As I'm sure you know, I'm keenly aware of the Hedgehog's dilemma from Eva, and it's a concept I love explored in anime, since I relate to it so well.
It's just in this show that I don't get it. You even say you don't know what that is here, either. What is that?
Maybe I'm just dense and don't understand subtext. In Eva, I only had to understand metaphor, not emotional subtext.
Maybe I'm just indulgent and project personal experience. I might completely misunderstand the show. Who knows?
But I do think there's a difference in how we approach shows, in general. I think we've been through this once for
Eva. Metaphor isn't nearly as important for me, or more accurately, I'm very literal minded. I need to take a show at face value before I can process metaphor. (I think the context in which we hashed this out was a comment of mine on how Shinji was in a very unusual situation, or something like that. I'm too lazy to search.)
Oregairu doesn't really have a metaphorical level on the scale of
Eva. Instead of metaphor they use highly abstract formulisms: "I want something genuine." "I'm not as good a person as you think." During the first half of the first season, I took them at face value, with maybe a bit faux meta-cleverness thrown in. During the second half of the first season, I began to wonder if there isn't more to it. But I thought it was going to be a story about how Hachiman's self-deprecative cynicism is distructive.
When they announced the second season, I wasn't really excited. I only half-remembered the show anyway, but I'd liked it enough that I knew I'd watch season 2. In the beginning I was busy trying to figure out who was who; the new character design, prettied up and smooth, didn't help. I had no idea, for example, who Haruno was - I had to figure that out by content. The first couple of episodes felt a lot like the last couple of episodes of season 2; I had no reason to change my mind.
Then there was that key scene: Hachiman's fake confession to fujoshi girl. I thought that would now lead in to the prerequisite rom-content. But the only one who even acknowledged the implicit love triangle is Yui: the focus was elsewhere. I didn't expect the fall-out to be a complete backlash for Yukino, but it just felt... right. Then a confused Hachiman lashed out at his sister (ooh, how I love Yuki Aoi's low scary voice!), and I had a taste in my mouth I didn't like. Yeah, when you don't know what's going on you isolate yourself. Stuff happens, and then Hachiman has his breakdown, in which he says he wants "something genuine". But it's an empty line; Yukino calls him out on it. In fact, Hachiman is echoing an earlier line of Yukino's about how she thought Hachiman would dispise superficialities just as much as she does.
But despite the line being vacuous, the feelings giving rise to them weren't. I'm not sure I'd call it subtext; spouting cliché lines in this show doesn't represent any deep meaning, I think. Instead they're debris you cling to so you don't drown in your confusion.
And what are those feelings that cause confused teens to seek refuge in stale lines they only half-belief themselves? This is where I think the porcupine metaphor comes in (I know the term "hedgehog's dilemma", but I can't get used to it; for me they're Schopenhauer's Porcupines).
Yui is at the heart of the club. Both Hachiman and Yukino are porcupines with a low tolerance for quills, but high tolerance for cold. They'd keep the formality of the club between them, if it weren't for Yui, a porcupine with a low tolerance for cold and high tolerance for quills. The key plot, club-wise, was then for Yui to get her fellow Porcupines to realise that they themselves, as well as each other, aren't quite as fine with cold as they think. They're just used to freezing. But if she fulfills this job well, and she restores the club to what it is, she'd be ignoring the implicit love triangle, and after Hachiman's fake confession to fujoshi-girl, this is no longer an option for her. (We do not get much development on this this season; Yukino's cookies are the state of affair on that.)
And then there's another important porcupine this season: Hayama. Hayama has more than enough warmth, but he's so sore from quill-stings that he doesn't really feel them anymore. Watching Hachiman play the villain makes him remember the pain, I think. In a sense, both Hayama and Hachiman play assigned social roles on the other end of the quill-cold continuum. But whereas Hayama plays along with everyone, Hachiman takes charge and uses preconceptions about him against the people who hold those preconceptions. During the double-date episode he basically imitates Hachiman's methods, using his popularity as a weapon. But in season one he's always expressed his dislike of those methods. So what do we make of this? To me, Hayama's scratching his sore quill makrs. He's basically lashing out at Hachiman, by defending him in the most embarrassing manner possible. He won't lose much warmth, and maybe the sore parts hurt a little less for a while. "I'm not as kind as you think." Again, one of those empty lines. I think Hayama's kind enough; or kind in one way, and cruel in another. Or maybe indulgent? (In Hayama's situation, I actually do think that's subtext, intended by the character.)
I'm basically waffling around, here, but it's the best I can do. Not sure how much sense this makes. (I've deleted posts like that before, because I think they're confused and directionless, but maybe I should throw an example out there.)