Book openings that stop you reading

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Phaeal

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I just finished (re-) reading '101 Best Beginnings ever written' by Barnaby Conrad.

It is not just about the good beginnings, but the bad ones too. One of Dicken's novels is mentioned, where he opens up with a dozen (slight exaggeration) page description of fog.

At the risk of being labelled a shill, this book is recommended.

I especially enjoyed the little story where Upton Sinclair, on a transatlantic crossing saw a young lady start to read one of his novels. He had never seen anyone actually reading his books and was enchanted by the sight. She read one page, got up, went to the railing and dropped his book into the ocean.

This incident made me want to look up the book to see what could have been so bad (my library didn't have a copy, so I haven't read it yet.): http://www.patrickkillough.com/books/sinclairlewis_coolidge.html

The book that opens with a description of fog-bound London is Bleak House. It's a brilliant example of landscape (well, cityscape) embodying both mood and theme.

Upton Sinclair did not write Sinclair Lewis's The Man Who Knew Coolidge. Amazon lists a few copies, including a US first edition for $57.50.

I just snagged the British first edition, only $18.50. :D
 

TudorRose

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Opening with a massive info-dump. Especially if it's written like a cross between a philosophy lecture and a documentary voice-over.

The award goes to...

THERE IS FIRST of all the problem of the opening, namely, how to get us from where we are, which is, as yet, nowhere, to the far bank. It is a simple bridging problem, a problem of knocking together a bridge. People solve such problems every day. They solve them, and having solved them push on.

Let us assume that, however it may have been done, it is done. Let us take it that the bridge is built and crossed, that we can put it out of our mind. We have left behind the territory in which we were. We are in the far territory; where we want to be.

Elizabeth Costello is a writer, born in 1928, which makes her sixty-six years old, going on sixty-seven. She has written nine novels, two books of poems, a book on bird life, and a body of journalism. By birth she is Australian. She was born in Melbourne and still lives there, though she spent the years 1951 to 1963 abroad, in England and France. She has been married twice. She has two children, one by each marriage.

Elizabeth Costello made her name with her fourth novel, The House on Eccles Street (1969), whose main character is Marion Bloom, wife of Leopold Bloom, principal character of another novel, Ulysses (1922), by James Joyce. In the past decade there has grown up around her a small critical industry; there is even an Elizabeth Costello Society, based in Albuquerque, New Mexico, which puts out a quarterly Elizabeth Costello Newsletter.

In the spring of 1995 Elizabeth Costello traveled, or travels (present tense henceforth), to Williamstown, Pennsylvania, to Altona College, to receive the Stowe Award. The award is made biennially to a major world writer, selected by a jury of critics and writers. It consists of a purse of $50,000, funded by a bequest from the Stowe estate, and a gold medal. It is one of the larger literary prizes in the United States.
Sorry, Booker Prize Longlistee... it's like Wikipedia only with less fiction.
 

MJNL

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When a book is prefaced with something like, Everything you are about to read is Fact. When it's fiction. And then the first thing the author does in chapter one is give a horribly inaccurate description of the Louvre...

But we've already talked about this particular author. ;-)
 

bearilou

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Seemingly irrelevent tidbit of info is disclosed
Little did he know that this knowledge would SAVE HIS LIFE in only TWO HOURS!!!!!!11!!!!!!11.

So I wasn't the only one annoyed by that. :D

In response to seun, first person angstfests at the beginning. "Oh see me, I'm a monster and my perfect family gave up their perfect life for me just to see that me, the monster and I really am such a monster that I shouldn't be breathing good air that my perfect family should be breathing...and did I mention that my perfect family gave up their perfect future...just to keep me safe from my monstrous heritage?...and I'm a monster, did I cover that already?"

Also, any book that starts with pingpong head jumping. Maybe it's petty but I will read down the paragraphs and see how they start each one. If I get the paragraphs start with a character's name every. single. time...

Tiberius Snerklewitz did this [action].

Janie Cumbersniffle startled out of her [action].

Tiberius said and did [another action].

Janie went and did this [action over there].

I put it down.
 

Soccer Mom

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Meh. I'm not too picky. Just don't bore me and we'll get along fine.
 

Kmarshall

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Harry, Ron, and Hermione did this.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione did that.

Harry, Ron and Hermione didn't do this or that.

For the record, I really DO like Harry Potter, but this gets to be a little much.
 

BunnyMaz

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Quote:
Originally Posted by scarletpeaches
It's impossible for the POV characters to know things ahead of time anyway.

"Little did he know," translates as "Piss-poor foreshadowing."


I think if I actually read little did he know, I'd have to punch myself in the face just to take my mind off it.

I take it you've not read the Da Vinci Code, then? Those. Exact. Words.
 
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I have actually. Twice. Just to see if it was possible to commit suicide by bad book. I'm still here, so I'm thinking it's a Candyman/Beetlejuice job. You need to go for the hat trick.
 

Darren Frey

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The only book I attempted to read that annoyed me was Fellowship Of The Ring. I mean Tolkein (sp?) kept going on and on about who was related to who and it bored me to death to the point where I havent made an attempt to try to read it again.

I also found Anne Rice's Memnoch The Devil a bit hard to read because the book really only consisted of 2 main conversations and there wasnt really a whole lot going on. I wonder if the book was mainly written for shock value as apposed to pleasing the reader.
 

