Alzheimer's/Dementia and Rage

Pyekett

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I think it's critical that we share these sorts of stories with one another. For too long, these were the secrets shut up in institutions with the people. Trying to maintain bridges or most any sort of normalcy was too hard because it so often meant starting from scratch for each person.

Stories about how hard the times can be, so scary, so dangerous. Stories about how precious and cherished those times can be, too. What sometimes works to make it better, and what sometimes makes it worse. This is what a certain stage of life is for some people, and that may change with more understanding and different resources, but for now it's what we have.

These times and these people are still a part of our lives. They should stay a part of our lives -- a part of bigger-picture Life for everyone -- insofar as that is possible. Talking about that makes it more likely, not less.
 
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Tsu Dho Nimh

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Can a person with Alzheimer's (or other forms of Dementia) become angry or confused enough to hurt someone? Like hit a caretaker, spouse, family member, etc.?

Yes. My former father-in-law had serious Alzheimer's, became outraged at something my ex BIL did and started beating on him with the hand tool he was carrying. The BIL backed way off and got out of range.

It blows over fairly quickly, but it's definitely possible for serious harm if the object of the aggression was not able to defend themselves or escape.
 

PinkAmy

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I think it's critical that we share these sorts of stories with one another. For too long, these were the secrets shut up in institutions with the people. Trying to maintain bridges or most any sort of normalcy was too hard because it so often meant starting from scratch for each person.

Stories about how hard the times can be, so scary, so dangerous. Stories about how precious and cherished those times can be, too. What sometimes works to make it better, and what sometimes makes it worse. This is what a certain stage of life is for some people, and that may change with more understanding and different resources, but for now it's what we have.
Did you see the HBO series of documentaries Maria Shriver produced about Alzheimer's? It was wonderfully done.
 

Pyekett

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Did you see the HBO series of documentaries Maria Shriver produced about Alzheimer's? It was wonderfully done.

Yes, it was.

I also got a lot out of Terry Pratchett's BBC documentaries on his search for understanding about his diagnosis.
 

WriteMinded

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I am hoping some AWers have the answer to this question. I have researched the disease online, but I do not know anyone personally with the disease (or condition.)

Can a person with Alzheimer's (or other forms of Dementia) become angry or confused enough to hurt someone? Like hit a caretaker, spouse, family member, etc.?

I do not need to know anyone's personal family history (unless one wants to share) as I can only guess how difficult the whole situation must be for those going through this. I empathize whole-heartedly.

But I have read personality changes can be part of the disease, incl. frustration and anger issues. I also know, until the very end, patients with dementia can have moments of lucidity, though these moments decrease as time goes on...

Any insight into this area would be greatly appreciated.
My mother, while a dementia patient in a nursing home, took a bite out of a physical therapist because the physical therapy hurt. 'Course, she was pretty feisty before she ever got sick. Also, I've seen a person afflicted with Alzheimers swinging his cane at another man.
 

Buffysquirrel

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Hmm, yeah. When my mother was hospitalised and waiting to go into a care home, she rabbit punched me when I wouldn't let her leave the building. As I was concerned that the hospital could not (or would not) do anything to make me safe, I had to leave. Before I left, I demanded that the duty psychiatrist see my mother. Over the phone--and only after I had repeated the demand to the next nursing shift--s/he prescribed a sedative for her. Now I knew damn well that the sedative in question had been implicated in negative outcomes for Alzheimer's patients, but at that point I was at the end of my rope. I had been staying with her in the hospital because otherwise, every time she caused a rumpus, they phoned my 80-year-old father to drive over there (forty miles?) to sort out the problem. Whenever I got tired towards the end of the day, and couldn't give her the attention she wanted, she would start making trouble. Leaving her room, confronting the nurses, demanding to be sent home. It was the shittiest time of my life, and I've had some damn bad times.

So, in short, yes.
 

not_HarryS

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When my grandma's Alzheimer's started getting serious, she began having violent episodes with some regularity. One time I remember her having slapped my mom REALLY hard in the kitchen. At the time, she thought my mom was her sister (whom she absolutely hated) and decided to give her a taste of angry granny palm. Another time she thought my sister was a demon. Tried to slap her, but my sister was quick on her feet :) She was very slappy.

But she had her sweet moments too. I remember asking her what kind of candy she liked (this was shortly after Halloween). She told me she loved lemon candy. So I ran back to my room, sifted through all the candy I had, found a few lemon ones, and then brought them out to her. When I said, "Grandma! I found some lemon candies. They're your favorite!", she looked right through my head as if she'd never seen me before and asked, "How on earth did you know that lemon candies were my favorite?"

Scared the crap out of me as a kid, but now it's one of my fonder memories of her.
 

shadowwalker

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But she had her sweet moments too.

