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Hello people! I had a question about starting a new paragraph when a new person is speaking. I tried to look this question up, but I couldn't figure out the right way to word it. :/
I guess my question is really when to start a new paragraph because to start a new one every time someone speaks doesn't feel right. It seems like it should be separated by character, not by character speech. But what do I know...
I think it's easiest to ask this by an example so here are two passages to work with.
Passage 1 Version A
"That's not how it works, sweetie. You can't find me. You must not. Promise me you won't look for me. You'll only get your heart broken."
I felt pressure in my chest and tears welled in my eyes. That was the worst thing she could have said. "Mom, I can't. Why would I ever promise that? I need answers. Why won't you explain why fire doesn't burn me? Why won't you tell me where you are?" I let the tears fall down my cheeks that I would have never let come down in real life.
"You know why I can't tell you that. This isn't real. I'm not real."
Passage 1 Version B
"That's not how it works, sweetie. You can't find me. You must not. Promise me you won't look for me. You'll only get your heart broken."
I felt pressure in my chest and tears welled in my eyes. That was the worst thing she could have said.
"Mom, I can't. Why would I ever promise that? I need answers. Why won't you explain why fire doesn't burn me? Why won't you tell me where you are?"
I let the tears fall down my cheeks that I would have never let come down in real life.
"You know why I can't tell you that. This isn't real. I'm not real."
Passage 2 Version A
While I tried to keep my hair out of my eyes, Mark kept his gaze stubbornly straight on the road. Tension showed in the stiffness of his shoulders and his white-knuckled grip on the reigns. When he finally broke the silence he said, "I'm sorry."
Instead if saying something stupid like "finally", I just looked at him and hoped he would elaborate.
He kept his eyes firmly forward but continued to talk. "I should have tried harder. I just...I don't want you to think that Kristine and I don't care about you. We just don't have anything left to offer you."
"I know. I get it." I didn't really, but he was trying so hard I couldn't be mean.
Mark's face looked pained as he abruptly shifted the reigns to one hand and put his free hand over my own. He turned his dark brown eyes onto me and said the kindest thing I think he'd ever said to me. "I hope you do know, and I hope you don't forget where you came from."
Passage 2 Version B
While I tried to keep my hair out of my eyes, Mark kept his gaze stubbornly straight on the road. Tension showed in the stiffness of his shoulders and his white-knuckled grip on the reigns.
When he finally broke the silence he said, "I'm sorry."
Instead if saying something stupid like "finally", I just looked at him and hoped he would elaborate.
He kept his eyes firmly forward but continued to talk.
"I should have tried harder. I just...I don't want you to think that Kristine and I don't care about you. We just don't have anything left to offer you."
"I know. I get it." I didn't really, but he was trying so hard I couldn't be mean.
Mark's face looked pained as he abruptly shifted the reigns to one hand and put his free hand over my own. He turned his dark brown eyes onto me and said the kindest thing I think he'd ever said to me.
"I hope you do know, and I hope you don't forget where you came from."
I'm really having trouble with this so any advice would be great. Also, there is the option of Version C-none of the above/you suck at life Wistful. ;P
I guess my question is really when to start a new paragraph because to start a new one every time someone speaks doesn't feel right. It seems like it should be separated by character, not by character speech. But what do I know...
I think it's easiest to ask this by an example so here are two passages to work with.
Passage 1 Version A
"That's not how it works, sweetie. You can't find me. You must not. Promise me you won't look for me. You'll only get your heart broken."
I felt pressure in my chest and tears welled in my eyes. That was the worst thing she could have said. "Mom, I can't. Why would I ever promise that? I need answers. Why won't you explain why fire doesn't burn me? Why won't you tell me where you are?" I let the tears fall down my cheeks that I would have never let come down in real life.
"You know why I can't tell you that. This isn't real. I'm not real."
Passage 1 Version B
"That's not how it works, sweetie. You can't find me. You must not. Promise me you won't look for me. You'll only get your heart broken."
I felt pressure in my chest and tears welled in my eyes. That was the worst thing she could have said.
"Mom, I can't. Why would I ever promise that? I need answers. Why won't you explain why fire doesn't burn me? Why won't you tell me where you are?"
I let the tears fall down my cheeks that I would have never let come down in real life.
"You know why I can't tell you that. This isn't real. I'm not real."
Passage 2 Version A
While I tried to keep my hair out of my eyes, Mark kept his gaze stubbornly straight on the road. Tension showed in the stiffness of his shoulders and his white-knuckled grip on the reigns. When he finally broke the silence he said, "I'm sorry."
Instead if saying something stupid like "finally", I just looked at him and hoped he would elaborate.
He kept his eyes firmly forward but continued to talk. "I should have tried harder. I just...I don't want you to think that Kristine and I don't care about you. We just don't have anything left to offer you."
"I know. I get it." I didn't really, but he was trying so hard I couldn't be mean.
Mark's face looked pained as he abruptly shifted the reigns to one hand and put his free hand over my own. He turned his dark brown eyes onto me and said the kindest thing I think he'd ever said to me. "I hope you do know, and I hope you don't forget where you came from."
Passage 2 Version B
While I tried to keep my hair out of my eyes, Mark kept his gaze stubbornly straight on the road. Tension showed in the stiffness of his shoulders and his white-knuckled grip on the reigns.
When he finally broke the silence he said, "I'm sorry."
Instead if saying something stupid like "finally", I just looked at him and hoped he would elaborate.
He kept his eyes firmly forward but continued to talk.
"I should have tried harder. I just...I don't want you to think that Kristine and I don't care about you. We just don't have anything left to offer you."
"I know. I get it." I didn't really, but he was trying so hard I couldn't be mean.
Mark's face looked pained as he abruptly shifted the reigns to one hand and put his free hand over my own. He turned his dark brown eyes onto me and said the kindest thing I think he'd ever said to me.
"I hope you do know, and I hope you don't forget where you came from."
I'm really having trouble with this so any advice would be great. Also, there is the option of Version C-none of the above/you suck at life Wistful. ;P