Are congratulations in order?
Well, gag me with a spoon!
Today I received a large white envelope from PA. It contained a release contract written by Brian Winfrey(??)
The cover letter reads as follows:
"You have asked...yada, yada, yada and terminate your contract. Based on your request, we have temporarily put sales of your book on hold."
OMG when did they ever start selling my book is what I'd like to know. I still get two or three e-mail solicitations a week. Anyway...
"Before we make discontinuation of sales permanent, however, we require that you sign the enclosed ..."
Yaaa!!
So I eagerly read the SETTLEMENT AGREEMENT AND RELEASE.
RECITALS
WHEREAS, yada, yada, yada...to the 14 January 2008 agreement("Publishing Contract").
WHEREAS, all parties are desirous of terminating the Publishing contract.
NOW THEREFORE, for good and valuable consideration, the receipt and sufficiency of which are hereby acknowledged, the parties agree as follows:
Wrap your head around that one will 'ya?
1.Release
"In consideration of the agreements...Author on behalf of himself and his assigns, heirs, administrators, executors, trustees, agents, and represenatives, hereby fully and forever releases, remises, acquits and discharges Publisher and..."
My brain hurts already!! "its predecessors, successors, assigns, affiliates, trustees, directors, officers, employees, partners, attorneys, and agents..."
Migrain, migrain!!
"from any and all claims of any kind or character, at law or in eqity, whether known or unknown, accrued (?) or not, present or future, in connection with, arising out of or in any way involving the Contract including any pre-contract representations."
This guy is really getting his moneys worth!
2.Transfer of Publication Rights and Release of Publication Obligations
Upon Author's compliance with his obligations in paragraph 3 herein, all terms of the Publishing Contract except the forum selection provisions are deemed terminated and of no further force or effect. "All yada,yada,yada... under the Publishing contract."
Come on! ALL except? Then that's not All in my book!
"Publisher shall not be liable to Author for sales of copies of the Book which were printed prior to the termination of the publication rights or resales of books printed and sold by PA prior to such termination."
So you kind folks who are complaining that PA continued to sell your book after your contract was released or expired. Here is your answer. My question is why have they printed books when three Royalty statements in a row say that I haven't sold any. Why haven't they paid me royalties on 10 copies book sellers have told me they have bought and have on hand? Any way...
3. Confidentiality and non-disparagement provision
This is where it gets interesting folks!
"Author agrees that he, his agents, attorneys, employees or family members will only represent that the relationship between Author and Publisher was "dissolved amicably" and will not disparage Publisher in any manner whatsoever, or host, maintain and/or post a message to any Internet web sites and/or message boards in which the content disparages or mentions Publisher in any manner whatsoever; Author will also remove any messages posted by him on the internet or in any other forum concerning Publisher."
Are you kidding me? A gag clause!
"Author acknowledges that the breach of this provision will give rise to irreparable injury to the Company inadequately compensable in damages. "Accordingly, the Company..."
Where did the Publisher go? "may seek and obtain injunctive relief against the breach or threatened breach of the undertakings set forth herein,..." ..."Author ... are necessary for the protection of the Company's legitimate business interest and are reasonable in scope and content."
Well thats as far as I wanted to read. There is more but its redundant. I was fooled by these silver tounged devils once but it will not happen again.
Needless to say I accomplished what I set out to do. I can bury my dead book and get on with the business of putting my package together for the KY AG. Now I have their official document to include.
SO! Get out the cookies and popcorn. We have reason to celebrate. Dave if you want a copy of this pathetic attempt to shut me up I'll send you one. For the PA wallflys: where are your morals and principles? Why can't you just say "here is your book back. Goodby!"? Your rediculious disclaimers are second only to the major pharmacutical companies.
I'll continue my quest for justice. They have reinspired me. Thank you and goodnight,this narcolepticgi is headed for the comforts of his dragonden.