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Thread: The Bouncy Castle in Space

  1. #3001
    practical experience, FTW heza's Avatar
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    I grew up in the country, and whenever we lost a pet, we had a burial and a little ceremony kind of thing for us kids to remember them and sort of say goodbye.

    After my mom died, we took the grandkids to her graveside and they each wrote her name on a ballon, said something they rememberd about her, then released the balloon...

    I'm just guessing that you probably don't have remains, but maybe any kind of ceremony to properly mark the event might help provide some closure.

    I don't know. I'm not really good at this kind of thing.

    *hugs* though, for sure.
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  2. #3002
    practical experience, FTW sissybaby's Avatar
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    Spiral - I feel so sad for your son and what he must be going through. It is so hard to lose our pets, because they are part of the family.

    Last winter one of our horses died, and of course my son and his dad were the ones that went out to feed them and found him. (son had just turned 11). It was so cold, and the ground was frozen so hard, that we couldn't bury the horse for several days, which made things even worse.

    I took him out away from everyone, and told him he could get out of the car and do whatever he wanted to deal with his anger and pain. He could yell, cry, scream, throw things, or just walk. I would leave him alone until he was ready to come back to the car.

    He looked at me like I was nuts, and said he was okay, but I knew he wasn't. So we came home and I found pictures of him with the horse and we made a collage. I know that won't work with a lot of boys, but he likes crafty ideas, and that's what he decided to do.

    I know these may be dumb ideas, but just trying to be helpful if I can. Every kid works things out in their own way.

  3. #3003
    Kidlit gang, Junior member. MJWare's Avatar
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    When I was a kid (a few years old than your son). A big fire swept through our street. The smoke was so thick that standing next to my house I thought it was gone. Turns out, my house was fine, but my best friend's was mostly burnt down.

    I sat on the curb next to him while he cried (oh, and I punched--or at least took a swing at--every reporter who tried to get a shot of him).

    All I could really do afterwards was try to be there to help out. He was pretty down about it for months.

    I guess my point is that I'm not sure how much more you can do. Just make yourself available, let him know it's okay to cry (it sounds like you're probably doing those).
    I still keep in contact with my friend and of course he's fine--just a slight aversion to fireworks (which were the cause).

    While kids are resilient, I've always been in favor of consoling too. Sometimes just having someone other than your parents that you can talk to helps out.

    Not sure if that's really good advice or not, but I figured my experience is sorta related.

  4. #3004
    King of the Kitties Quentin Nokov's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ferret View Post
    Oh, Spiral, my heart breaks for your son. I don't know if I really have any good advice to offer, but maybe you could set aside some time to talk about the pets and remember the good times you had and what made them special. Maybe spending some time at an animal shelter volunteering with other animals might help, although his age might be a problem. For me, at least, doing something active to help out has helped me deal with the loss of pets.
    When I lost a beloved pet of mine remembering them made me even more sad, and I think due to the traumatic way the pets were loss. He's probably overcome by guilt. I know everyone heals different, and I'm not saying your pets should be forgotten about, but I think the best form of coping would be to try and focus on something else. I don't know where you're staying Spiral, but replacement kitty-cats or puppy-dogs would do a significant amount of healing, in my opinion. He needs a new pet to focus on; something that will bring him joy and numb the pain of your recent loss, but that's just my two cents. Replacements have always sprung me back onto my feet. I don't know how long to wait/grief but he needs to be preoccupied, methinks.
    Last edited by Quentin Nokov; 03-02-2012 at 06:35 AM.
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  5. #3005
    practical experience, FTW MsJudy's Avatar
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    I'm with mware. Boys can be hard, especially at that age. Too much pressure to react in a certain way can just push them deeper into themselves. Come to think of it, I'm that way, even though I'm a girl. I remember when I was about 8 or 10, one of our cats got hit by a car. I was just stunned. My sister gave me sh** for months because I didn't cry about the cat... She just couldn't understand that for me the grief was too big. Crying was for when you fall down and scrape your knee. Crying wasn't adequate for losing the cat.

    Just be there for your son. He'll talk when he's ready, I think.
    represented by Jenny Bent of the Bent Agency. Most happy.

  6. #3006
    King of the Kitties Quentin Nokov's Avatar
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    Time heals. Maybe you can get him something he likes. A handheld video game. I don't think too many boys are in to stuffed animals, but in case he's the type it might add some comfort. If he's a writer like you maybe get him some nice new notebooks. I think if I were in the situation I'd try to come up with something he really likes and kind of go all out. I know you might be strapped for cash, but taking some and spending it on him will probably mean a lot to him, too. He's lost everything of his and to have something to start over with--and not just from charity or hand-me-downs--I think would probably mean a lot. Just a thought. I'm know physiologist here, just giving my two cents.