Sometimes I think those moments are actually the hardest. When they aren't acting like themselves, it's almost easy to get 'clinical' about it and remind yourself it won't last. But then, those moments when you see the old spark in their eye, that little smile like they're sharing a secret... and you know that won't last either.
 

not_HarryS

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Sometimes I think those moments are actually the hardest. When they aren't acting like themselves, it's almost easy to get 'clinical' about it and remind yourself it won't last. But then, those moments when you see the old spark in their eye, that little smile like they're sharing a secret... and you know that won't last either.

You're exactly right. For me, it's kind of strange, because when my grandma was going through this, it was a neverending whirlwind of confusion for me, because I was only about eight years old at the time. No matter how many times your parents reassure you that granny's sick, or her head isn't in the right place, etc., you can't really wrap your mind around it. She's wearing granny's skin, so why isn't she granny? That sort of thing.

Her sweet moments were more of a relief than anything else.

But now that my dad's going through the same thing, and getting worse by the day, I know what you mean: you get more clinical when they're "normal" than when they're not. Which isn't necessarily the best approach, I think.

Regardless, having experience this at two different levels of understanding is strange... and I honestly can't say which is better. Kids are quick to forgive -- I know that. And although adults are quick to understand, sometimes the outbursts and abnormal behavior can't help but hurt you, even if you know better than to let yourself get hurt.

Does that even make sense?
 

shadowwalker

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And although adults are quick to understand, sometimes the outbursts and abnormal behavior can't help but hurt you, even if you know better than to let yourself get hurt.

Does that even make sense?

Tons. Because you're always questioning - is it them, or is it the disease talking? Even when you know which it is, really.

But through all the heartache during, after sometimes is worse. I find myself wishing I could take back those times when I was just totally worn out and I snapped at her. Or wondering why I didn't do more for her, even though, objectively, I know I was doing all I was capable of at the time.

It's just a cruel disease for everyone involved.
 

aruna

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Yesterday I practically witnessed an attack. I walked passed the dining room in the nursing home and I saw the handyman, Richard, sitting at a dining table repairing a drill. Opposite him sat P., a dementia resident, with her back to me. She was just sitting, watching him.
I had just walked past when I heard the crash of a glass. I rushed back and there was a broken wine glass on the floor, and Richard had blood running down his forehead. P. had thrown the glass at him, a propors of nothing. They hadn't even been talking. She wasn't angry. She just threw thr glass.
Once she threw a (plastic) cup full of coffee at me. It bounced off my leg. Mostly, though, she is good-natured and actually quite droll. You can't help being fond of her.
I've noticed among "normal" people a reluctance to deal with the subject of dementia. A couple of times I've tried to speak with friends about the various residents, about the subject in general, and almost invariably, somebody changes the ubject abruptly -- quite rudely, too. It's as if they are pushing it far away from themselves.
 

shadowwalker

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I've noticed among "normal" people a reluctance to deal with the subject of dementia. A couple of times I've tried to speak with friends about the various residents, about the subject in general, and almost invariably, somebody changes the ubject abruptly -- quite rudely, too. It's as if they are pushing it far away from themselves.

Fear. I'm not up on the literature, but as far as I know (and this probably holds true for the general public), dementia/Alzheimer's can strike anyone. And that's scary. Very scary.

I don't mind talking about it, probably because it's a bit of a relief to be able to. But deep down, there's a horrific fear that I could lose all my memories, forget who my family is, be unable to care for myself... On the one hand, I'd rather be dead. On the other, I think of my mom on her 'good days', when she was happy and smiling even if she didn't know who I was. I don't know. I suppose if one doesn't remember what they've lost, being happy in the moment is acceptable...

Argh. Whole 'nother discussion, that...
 

WriteMinded

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Fear. I'm not up on the literature, but as far as I know (and this probably holds true for the general public), dementia/Alzheimer's can strike anyone. And that's scary. Very scary.

I don't mind talking about it, probably because it's a bit of a relief to be able to. But deep down, there's a horrific fear that I could lose all my memories, forget who my family is, be unable to care for myself... On the one hand, I'd rather be dead. On the other, I think of my mom on her 'good days', when she was happy and smiling even if she didn't know who I was. I don't know. I suppose if one doesn't remember what they've lost, being happy in the moment is acceptable...

Argh. Whole 'nother discussion, that...
Fear. Right. My mother "lost her mind" to dementia. It doesn't help one bit that it was called alcohol induced dementia. My great-grandmother lost her memory too and her lips never touched liquor. Mom used to smile (after they medicated her with anti-depressants) but I could see her eyes moving around trying to find a tether to whatever I was saying to her. Shudder. Every day I forget something and every day I feel that dread niggling through my belly.