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Looking for Beta Partner

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lbender

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I am interested in finding someone, or ones, to exchange work with. The way that I critique concentrates mostly on flow, plot, character development, and whether or not the whole story hangs together. If something doesn't fit, like the wristwatch in the Middle Ages, I'll tell you. Unless, of course, it involves time travel.

I need someone to do the same for me. If there are obvious grammar or spelling problems (there shouldn't be), fine, but that's not the focus.

I've done this before, and one thing I really need is someone who will do as they say. If you tell me that you'll have a section back by the end of the week, I'll expect it then. If you tell me that you'll work as fast as you can, but have other responsibilities, that's fine. I do, too. As long as it doesn't get into weeks and months for a 5000 word segment.

I will expect you to be honest, as I will be, although meanness is just mean. Fawning accomplishes nothing.

I read and enjoy most things, although not horror. If I want that, I just turn on the news.

What I'll want to do is exchange a few thousand words to begin, so as to judge whether our mutual writing and crit styles will mesh well.

The work I'm interested in getting checked at this time is a kidnapping story. I've appended a short hook and the first few hundred words to give you an idea of my writing. Please PM me if you're interested.


When Emily Jacobs wakes to the realization that she has been abducted, she is paralyzed by fear and remembered childhood terrors. But her paralysis passes, for she is no longer a child and her fears just get in the way. The only question remaining is whether she will be able to identify her captors and cut her way out of the prison they’ve constructed in the time she has left, or not.



He waited.

It was still and tranquil under the trees. The only sound was a quiet drip, a remnant of the drizzle that had just passed through. There was little light. The road passed by not far away, but there were no streetlights and the clouds blocked what little the moon and stars would have provided.

The houses were larger out here, and farther apart. Funny…growing up in Brooklyn, he had always pictured Long Island as filled with sand, stunted pine trees and scrub, redolent of salt and sea. He looked about. He was surrounded by oak and maple and birch, engulfed with the smells of rotting leaves and rich loam. He had known, intellectually, that there were forests and fields and farms, but he was still somewhat surprised to actually see them.

Traffic on the LIE had been unusually light and he’d arrived earlier than expected. His car was tucked out of sight behind a screen of trees and bushes. He had even draped mottled brown and green towels over windows and lights that faced the road, so as to eliminate reflections, just in case an infrequent vehicle happened by.

He was more nervous than he thought he’d be. He had anticipated some adrenalin, enough so that he had made sure to go to the bathroom before leaving, but he knew he was ready. He had taken up more than two years in planning and preparation and had spent more than he had expected, but everything on his list had been checked off and all that remained was to begin.

He shifted his weight a bit and resettled his vest. Twenty pounds of lead dug in after a while.

He had half-believed that he was wasting his time, that he would never go through with it. After all, he had never been much of a chance-taker. His money was in money markets and cd’s. Everything he’d done had been pretty staid and routine. His job had paid the bills enough to make him comfortable, but not much more. He’d never tried his own business, although he might have been able to do very well. It would have taken a lot of time, and, frankly, he didn’t like what he was doing all that much.

But she should be along soon, and he was ready.

So, he waited.
 
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