Mama Jude's Pep Talk

jeseymour

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I am so dang frustrated. My head aches and I haven't been able to write. Mostly, there's this big part of me that just keeps saying, "Why write? You're so stupid to waste your time. If you're going to write at all, it should be screenplays and shorts."

But I am drawn to writing my books. It will take forever to finish if the weekdays are filled with day job and I keep missing weekend days for headaches. So why do I feel so driven to write a novel? My head feels frustrated, dizzy when I try to consider the big picture, the major plot.

My logical brain keeps saying to set it aside and write a tv pilot, keep freelancing, leave the novels for later. But then my creative side just refuses to do that.

I am so angry with myself and so upset that I just can't do anything. Everything I DO write reads like crap. Sorry to be a downer. Does anyone else ever feel this way? Maybe the act of writing it down will help.

Just venting,

Lucie

Yes. {{Hugs}}

:Hug2:
 

lizmonster

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I am so dang frustrated. My head aches and I haven't been able to write. Mostly, there's this big part of me that just keeps saying, "Why write? You're so stupid to waste your time. If you're going to write at all, it should be screenplays and shorts."

But I am drawn to writing my books. It will take forever to finish if the weekdays are filled with day job and I keep missing weekend days for headaches. So why do I feel so driven to write a novel? My head feels frustrated, dizzy when I try to consider the big picture, the major plot.

My logical brain keeps saying to set it aside and write a tv pilot, keep freelancing, leave the novels for later. But then my creative side just refuses to do that.

I am so angry with myself and so upset that I just can't do anything. Everything I DO write reads like crap. Sorry to be a downer. Does anyone else ever feel this way? Maybe the act of writing it down will help.

Just venting,

Lucie

It is not just you. I think, for a lot of us, this is just part of the cycle. The OMG WHAT AM I DOING THIS IS HORRIBLE days are frequent and frustrating and painful. The days where it all seems to flow are so rare. But we're still driven to do it, and who knows why?

But we are driven, and I think there's value in respecting the drive, even if the output disappoints sometimes. We all write pages and pages and chapters and chapters sometimes that are rubbish, that we have to toss or rewrite or scrub off the computer's hard drive with a toothbrush, we hate them so much. :) But after we've done that...the good days come back. Always. They don't announce themselves before they come, but they do return.

You have been through so much these past few years; but this, I think, really is normal, and part of the journey. I am big on writing what feeds your spirit. How it comes out onto the page is secondary. Write your novel. You will get past this. :Hug2:
 

Zelenka

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It's not just you. I have two projects that I keep thinking "why am I working on this, I should be working on something that's got a hope of being sold" but those are the projects I keep going back to. I don't really know what the solution i, but my instincts would be to go with the thing that makes you happy.
 

onuilmar

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Ah, Wonder. *hugs* I think we write because we're writers. There is a drive to set it down on paper.

You're doing good.
 

muse

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You're definitely not on your own, Lucie. :Hug2:
 

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Thanks so much,muse, onuilmar and everyone. I think onuilmar is right:

Ah, Wonder. *hugs* I think we write because we're writers. There is a drive to set it down on paper.

I finally just called a couple people from my local writers club yesterday, met up with them separately and we talked writing. It helped a bit.

Perhaps I'm putting too much pressure on myself to finish multiple shorts while working on the book. I need to choose: freelancing-or-novel writing, but for now still have commitments for two more articles this month. After those, I may just take time off from freelancing again. This novel needs finishing and it won't leave me in peace til I concentrate, take a chunk of time and finish.

Thanks for making me feel less alone through this. I hate myself for pulling people down. Enjoy your writing time,y'all!
 

tarak

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Lucie - don't feel you're bringing anyone down. We've all been there and it does help to know others go through it and that it's normal. I hope this week and the next weekend are brighter for you.
 

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The warmth of this group and my local group really have helped me to feel brighter. Plus today at work (an assisted living community) the Boy Scouts couldn't make our vets day ceremony so I enlisted a wheelchair-bound Veteran resident to help me do a ceremony.

We printed and read the President's Vet's Day address. We recognized each veteran with a small flag and applause. Then he held one end of an old flag while I unfolded the rest and we unfurled it while the group rose and said the Pledge. Finally, we folded the flag back up, saluted it and sang God Bless America.

Not a dry eye in the house. We only need each other.

Thanks so much for all the support.
 

muse

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The warmth of this group and my local group really have helped me to feel brighter. Plus today at work (an assisted living community) the Boy Scouts couldn't make our vets day ceremony so I enlisted a wheelchair-bound Veteran resident to help me do a ceremony.

