainment, they WANT charm and glamor.

ARGH.

And the mutts. Dear god the MUTTS.

These people have advanced bioengineering and they still use liposuction and plastic surgery?

Also, how the flying hell is Panum's population so freaking small? They don't have fucking contraceptives and it seems like people are breeding fairly fast. Even WITH the whole starvation thing it still does not track.

And finally, the biggest, WORST thing that I have wrong with it............................


*drum roll*


PRESIDENT SNOW

IS

THE

WORST

FUCKING

DICTATOR

EVER

The dude is INCOMPETENT as HELL. That does not a good villain make! Who the hell puts enough secrets in the head of a bishi boy that the instant he flaps his lips, your entire political apparatus starts falling apart? And why does he waffle about? If Katniss is causing trouble, PUT A FUCKING BULLET THROUGH HER HEAD!

Stalin managed to rule a country many times Panum's size, with half the technological gizmos, and without an overdone reality TV show death match. He did it by machine gunning people that disagreed with him, brutality, prison camps and being a paranoid motherfucker.

Snow should have been overthrown 75 years before the books even started.

(And I didn't even touch on how Rue, the nimble acrobat who had infinite ammo and a lethal weapon - a sling - should have won the games in a few days flat)
 

Zoombie

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Meh. There are things I hate more.

Like The Child!

Aka, the Star Trek episode where a woman...

A) Orgasms during space rape
B) Is used as an incubator and no one cares
C) It introduces Doctor Pulaski, the second most loathed Star Trek TNG character...right before Okana...
 

Imbroglio

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I don't know, it's just somehow you manage to be incredibly nitpicky and a complete buzzkill all in one go.
 

Zoombie

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I don't think it's nitpicky to notice huge gaping errors in your plot structure, characterization and research.
 

Imbroglio

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Those aren't necessarily huge gaping errors. Just because something doesn't go the way you think they probably should have gone doesn't make it completely erroneous. The bulk of your qualms are completely based on opinion and not on actual fact.
 

Zoombie

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...you mean the caloric and disinfectant properties of alcohol is an opinion now?

The killing power of a sling is an opinion?

The way that actual dictatorships function is an opinion?

The way that MILK is produced is an opinion?

You don't have to slavishly follow reality, yes...but it's painfully obvious that reserch was NOT done in things like hunting, fighting, survival, starvation, government and warfare.

If you're writing about such things, you need to do the research!
 

Imbroglio

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I said the bulk, not all.

Your first point, I've no idea. I'm sure that's all very well.

A sling may be a lethal weapon, but in the hands of a twelve year old girl, you may not receive optimal results.

I'm sure your extensive knowledge of dictatorships far outweighs mine, so I probably shouldn't question you on this one. However, I would disagree in that I found that it was perfectly adequate for the purpose it served.

Like you said, no need to slavishly follow reality.

I suppose it's just something we're going to have to agree to disagree upon. Obviously you feel that it's not well researched.

Maybe when you're published and I have the ability to read and critique anything you've written, I can give you my own opinion on whether or not you did your research.
 

Zoombie

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That's why I'm doing it!

I recently changed a few passages. Lunar regolith is actually not as duterium rich as I thought.

Me, I'm trying to decide how to handle remote drones...why are they not in my war? I mean, we use drones a lot right NOW. Why use squishy people in suits when you have drones.

Fuck...
 

Zoombie

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Well, lets think!

The only manufacturing equipment in orbit that is controlled by the MC's side is the Forge. It's a collection of small compartments in microgravity that build various things. They're a...

Chemical Factory
Industrial Plant
Nanometalurical Refinery

For big projects, they build lots of parts inside, then construct them outside. BUT they can't do this because floating something outside is a big giant 'shoot this please' sign. They can't rely on the orbital laser cannon for covering fire, if only because (due to the orbits of the Forge and Big Bertha) the Earth gets in the way too often, making it possible for a missile to be banked around, using the Earth as a shield.

So, you can't make big things.

But do drones need to be big? Nope!

However!

The Forge has limited capacity!

It's limited by resource and by space. Now, it can produce a whole hell of a lot if it's got enough raw material, BUT there is not a lot of raw material coming in. They could make plenty of drones...but space is full of stations that have been holed, shredded, damaged and destroyed. Those stations need patching and rebuilding, or else thousands of people will die.

So the Forge has to juggle double duty as both a civilian production facility and a munition factory. And at the end of the day, it's cheaper to build space suits and guns than it is to build smart drones.

But once the orbital lanes too and from the Earth clear up, raw material can be flown up from the Earth and we'll see an influx of drone supported troops.

Too late for my MC's fight, though.

Fhew.

I was worried I'd have to do major rewrites. I should slip a scene in there talking about this though...
 

Zoombie

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Also, there's the issues of light lag. In my universe, there are sentient A.Is, but they're conscientious objectors to the last bit. So if you're telecomming drones from, say, the Hub (which is at the E/SL1 point) at, say, the E/ML1 point...that's a 6 second lag (3 there, 3 back) between every action.

In other words: A lost battle.
 
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