The Daily Rejection

Quickbread: Yahoo! How many is that now? So excited for you.

Thanks, Carleree! So far, it's two fulls and one partial request, and two rejections. One of the fulls is a reread. So much excitement in less than 24 hours. I'm trying to stay cool, but who am I kidding. It's pretty damn exciting.

On top of this, I got kind of a dream job this week, too.

Quickbread said:

I totally agree. This place is like a spoonful of sugar.

So, this afternoon, I was sitting at a navel-gazing conference listening to a panel of debut writers wax poetic about their navels. Luckily, I had a smart phone, so I could check my email obsessively. And I got another full request, and a partial request. It was a pretty productive hour!



Hathor, thanks for the tutoring lesson.

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Glad I accomplished something!

How poetic can navel wax be? Ew. I guess I just don't have it in me to be literary.

About these requests -- wow. You're on a roll. Sure doesn't look like any formatting glitches hurt you!

Yes, I'm up in the middle of the night. I woke up and lay there trying to think how to fix this one sentence in my query. It's kind of clunky and blah right now. I got up to jot down some ideas.

Back to bed.

Crickets. Something's got to give somewhere along the line.

Tri

Quickbread - that is AWESOME!!!! V. proud of you!

I accomplished little, but I did keep up with my running and got a new laptop (my first) - which should soon lead to world domination.

What slush readers would say if they could be honest in rejection letters --

http://matociquala.livejournal.com/1006606.html

My favorite is -- Dear Author: The human body does not do that.

Found something else -- reviewer slams book that was never written. http://www.thelocal.se/5818/20061215

My favorite was:

Dear Author, I have been rejecting you since 2001, and I'm not seeing any signs of improvement. Please take up knitting.

I'd like to find the editors who would like to give me money.

Belated congrats, Quickbread!!

Caralee: I once did a very similar thing to my hair. I ended up chopping it all off and rocking a sweet pixie cut for 6 months or so.

Hathor: I'm proud of you for your perseverance on the Query Hell thing. It's gonna pay off, I know it. PS: Whoever thought your book was set in Scotland was dumb and has poor reading comprehension skills x

My inbox: crickets.

2 more weeks till I get my abna vine reviews. That's at least news that's guaranteed.

carefulwithwords said:

.

Hathor: I'm proud of you for your perseverance on the Query Hell thing. It's gonna pay off, I know it. PS: Whoever thought your book was set in Scotland was dumb and has poor reading comprehension skills x

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A private email to me disclosed another person did as well. I guess if two people thought it was in Scotland... Problem's fixed now, though.

I suppose they couldn't conceive of someone in the US getting a Ph.D. in medieval and early modern Scottish history. Neither could my MC's parents

Hathor said:

I suppose they couldn't conceive of someone in the US getting a Ph.D. in medieval and early modern Scottish history. Neither could my MC's parents

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Exactly. That was the point as far as I read it.

carefulwithwords said:

Exactly. That was the point as far as I read it.

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Yeah, everybody seems to have problems with my MC's motivation. Why does she get that degree? Why does she investigate? Why does she like the rich, witty hunk that seems to be crazy for her? (Really. Makes me wonder if I can write at all. Okay, he's a reputed bad boy, but those sorts do get women in the real world. And he's not really a bad boy. He just seems to be in book one.)

Eh, I shouldn't think about this now. It's an even-numbered day, meaning my work is crap. Who ever heard of a mystery where the sleuth doesn't undertake to solve a murder (but does so anyway) or a romance that plays out over three books?

Quickbread said:

So, this afternoon, I was sitting at a navel-gazing conference listening to a panel of debut writers wax poetic about their navels. Luckily, I had a smart phone, so I could check my email obsessively. And I got another full request, and a partial request. It was a pretty productive hour!

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that's great! feel good about it.

I should have kept my mouth shut. QLH was quiet and so I posted to thank everyone. I had my query! Then someone new showed up suggesting major changes.

I'm feeling better. I now have a beta who is willing to do a line-by-line analysis and she's great. I'm not quite sure what I did to deserve this. Maybe she appreciates wiseassish pedantry.

And I've been brainstorming possibilities for the title of my minor character Hittitologist's dissertation. My current favorite: "Ramesses II was a Big, Fat Liar: The Truth About the Battle of Kadesh." (This one is for you MeretSeger. I'm open to a better suggestion.)

I have depths of geekiness you folks cannot fathom

Bazinga!

Carleree said:

Bazinga!

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Could you translate that from your native Canuck, please

See: Sheldon Cooper of "The Big Bang Theory".

K. Taylor said:

See: Sheldon Cooper of "The Big Bang Theory".

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Oh, I've tried to watch that, but the humor doesn't quite do it for me. Some of the parts are funny, but somehow the show doesn't please me enough to watch regularly.

Yes, I'd make quite a reviewer.

I did like Babylon 5, though. It's one of my favorite shows, ever. It's a favorite of my MC, too. Hunk hasn't seen it, though, and says he wants to watch it all with her. He reads her doctoral dissertation, too. Is this active pursuit or what? MC's new perfume (big in the plot) is a new fragrance from Minbari, and she thinks a "and so it begins" in book two.

If my trilogy ever makes it, someone will have to put out an annotated version explaining all these little allusions I make. MC goes to a movie party and sees The Princess Bride. A couple times she thinks something is inconceivable. Both things happen.

Anyhow, I was so happy with my query, finally. And others seemed to be. And now someone says it's a mess. And yet, this is an odd-numbered day. I shouldn't feel like running away and hiding.

Oh, and the first paragraph of my book is incomprehensible, or so I've been told.

It's not looking like I'll be entering the Query Shark's contest after all. I suppose I could enter something, but what's the point?

This isn't shaping up to be an odd-numbered day at all.

Don't mind me. I'm sounding like Eeyore.

Maybe I should have accepted the magic dog cages when I had the chance. Now I'm cursed. Oh, oh...oovil snetch.

Ah, I see Hathor. You got Clarked. That is a word I made up for when a certain very helpful but also very frustrating person smashes your window of query letter joy.

You seem to be taking it well. Remember to breath.

I'm sure he means to be helpful. And I suspect he may have made a good point or two. Maybe even three.

Meanwhile, as we speak, I'm trying to pick his brain about an issue of horse law that comes up in my book. I think the rules of karma dictate that I be nice.

Not that I'm not always nice

Hathor, I took a look over in QLH, and I actually liked your own revised opening better than the Clarked one. Though maybe a word stronger than "happy" could add more punch. Sounds like a really interesting novel.

Man, those crickets from Tri's part of the world have invaded my inbox, too. After that flurry of five responses within 24 hours, I've gotten nothing else. I know it's Monday, and agents are allowed weekends off, too. But still. 25 queries pending. Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to diving into some nonwriterly things for the next couple weeks.

I think what bothers me the most is that they can't tell when I'm making a joke. So I say something like "I only want anyone and everyone to love, love, love my query," then on the safe side I add "of course, it's impossible." And they think I'm serious and patiently explain to me that no query is going to have everyone love it.

I just told 'em all I'm a pedantic wiseass. Maybe that will help

I'd thought the same thing about "happy." But I looked in the thesaurus, and none of the words struck me as quite right. Maybe some clever turn of phrase will occur to me. Or a literary type will come up with something beautiful for me.