Oh, but they all think they're bringing something different to the table, when it's always the same shyte we've seen so many times it's grown wearisome.
Meanwhile, I saw that yet another person with posts countable on my hands and one foot is seeking someone to give her completed novel five to fifteen hours of their life, depending on how quickly they read, how agent-ready it really is, and how thoroughly they beta.
Maryn, not volunteering
I <3 trolls.
I try to follow the 3 and 1 principle - every time I post a piece to be critted, I crit 3 others of the same genre/style. IE: One query letter goes up, I critique 3. One Sci-Fi excerpt goes up, I try to critique 3 Sci-Fi/Fantasy excerpts.
The point is, how writers behave surrounding their crits is something critters will remember. And while everyone deserves a second chance, some folks are going to have to get their second chance from someone else.
On the whole I think I've had more appreciation for crits than arguments/golden words/ingrates.
Derek, I thought that not mentioning their names kept it out of the realm of disrespect/shaming.Is it really necessary to attempt to shame other members in public like this? There could be a dozen reasons why they haven't got around to saying thanks yet, forgetfulness being the most obvious. As ironic as this may sound, methinks you're infringing the respect your fellow writer rule just by talking about this in open forum. If they reported these posts, I'd have a tough time deciding who the offensive party is.
-Derek
Hmm. Well, it wasn't the most complimentary crit, so maybe she'll thank me after the sting dulls down.
Now in that same forum a different writer, who went all Golden Words Syndrome last time she was critted (not by me) is awaiting a crit on a new piece. Where'd I put my 10-foot pole?
The point is, how writers behave surrounding their crits is something critters will remember. And while everyone deserves a second chance, some folks are going to have to get their second chance from someone else.
On the whole I think I've had more appreciation for crits than arguments/golden words/ingrates.
That's the bit I'm not sure about. But if I talked about you in a thread viewable by all, without naming you, and you happened to find my posts and recognize exactly who I was talking about, would you not be somewhat peeved? Actually, I think you'd demand my head on a plate. Quite right, too.Derek, I thought that not mentioning their names kept it out of the realm of disrespect/shaming.
Derek, I thought that not mentioning their names kept it out of the realm of disrespect/shaming.
When someone is sitting on their thread posting about how anxious and eager they are for a crit, then they start another thread elsewhere talking about how anxious and eager they are for a crit, it's pretty surprising when they don't even acknowledge said crit .... even 5 days later .... when they've posted repeatedly at AW in the meantime. (Not to mention this person sent me a private message asking me specifically for a critique).
I just forgot? Maybe if you're Dory in Finding Nemo.
If I was feeling unappreciated before, your post makes me feel even more unappreciated. But since you think I'm being disrespectful of the precious ingrates, I'll delete the posts you're complaining about.
God forbid I offend an ingrate.
If I was behaving like a giant douche (and I'll admit there are time I have) and you mentioned it without mentioning me by name, I'd be grateful, and maybe take it as a hint that I owed you an apology.That's the bit I'm not sure about. But if I talked about you in a thread viewable by all, without naming you, and you happened to find my posts and recognize exactly who I was talking about, would you not be somewhat peeved? Actually, I think you'd demand my head on a plate. Quite right, too.
I think the post deletes might save us some drama and hassle, so thanks for that.
-Derek
I agree with every word. My writing partner of 5 years would be the first to tell you he started out here with the thinnest skin and most golden words imaginable. But he grew a tough hide and he's a better writer for it.Just remember one thing: the thick-skin is developed over time. Driving people off before they develop it neither helps the AW community grow, nor does it really serve the writer (or "ingrate") themselves.
I can safely say, I started off as a golden word thinskin myself. People would give me bad critiques and I'd get mad. Once in awhile, I'd be so mad, I'd talk back - and after getting slapped down by the community (good job all), I finally learned my lesson. So yeah, I have a soft spot for people who are thin-skinned. I was there once, thinking I could do no wrong and would essentially take a shit on a page and if people had the audacity not to call it gold, I got offended.
Just because people are thin-skinned doesn't mean they can't eventually become great members of the community. They should follow Maryn's tips, accept their licks. And the AW Community also needs to be a little forgiving. Not compromising. No going easy on the new guys... but forgiving. Don't have long memories over people who may have not responded to your critique, or may have gotten offended and exploded. It's thin-skinned syndrome. Trust me, the skin grows over time.
Don't hate on the thin-skins. We become useful members after awhile. Promise.
Just remember one thing: the thick-skin is developed over time. Driving people off before they develop it neither helps the AW community grow, nor does it really serve the writer (or "ingrate") themselves.
I can safely say, I started off as a golden word thinskin myself. People would give me bad critiques and I'd get mad.