We printed and read the President's Vet's Day address. We recognized each veteran with a small flag and applause. Then he held one end of an old flag while I unfolded the rest and we unfurled it while the group rose and said the Pledge. Finally, we folded the flag back up, saluted it and sang God Bless America.

Not a dry eye in the house. We only need each other.

Thanks so much for all the support.

What a lovely idea.
 

GailD

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This thread really, really deserved to bumped!!!!



I'm finally back to working on my mystery novels again - after a detour into non-fiction and some short fiction and... stuff. I need Mama Jude to :whip: keep me on the path. :D
 

heyjude

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Whoa. Arise, o ancient thread! :D

Gail, how cool that you're working on a mystery! Are there bullies? Or do you need a break from bullies?
 

muse

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YAY! Great to hear you're back working on your mystery novels, Gail.:hooray:
 

GailD

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Whoa. Arise, o ancient thread! :D

Gail, how cool that you're working on a mystery! Are there bullies? Or do you need a break from bullies?

Aha. Ancient it may be but it's got so much value. :D

There are always bullies. They come in all shapes and sizes... and ages. We don't necessarily call them bullies when they're older - the behavior is more subtle - but they're always around. In my current WIP, they're nuns.

YAY! Great to hear you're back working on your mystery novels, Gail.:hooray:

Thankee. It feels good. :D :D


So what are all you M/T/S writers working on? We want to hear. :)
 

onesecondglance

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I'm still working on my third book, although I never finished the second one, so does that make this the second? I don't know.

I was going to say "slogging away", but that would imply effort, and right now I am just not putting in enough effort. There are reasons, and they are good reasons, but those reasons didn't stop me writing the first book. More and more I just seem to be finding excuses to fail. :(

Moooo.
 

heyjude

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So what are all you M/T/S writers working on? We want to hear. :)

I've been trying to fashion a response to this that doesn't make it sound like my MC is merrily having an affair with her brother-in-law while her niece gets kidnapped, so she goes all postal on everyone, and failing. :ROFL:

I'm still working on my third book, although I never finished the second one, so does that make this the second? I don't know.

I was going to say "slogging away", but that would imply effort, and right now I am just not putting in enough effort. There are reasons, and they are good reasons, but those reasons didn't stop me writing the first book. More and more I just seem to be finding excuses to fail. :(

Moooo.

Moo to you too! Stop beating yourself up. Right. Now. Write when you want to, and don't when you don't. "Not putting in enough effort"--according to whom? "Fail" according to what definition? I failed several years ago--and I've never been happier. I feel released. I write what I want, when I want, and it's cathartic and lovely and so very freeing not to have deadlines or judgment. I write for me, and the few dear friends I foist it upon, and for now? That's enough. Will there be more later? Maybe. But for now my writerly happiness is in the moments here and there that I jot down a sentence or two a week. Or a month. Or knock out a thousand words in an hour when I'm supposed to be working, because why not.

Free yourself from the shoulds. Be happy, my friend. :Hug2:
 

wonderactivist

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Moo to you too! Stop beating yourself up. Right. Now. Write when you want to, and don't when you don't. "Not putting in enough effort"--according to whom? "Fail" according to what definition? I failed several years ago--and I've never been happier. I feel released. I write what I want, when I want, and it's cathartic and lovely and so very freeing not to have deadlines or judgment. I write for me, and the few dear friends I foist it upon, and for now? That's enough. Will there be more later? Maybe. But for now my writerly happiness is in the moments here and there that I jot down a sentence or two a week. Or a month. Or knock out a thousand words in an hour when I'm supposed to be working, because why not.

Free yourself from the shoulds. Be happy, my friend. :Hug2:

:yessmiley:yessmiley
 

Mary Mitchell

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Aha. Ancient it may be but it's got so much value. :D ...

...So what are all you M/T/S writers working on? We want to hear. :)

Am (sort of) ready to query a (sort of) thriller, and can't believe the number of time consuming things that keep delaying me.

Got the whole mystery vs thriller thing down ages ago--and now I discover it may not be a thriller but suspense, which once upon a time I was told was a catch-all phrase for mysteries and thrillers, not a genre on its own.

And I'm hung up on comps. Story's about an ordinary guy (not a cop or PI or FBI agent etc) caught up in a dangerous situation. The tension is the big thing, but the guy can't help viewing the world and his problems with a degree of wry/dark/self-deprecating humor, partly as a defense mechanism. I'm reminded of Harlan Coben's stand alone's, or perhaps Linwood Barclay. The tone is also similar to the PJ Tracy stories that focus on the detectives more than the Monkeywrench crew. But the PJ Tracy stories are old, and the characters with the relevant sense of humor in the midst of serious events are cops. And I think Harlan Coben and Linwood Barclay are pretty big names to use as comps. Anyone got any suggested authors?