Nick Blaze

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What usually turns me off are openings that do nothing to challenge or stimulate my mind. This limits me greatly in books, though, so sometimes I have to suck it up or most modern books wouldn't appeal to me.
 

aadams73

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Meh. I'm not too picky. Just don't bore me and we'll get along fine.

Right there with you. :)

As long as I'm engaged and entertained (and I'm easily entertained), I'll ride it out. I can't point to a single event that spells doom, because anything done well will suffice--even over-done and/or cliche openings.
 

hillaryjacques

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I can't think of any books I stopped reading due to the beginning. I can think of a couple where I persevered through a so-so beginning and was delighted to find an excellent story starting up after the first few pages or first chapter. And after that, who cares if the opening was a little stunted?
 

muravyets

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If the first page prompts me to predict the whole rest of the book, I put it back on the store shelf, because those predictions are almost always accurate. Same with movies and tv.
 

Carrie in PA

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As long as I'm engaged and entertained (and I'm easily entertained), I'll ride it out.

Ditto. Once I start it, odds are that I'm going to finish it. There have only been a handful of books I've ever abandoned because they were too horrific to finish.

Of course, I believe this just means that I have exquisite taste when choosing books, and not that my standards are low. :ROFL:
 

DreamWeaver

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I'm pretty good about persevering through slow openings, but if a dog or cat gets killed in the first page or two I'm usually done. Occasionally I keep going and am rewarded with the fantastic treat of reading something like "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time."

Before I start any book, though, I read a few sample excerpts. If every noun is modified by one or more adjectives, every verb is modified by an adverb, and even some of the adjectives are marshalled along by their very own adverbs--then I usually pass.

Made up example: The tall, lean MC gently tossed the bright pink frisbee down the freshly mown parkway for his blue merle Australian shepherd dog Buffy, who eagerly awaited the increasingly imminent arrival of her treasured plastic toy with feathery tail wagging happily.

Of course, that one got extra points for redundancy (Australian shepherd dog), inaccuracy (purebred Australian shepherds can't wag their tails--they're docked), and dangling participle (the dog's nonexistent tail is wagging, not the frisbee's).
 
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froley

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Present tense first-person point of view. NOPE.

Also a smug, snarky tone, or flowery writing that distracts from the story.

Otherwise, I'm willing to read at least 10% of a book before quitting on it.
 

Bookewyrme

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A great opening won't always even keep me interested in a book if I'm not in the right mood for that one. There's times when I've picked up one of my favorite books for something to re-read but been in the mood for something else and put the book back down after a few pages. It's not you, it's me, I swear.

That being said I do have one peeve. When the entire first chapter consists of description or discussion of something fairly mundane not only will I be done with the book completely, but it is likely to earn my ire. For instance, as a completely and totally random example, a book beginning with a description and discussion of a carpet-bag for several pages. You know who you are.

Opening with a massive info-dump. Especially if it's written like a cross between a philosophy lecture and a documentary voice-over.

The award goes to...

Sorry, Booker Prize Longlistee... it's like Wikipedia only with less fiction.
I....is that....seriously? That's the opening to a novel? :Wha:
 

benbradley

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There's a novel that starts out with a letter (there's surely several, but there's this one...). It's got "I this" and "you that" and it felt like an excuse for an infodump. I don't think I got past the letter to see what the rest was like. I dunno, I wonder if I'm not being fair, but that biased me against the thing from the start.

There's a songwriting quip I like that I think is applicable to novels: "Don't bore us, get to the chorus!"

BTW The Beatles do that with a bang with "Can't Buy Me Love."
When a book is prefaced with something like, Everything you are about to read is Fact. When it's fiction. ...
I'm thinking of two examples of that: "The Amityville Horror" (I've been to Amityville, the horror is that it's too close to NYC and the houses are too close together, like on 1/10th acre lots or something), and "Chariots Of The Gods" (it's not even written as a novel, but it does claim to be true).
The only book I attempted to read that annoyed me was Fellowship Of The Ring. I mean Tolkein (sp?) kept going on and on about who was related to who and it bored me to death to the point where I havent made an attempt to try to read it again.
This reminds me of the Old Testament and all the Begats.
I can't think of any books I stopped reading due to the beginning. I can think of a couple where I persevered through a so-so beginning and was delighted to find an excellent story starting up after the first few pages or first chapter. And after that, who cares if the opening was a little stunted?
Perhaps the author, agent and publisher who didn't get as many sales because too many readers were turned off at the first page? I'm thinking they SHOULD care. If the first page is indicative of the rest of the book, that's fair enough, but if the rest of the book turns out to be good, then it's a shame the first page turns off readers.

"Get to the chorus."
 
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Bookewyrme

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RobJ

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If the first page prompts me to predict the whole rest of the book, I put it back on the store shelf, because those predictions are almost always accurate.
How do you know if you don't read them?
 

Mr Flibble

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How do you know if you don't read them?

I do read those, I admit, just to see if I'm wrong. Sadly I rarely am. If by the end of the first chapter I can map out he entire plot and not get any surprises even though they are revealed as though TADA! Look how clever I am!...(And I don't mean boy gets girl in romance, or detective finds out who dunnit) Sometimes the journey is worth it but when a writer is that clumsy at foreshadowing the OMG groovy plot! well, that's a hint on how it's going to be - a book to read on how not to do it.

Now a book that gives you the conflict and I wonder 'So how they gonna get out of that then?'...that makes me want to read on.

Horses for courses though.
 
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