Cum vs. come

Someone mentioned noticing guys using 'cum' more often than not. I decided to pay attention when asked to look at their writing on another website. Dead on accurate. LOL

I don't know if it sprang from early exposure to "Letters to Penthouse" or what...but 99% of the time that is what I see.

Oh certainly. I just found it interesting, that's all. Whatever the editor wants...

Anything other than bewbs or ladygarden is just ewww.

*thumbs through Scarlett's book and tallies 'ewww' instances*

*laughs at Steve reading the newwwwwwwwwwwwwspaper*

Maryn said:

It is interesting, the words that 'do it' for a man and how they differ from the ones women prefer.
I'm not fond of tits or cunt, but plenty of guys love those words.

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Indeed, the mother of my future children told me after our first time that what really tipped her decision was that I said 'breasts' instead of 'tits'. She said she'd never heard a guy my age say that before.

I'd prefer to think as erotica as an art-form using sex and sexual encounters, which use good literary devices and extremely strong writing. I think of porn as simple writing that uses the sex as the only reason there's a plot.

Everyone who wants to make a distinction between porn and erotica has their own (often eloquently stated) definition of what the differences are between the two. But go back and read everyone's definitions, and no two of them are the same. Where you draw the line is different from where the next person draws their line. One person's erotica is another person's porn.

There's a continuum of sex writing, from well written material that serves the plot and/or characterization on one end, to complete and utter shite on the other. If you want to draw a line somewhere down the middle of that continuum, and call the sex writing on one side of it "erotica" and the sex writing on the other side "porn" that's up to you. Just understand that where you draw that line is subjective. You will not, and can not, get to a universally agreed upon and accepted definition of what the differences are.

I write stories that include explicit, on-screen sex. I happen to think I do it reasonably well. But whether you want to label my sex writing "erotica" or "porn" is your issue, not mine.

Whether I use "come" or "cum" depends on house style. One of mine uses "cum." The other doesn't. If I'm sending to the pub that does, I'll change all instances of the noun to "cum" before sending. (While I don't find it vulgar or offensive, I don't write that way, either.)

I always find it funny how people will point at something described by the author as erotica and say "How dare they call it erotica, it's just porn!" but you never see anyone doing the same to self-defined porn.

"How dare they call it porn, it's got plot and character arcs and beautiful use of language! That's clearly erotica! It's false advertising, is what it is!"

Cum mentula veni.

Aaand now I am fleeing.

KathleenD said:

On my own, working in online video games, I've also noticed that anyone spelling a particular endearment as "hun" as opposed to "hon" or typing out the whole word "honey" was always a biological male - even if presenting as a woman. No exceptions that I've seen in ten years of such work. The one time I saw a woman spelling it that way, I later learned that the woman was a post-op transsexual - someone born a male.

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I see women writing "hun" all the time. That spelling drives me nuts.

I think either is okay, come what may.

Boston Steve said:

There's a continuum of sex writing, from well written material that serves the plot and/or characterization on one end, to complete and utter shite on the other. If you want to draw a line somewhere down the middle of that continuum, and call the sex writing on one side of it "erotica" and the sex writing on the other side "porn" that's up to you. Just understand that where you draw that line is subjective. You will not, and can not, get to a universally agreed upon and accepted definition of what the differences are.

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On top of that, I think the measure of erotica vs. porn is orthogonal to quality. After all, you scan have good porn and shitty erotica. I always consider it a question of how sex interacts with the plot and the characters that determines which "side" it falls.

And beyond that, I think something can be pornographic without being porn.

As for the come vs. cum debate? I suppose I consider "cum" a slang form of "come." Treat it like other slang. Is the voice in your novel such that you'd use "ain't" in the narrative? Go for "cum." No? Probably better to use "come."

I think of visuals as "porn" and writing as "erotica."

Fruitbat said:

I think of visuals as "porn" and writing as "erotica."

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There are definitely erotic films that aren't porn. The Dreamers and Tokyo Decadence to name a couple of my favorites. The same is true in painting, photography, etc.

I have read books with come/cum being used both ways. I'm not sure why but I prefer to see cum being used. I don't think of cum as being pornographic. Cum makes me think of sex not come.

I probably wouldn't use 'cum', simply because it reminds me too much of the 70's hardcore porn mags that were my first real introduction to graphic sex. Which were more laughable than arousing. I'll use 'come' as a noun or verb more often, but I'm fond of trying other words, depending on the setting: 'spending', 'release', 'issue', etc.

The words cum and cumming remind me of dirty chat room lingo or pornographic e-mail spam.

Maryn said:

It is interesting, the words that 'do it' for a man and how they differ from the ones women prefer.

I'm not fond of tits or cunt, but plenty of guys love those words.

Maryn, purveyor of fine filth

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Hmm, interesting. Now I can't stand the word cunt. Don't find it offensive, just not sexy. But I love tits. Not sure why. I hardly write or say the word breasts. It is either tits or boobs.

But many people have told me I speak more like a guy. I do swear more than any man I know.

'Tits' makes me giggle. It just seems a bit...playground. I couldn't imagine a grown man saying it and making me horny.

Then again, I can't think of any word for breasts that doesn't make me laugh. Difficult body part to describe, those.

scarletpeaches said:

'Tits' makes me giggle. It just seems a bit...playground. I couldn't imagine a grown man saying it and making me horny.

Then again, I can't think of any word for breasts that doesn't make me laugh. Difficult body part to describe, those.

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If James Purefoy said, "Present your tits so I can flog them, bitch!" I'm pretty sure it would make you horny.