    ETA: You know, Spiral if you need help I'm sure posters here on AW will be here for you. We might not be able to do a lot, but I know a lot of us would send you things if we knew where to donate to.

    Not that I mean to upset you, but I just wanted to confirm without a shadow of a doubt the following article does in fact relate to your home.

    http://www.therecord.com/news/local/...dge-house-fire

    If you want--I got to also check with Macallister first--But if she approves I could make a page here on AW including an address so anyone willing to donate can. If there's anything in particular you're in need of, let me know so I can include it in the post. I do feel compelled to help, however if you'll be fine and your community has been an enormous help I can refrain from posting a notice to other members. It's up to you.
    Last edited by Quentin Nokov; 03-02-2012 at 07:50 AM.
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  7. #3007
    Reads more than she writes. AW Moderator Smish's Avatar
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    More hugs for Spiral.

    And throwing in extras for anyone else who may need one.
    Revision is where you earn your money - and if you haven't made any money yet, revision is where you pay your dues. Sara Zarr

  8. #3008
    looking at the stars Spiral's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone, each of your responses was very much appreciated. I think that my problem is, as a mom, I just wish I could put a band-aid on it and kiss it better, but of course, that won't work for this. I guess I'm afraid of making things worse. tonight things were better, and he does have a councillor at school, so I guess it's just the time factor needed.

    Quentin, that is indeed my house. I appreciate your kindness, but yes, our community has been wonderful. The kids are ok for clothes and we have a roof over our heads, and the most important thing, we are all safe. But you have my gratitude for thinking of us.
    Last edited by Spiral; 03-02-2012 at 05:59 PM.

  9. #3009
    King of the Kitties Quentin Nokov's Avatar
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    I actually told my mother about it and she said that at eleven children are really just finding their identity and losing his things might have. . .I don't know hindered it or wounded it? Eh, I don't know who the psycho-analyze that, but she made a good point, I thought.

    If you need any help later Spiral don't hesitate to just ask. I already okayed it with MacAllister. I can put something in the Bulletin Board at your request.

    I live 95 miles / two hours away from you. It's a hope, skip over a bridge and the border. I guess being so close makes me wish I could lend a helping hand. On the internet that almost equivalent to you being my neighbor. Lol.
    Roxanne & Murdoch


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  10. #3010
    Reads more than she writes. AW Moderator Smish's Avatar
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    Just bouncing in to say I hope our members in the path of severe thunderstorms and tornadoes today are all safe.
    Revision is where you earn your money - and if you haven't made any money yet, revision is where you pay your dues. Sara Zarr

  11. #3011
    practical experience, FTW starbeam's Avatar
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    I'm safe, although the towns 150 miles south of me were devastated. I really hope they're okay. I do know at least 14 people from Indiana died. Can I light a candle for the families who have lost property or loved ones?
    Originally posted by Ona Mission
    Erhm...I mean NOOOO! Not unquestionable at...all! Everything in the sub-basement is uber tastelessful. Trust Rocky. He loves victims suckers pubbers who trust him.

  12. #3012
    Kidlit gang, Junior member. MJWare's Avatar
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    Spiral,
    I know I'm encroaching on the unsolicited advice line, but I thought it worth mentioning, if you still have some concerns, say a couple months out, you might try a different counselor--and if you did feel the need to do that, maybe try a male one--might make him feel more at ease.
    But I doubt it will come to that!

    Speaking of school counselors, can anyone recall the name of the book about a kid who constantly lies and the school counselor who helps him out, only all the parents get all bent out of shape and want her fired?

    I't's a great book and I want to read it again, but I can't recall the tile; something like, Tthe Boy Who Couldn't Tell The Truth, but that's not it.

  13. #3013
    Reads more than she writes. AW Moderator Smish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by starbeam View Post
    I'm safe, although the towns 150 miles south of me were devastated. I really hope they're okay. I do know at least 14 people from Indiana died. Can I light a candle for the families who have lost property or loved ones?
    Good idea.

    We had hail and wind damage, but were definitely lucky. I went to my parents' house (two hours from my house) since they have a basement, so I'm not sure about my own house, yet (I probably won't go home until tomorrow). But I'm told no tornadoes touched down on my side of town (and the tornadoes that there were didn't injure anyone in my town).
    Revision is where you earn your money - and if you haven't made any money yet, revision is where you pay your dues. Sara Zarr

  14. #3014
    practical experience, FTW sissybaby's Avatar
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    I've heard from part of my Tennessee relatives. One was missed by three miles, the brother was missed, but the house down from him got hit. Still have many there that I haven't heard from, especially south of Franklin, and as they are elderly, I worry.

    Starbeam - light all the candles you want! They all need whatever we can give them.

    Glad you're okay, Smishy and Starbeam.

    MWare - was it There's a Boy in the Girl's Bathroom? I don't recall the author's name.

