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Nathaniel Katz

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Hmm. Reading again, this time without the expectations of reaching the worst line ever at the end, I will say that it changes the tone a fair bit. Without it, I like how the twist comes clear in the non-italicized portion on its own. With it, it's a bit of a broadly grinning gotcha! moment a bit after most readers have probably worked out what was happening. Still, though, I wouldn't say it's so incongruous that, were I an uninformed reader, I'd instantly spot foul play or a horribly botched ending.
 

alexshvartsman

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Thanks a lot, everyone. Based on the feedback I e-mailed the editor explaining my grievance and asking if she would consider removing the line. Hopefully she'll be persuaded by my arguments
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Izz

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Bad last line.

I can see why the editor thought there might be a need for an extra sentence--the ending felt a touch abrupt, otherwise--but the one added wasn't so good. Plus, it's bad form to add content without at least notifying you and giving you the option to yea or nay. Though, check your contract, because there are a few venues that reserve the right to change stuff without notifying the author. I stay well clear of those places.
 
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shelleyo

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Clever story, Alex!

I'm very much in agreement about the last line. If the editor wanted to add something, a much more subtle hint was called for. Without an ellipsis.

Shelley
 

Izz

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Clever story, Alex!

I'm very much in agreement about the last line. If the editor wanted to add something, a much more subtle hint was called for. Without an ellipsis.

Shelley
An overly long ellipsis too, it must be said.
 

shelleyo

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An overly long ellipsis too, it must be said.

Yes....it must be said.

Perhaps it wasn't an ellipsis, but a period with a stutter.

Adding a line without the okay of the writer, adding such an unnecessary and tin ear-ish line, and adding an error...I'd be a little bit like angry Donald.

Hopefully she'll remove it.

Shelley
 

defcon6000

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If any of you take the time to read the story, could you please tell me if you think I'm right or if I am really off the mark and the editor had made an improvement? The sentence she added starts at "All thanks..."

I took a peek at their submission guidelines and at the bottom it reads:
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Sometimes we find a story we like, but it may need a bit more work. If you're willing to work with us and don't mind rewriting (this is not a guarantee of acceptance), then[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] this is the place for you[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]. If you think your story is perfect and not open to our suggestions or comments,[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] leave now.[/FONT][FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif] While we often accept stories just as they are, our Copy Editor usually finds something to 'fix'...(this is for you comma addicts out there....or those of you who can't resist putting 'he said' by every bit of dialog). We are a friendly group, normally, but rules are rules. Follow them and you will have our adoration. Otherwise, well, PMS around here means 'presented manuscript substandard'. or publish (your) manuscript somewhere (else).[/FONT]
It's nice that they want to help writers, but it sounds like if they want to "fix" something then they'll damn well fix it. No ifs, ands, or buts.
 

Izz

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An overly long ellipsis too, it must be said.
To be fair, i shouldn't make comments like this. I'm certain there'll be grammatical errors in the first issue of C&C (and every one thereafter), some probably quite obvious, and that i'll spot as soon as they're pointed out to me, but not before.
 

Polenth

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I can see why the editor thought there might be a need for an extra sentence--the ending felt a touch abrupt, otherwise--but the one added wasn't so good. Plus, it's bad form to add content without at least notifying you and giving you the option to yea or nay. Though, check your contract, because there are a few venues that reserve the right to change stuff without notifying the author. I stay well clear of those places.

I avoid markets like that too. So far, every market wanting wording changes has asked. Most who wanted to correct typos also asked. And in some cases where they have a policy of the author signing off on proofs, I've been asked to okay edits where they haven't changed anything. Most places are careful about this, as they want the author to be happy.

An overly long ellipsis too, it must be said.

You'll have to......pry my..dots..from my cold dead fingers..... ((hoards))...((/hoards))
 

Lillie

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Great story, Alex.
Congratulations.

But I agree, there's no real need for that last line.

Far more subtle without it.
 

mfowler76

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Sam: Belated CONGRATS!

Alex: I liked your story without the additional line at the end, and I don't understand why the editor didn't consult you first. My story "Breathe" was in the GVM spring issue, and I had a couple discusssions with the editor via email regarding potential revisions before publication.
 

Lillie

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Congratulations to you both!

I've read both your stories. They're great!
 

pangalactic

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Congrats everyone, particularly you WoTF-ers! I still haven't heard a peep from them yet, but having looked again at the website I think I entered in the 3rd Quarter as the first one seems to run from October.
 
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Sagana

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Hi Alex. I like your story better without editorial intrusions as well.

Congrats Milo and Lizard. I read your story Lizard, and enjoyed it very much.
 

alexshvartsman

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Just a quick update: GVM graciously removed the extra line from my story today. I really appreciate everyone's feedback and advice as to how to best handle the situation. You folks are awesome :)
 

Lillie

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Yay!

Great result, Alex :)
 

Lizardmaker

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Congrats, Anne! (It's pre-W1S1, right?)

That's a nice looking publication, isn't it?

Shelley

Thanks, Shelley. Yes, I subbed it before I joined W1S1.

I'm glad to see Juniper Tree looking so nice. It's a worthy replacement for the late, lamented Crow Toes Quarterly, in which I also had a story. Some of the same artists, too.

I appreciate you guys reading "Skinny Old Doug." Means a lot to me.
 

Sagana

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It's a nice looking magazine with several good stories, but I really thought Skinny Old Doug was the best story in it :)
 
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