Do You Think You Could Respond To This?

Naked? Are you aware that I am wearing a pair of socks?

Did anyone notice my birthmark shaped like the state of Florida?

Are you sure that is actually Florida? Did you specify that when they gave you that tattoo? Do you realize what that LOOKS LIKE???? *blushes*

OMFG, are you trying to tell me that he -- no, really?

Ladies, are you through comparing each others tattoos?

Why do people have tattoos?

So people can tell them apart?

Do you mean to say that there's no other way to distinguish individuals other than examining their tattoos?

Well, don't most people look alike, except for height, weight, age, skin color, hair color, eye color, nose shape and a few other minor details?

Is that not how racing Thoroughbreds are identified?

Wot, you sayin' all horses look alike?

Or are you saying that people look like horses?

Well, some people do, don't they?

The royal family, for example?

Why do you choose to cast aspersions on the nobility?

Are any of you people noble?

Most of us, alas are mere commoners, but have you heard that Nymtoc is actually the Grand Duke Nymtoc Alexandrovitch Romanov?

When did I give you permission to reveal the truth about my heritage?

Uh..could that have been around the time when I found those incriminating love letters you exchanged with the Tzarina?

Didn't you promise to keep all that quiet after I managed to get you lifetime seats at the Bolshoi?

Lifetime seats at the Bolshoi, huh? So, tell me what's so special about sitting in the last row in the third balcony behind a pillar next to a three hundred pound brute named Boris who stinks of vodka and snores throughout most of the performances? Is this a reason to keep my mouth shut?

Why didn't you tell me about Boris before? Don't you know that, with my connections in the old KGB, I might have managed to...um...eliminate the problem?

And exactly how do you intend to eliminate the problem, considering a fact that you probably aren't aware of--that Boris is Vladimir Putin's brother-in-law?

Don't you think that we they have methods that are undetectable, even with today's technology?

Fine, go ahead. Liquidate Boris, then. It's no skin off my rear. But you still haven't promised me better seats at the Bolshoi, have you?