  15. #3015
    Kidlit gang, Junior member. MJWare's Avatar
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    Wow, I being out her in Cali it was a while before I saw what happened with those storms back east!

    Quote Originally Posted by sissybaby View Post
    MWare - was it There's a Boy in the Girl's Bathroom? I don't recall the author's name.
    Yes Sissy, that's the one; Louis Sachar of Holes fame.

    Great book, terrible cover:

  16. #3016
    practical experience, FTW starbeam's Avatar
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    Starbeam - light all the candles you want! They all need whatever we can give them.
    *lights candle, prays.*

    I really hope all your family is okay, Sissy. I'm hoping to donate something to the relief efforts. I've never lived so close to a natural disaster before.
    Originally posted by Ona Mission
    Erhm...I mean NOOOO! Not unquestionable at...all! Everything in the sub-basement is uber tastelessful. Trust Rocky. He loves victims suckers pubbers who trust him.

  17. #3017
    King of the Kitties Quentin Nokov's Avatar
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    We got high winds here from the storms. Gusts went up to 70mph. We usually let the cats play outside until curfew but we locked them indoors all day yesterday. We didn't want them blown away (lol) especially our littlest one who's picture is in my siggy.

    We've had a ridiculously ridiculously warm winter so I'm wondering how that's going to affect our spring and summer. Usually when we don't have a winter we don't have a summer. Bah!


    @mware: that is a terrible cover.
    Roxanne & Murdoch


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  18. #3018
    i luv you giant bear statue AW Moderator Kitty Pryde's Avatar
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    Just poking my head in to say hello, I'm still alive! I've been feeling awful all week, and trying to survive a high-stress week at work took up all my energy. Feeling much recovered now, and I went up and taught an adaptive skiing lesson yesterday. Hope everyone else is doing very well this weekend!

    Oh, just had to share. My little sweet second grade student, who has autism and is very silly and dramatic and loves movies, has fallen in love with the Hunger Games movie poster. The poster has a picture of Katniss aiming a bow and arrow. He thinks the movie (and poster) features a hero called "Hunger Boy" (I suppose that is a reasonable guess, even thought it's totally wrong ). My coworker sent me pictures of the kiddo rocking his Hunger Boy pose that have been cracking me up all weekend. I think his version of the movie will probably be better than the actual movie!
    Last edited by Kitty Pryde; 03-05-2012 at 01:00 AM.

  19. #3019
    Reads more than she writes. AW Moderator Smish's Avatar
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    Glad you're feeling recovered, Kitty!

    So, I just got home... and my house was hammered in the storms. It looks like someone shot at my house with a machine gun. There are countless holes in the siding (you can see more wood now than siding) and I have a broken window. But there's no interior damage and the cat is okay, so I'm counting my blessings.
    Revision is where you earn your money - and if you haven't made any money yet, revision is where you pay your dues. Sara Zarr

  20. #3020
    King of the Kitties Quentin Nokov's Avatar
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    Good to know your kitty is okay. Do you have any home owners insurance that will cover the damage?
    Roxanne & Murdoch


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  21. #3021
    Reads more than she writes. AW Moderator Smish's Avatar
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    The landlord will take care of it.
    Revision is where you earn your money - and if you haven't made any money yet, revision is where you pay your dues. Sara Zarr

  22. #3022
    practical experience, FTW starbeam's Avatar
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    Wow Smish, I'm so glad you and your kitty are okay! I hope you have plenty of warm things in the meanwhile before your landlord fixes things. Stay safe!
    Originally posted by Ona Mission
    Erhm...I mean NOOOO! Not unquestionable at...all! Everything in the sub-basement is uber tastelessful. Trust Rocky. He loves victims suckers pubbers who trust him.

  23. #3023
    careful...you'll end up in my novel RuthD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smish View Post
    So, I just got home... and my house was hammered in the storms. It looks like someone shot at my house with a machine gun. There are countless holes in the siding (you can see more wood now than siding) and I have a broken window. But there's no interior damage and the cat is okay, so I'm counting my blessings.
    Oh, my... glad you and the cat are okay!
    My blog: Readatouille

  24. #3024
    practical experience, FTW MsJudy's Avatar
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    Oh, Smish, I'm glad kitty is okay and your house is still standing.

    People like to compare earthquakes and tornados, but I don't see why. Earthquakes--really bad ones--happen once every couple of decades. Tornados keep coming back every year.

    I don't think I could handle that.
    represented by Jenny Bent of the Bent Agency. Most happy.

  25. #3025
    practical experience, FTW sissybaby's Avatar
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    Glad everyone is safe, Smish. Tornadoes terrify me, but they fascinate me at the same time. I've seen a lot of them, but fortunately have never been caught in one. There used to be a farmstead across the road from me, but a tornado took it out years ago.

    I can get my dog to go to the basement, but our cats refuse to go. I worry about them every time we have a major storm.

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