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Thread: Swearing in MG?/SALLY has a steamboat!

  1. #76
    practical experience, FTW sissybaby's Avatar
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    OMG! Hilarious. I don't know if that's original work, but I certainly have never heard it before.

  2. #77
    New Fish; Learning About Thick Skin
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    I love, love, love it.

  3. #78
    Reads more than she writes. AW Moderator Smish's Avatar
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    Bumping, just for fun.
    Revision is where you earn your money - and if you haven't made any money yet, revision is where you pay your dues. Sara Zarr

  4. #79
    Hero, villain, angel, demon AW Moderator Sage's Avatar
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    It was Miss Suzie in San Diego
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  5. #80
    Reads more than she writes. AW Moderator Smish's Avatar
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    Shut it, Sage.

    Quoting this again, because I love it so much.

    Quote Originally Posted by SheilaJG View Post
    Okay, I know this steamboat subject has sailed, so to speak, but I was feeling bad for Smish, since she was the only one to remember Sally. So, I did a little research, and unearthed this old ditty that tells the true tale about the ownership of the steamboat. I hope this doesn't get me kicked out of the kid's section.

    Miss Susie vs. Sally - The Cagematch (or, Who Really Owns That Boat)


    Miss Susie had a steamboat
    With railings made of brass
    When Sally tried to steal it
    Suze kicked her in the

    Asking: “What’s your problem?
    You want a taste of oar?
    Sally, you’re deluded
    You thieving little . . . “

    Horses at the dock now
    Sal’s hubby at the hitch
    “Miss Susie, you are dead meat
    My God, you're such a –

    “Betcha didn’t know this,”
    The oar now makes a swoosh
    “Your husband sold the boat to me.
    He’s really quite a-“

    Do shellfish make good weapons?
    Miss Suzie must admit
    An oyster can sting plenty
    When it hits you in the-

    Titillating fight scene
    Greets hubby at the dock
    “Man, you girls are sexy.”
    Sal kicks him in the-

    Cockapoo barks loudly
    Hubby screams and falls
    Suzie looks at Sally
    “You kicked him in the-”

    Balsa wood is soft and light
    Not really good to hit
    Sally throws the boomerang
    “Perverted piece of . . . “

    Shih-tzus join in barking
    Hubby’s looking plastered
    “I should have left him years ago
    The guy is such a . . .

    Jerk.”
    Revision is where you earn your money - and if you haven't made any money yet, revision is where you pay your dues. Sara Zarr

  6. #81
    Hero, villain, angel, demon AW Moderator Sage's Avatar
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    Oh, but, interestingly, I have the same problem as Sheila for my MG.

    For In a Pear Tree, I used made up swear words using Christmas- or winter-related words. "Jingle Bells" and "Leapin' reindeer" for surprise. And then I have "Snowballs" as sort of a replacement for exclamations for bad things. But I'm unsure about the "balls" part of it...

    Originally I also had the grumpy elf say "blowin'" a lot as an adjective, meaning it to refer to blowing wind and snow, but I changed that one to "blasted" because it was too close to real adult terms.
    I took the Flash Fiction Challenge this week. You could too! (password: flashed)


    Hero/Villain: #pitchtopublication
    Super/Human: With betas
    Master/Puppet: With different betas


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  7. #82
    Reads more than she writes. AW Moderator Smish's Avatar
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    If your books fall in that upper-MG/tween range, you can get away with a lot more. As Shady mentioned earlier, there's some swearing in When You Reach Me. There's also swearing in Olive's Ocean, which is a Newbery Honor book (I recall both "prick" and "assholes", specifically) and Shug.

    I wouldn't worry about "snowballs". And fwiw, it's funny.
    Revision is where you earn your money - and if you haven't made any money yet, revision is where you pay your dues. Sara Zarr

  8. #83
    Hero, villain, angel, demon AW Moderator Sage's Avatar
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    Yay, thanks
    I took the Flash Fiction Challenge this week. You could too! (password: flashed)


    Hero/Villain: #pitchtopublication
    Super/Human: With betas
    Master/Puppet: With different betas


    A Paranormal Bromance: Ready to revise finally


    This week, I'm in: Ohio

  9. #84
    practical experience, FTW SheilaJG's Avatar
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    Sadly, that's my best work . . .

    (Oh, my boys were watching a Nickelodeon show about some kids at a performing arts school and they were doing a production called "Steamboat Suzie" - Ha! Another vote for Suzie! I did, in fact, laugh out loud).
    something

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  10. #85
    Reads more than she writes. AW Moderator Smish's Avatar
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    Revision is where you earn your money - and if you haven't made any money yet, revision is where you pay your dues. Sara Zarr

  11. #86
    Odessa Quinn Laura J's Avatar
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    I was going to have one of my characters "swear in Portuguese" (she know many languages). I wasn't going to say the swear, but just that she swore. It is a MG novel.

    Oh, and it is Miss Lucy. (Georgia girl)

  12. #87
    Quote Originally Posted by Laura J View Post

    Oh, and it is Miss Lucy.
    You just got here and already you're trying to start a fight?

  13. #88
    Reads more than she writes. AW Moderator Smish's Avatar
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    Bumping for Sally's sake.
    Revision is where you earn your money - and if you haven't made any money yet, revision is where you pay your dues. Sara Zarr

  14. #89
    practical experience, FTW sissybaby's Avatar
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    Smish - this one hit me in the head this morning after reading your bump.

    I know this pales in comparison, but since we're all cat lovers here, I thought I'd share.


    Hannah had a hairball
    She coughed it on the floor
    Father found it in the night
    And yelled, “you stupid

    Hoarder of the food bowl!
    I’ll get you, cat, for this.”
    He took another awkward step
    And landed in some

    Pistachios and walnuts
    That Hannah thought were bells.
    Father slid across the floor
    While screaming, “Get the

    Hello Kitty out of here.
    I mean it, cat, that’s it.”
    Hannah sauntered up to dad
    And bit him on the

    Tip of one long finger.
    He cried and said, “That’s all!”
    But Hannah smiled and bared her teeth
    And bit him on the

    Balsamic vinegar
    Is great on cabbage stew.
    If Father treated you like that
    Please tell us what you’d do.

  15. #90
    Reads more than she writes. AW Moderator Smish's Avatar
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    That's great, sissy! I love the kidlit gang. You guys are all so darned funny and creative.
    Revision is where you earn your money - and if you haven't made any money yet, revision is where you pay your dues. Sara Zarr

  16. #91
    i luv you giant bear statue AW Moderator Kitty Pryde's Avatar
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    Genius. If there were a market for filthy children's songs, that would be a sure sale

  17. #92
    practical experience, FTW MsJudy's Avatar
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    Oh, my. All it needs are illustrations.
    represented by Jenny Bent of the Bent Agency. Most happy.

  18. #93
    careful...you'll end up in my novel RuthD's Avatar
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    Oh, Sissy! That is very ... creative!
    My blog: Readatouille

  19. #94
    practical experience, FTW SheilaJG's Avatar
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    What a great way to start my day! Love it, Sissy!

    something

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