Mama Jude's Pep Talk

Nam - I stand by my rep comment. That thing would only be threatening if it didn't have the smile. With the smile it's - disquieting. But not in a bad way ...

mccardey said:

Nam - I stand by my rep comment. That thing would only be threatening if it didn't have the smile. With the smile it's - disquieting. But not in a bad way ...

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Yeah, that's what I thought you meant. It's not an invalid statement, thus I give you:

Namatu said:

Yeah, that's what I thought you meant. It's not an invalid statement, thus I give you:

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ok - now you're scaring me ....

I was going to offer you a party, McCardy, but then thought maybe that wasn't what you wanted so here are .

Stlight said:

I was going to offer you a party, McCardy, but then thought maybe that wasn't what you wanted so here are .

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Oh, a party would do just as well. And a hug is always good, of course

No - I was just in one of those start-staring-out-the-window-and-thinking-about anything-except-the-wip mental states...

However - I'm back, I'm focussed and I'm going to log out and work hard till Friday

Oooh, I like the sound of slack-off Fridays.

Oh, wait. The whip smiley is not intimidating....

Because the opportunity to party should never be ignored.

Busy day today. I slacked off on my writing all weekend and now find myself waaay behind pace. Will report in at the end of the day and let everyone know how I fared.

I don't know if I need a pep talk or just a slap.

I had a comment today from a family member along the lines of 'well if you had any talent, you wouldn't have been trying to write a good book now for fifteen years. Have you not thought that maybe you should try something else, something you're good at?' And it went on to bring up various things including the fact that pretty much every other shortlister on the CWA debut dagger is on the way to greater things whilst I got nothing but form rejections and told not to quit my day job, and that if I'd been trying to improve my writing all this time and after fifteen years I'm still not able to produce something that other people want to read, shouldn't I quit?' He basically implied that I had an overinflated opinion of myself and my abilities, and in fact thinking I could ever write something for publication was not just arrogant but laughable as well, and have pretty much wasted my life on this.

Now, the particular family member is, to put it politely, a balloon who talks out of an orifice other than his mouth, and so intellectually I know not to pay a blind bit of attention to him. But then again I have tried to be a better writer for fifteen years and I am still no closer to the goal now. He actually said maybe I had a bit of ability but not enough, and so it would always be 'close but no cigar'. Maybe if my NaNo novel wasn't such a big crock of rubbish I wouldn't have been in a down mood anyway, and I'm annoyed at myself for letting him get to me. But though he is an idiot, the scary thought is, what if he's actually right?

I don't know, I think maybe I just need a slap and told to go back to torturing my badly formed, unrealistic, ill-thought out characters. Or maybe to write a new murder mystery featuring an overweight, rude relative and a struggling writer...

Zelenka, he's being a jerk. Everyone takes their own time, and the fact that you were shortlisted at all means you have ability. It may not be quite there yet, but that's okay. It'll get there.

I'm someone else who is slow. I've been at this for 15 years, too, and I've still got so much to learn. I admit that sometimes when I hear people talking about how they had their first book published, or someone who's much younger than me getting published, or someone who says they've only been writing for a year or two and they're already much better than me, it's easy to get discouraged. I'm not a talented writer. I'm a writer who has worked my butt off to gain any level of quality.

The thing is, there's nothing wrong with moving at your own pace. Do you enjoy it? Do you feel like you improve with each attempt? Is it fun? That's what matters more than anything else. Don't let someone discourage you just because he's being a dick.

You know, the really sad thing is he was actually the one who encouraged me to write, years and years ago when I was wee. Used to brainstorm ideas with me. Over the last ten years though he's just turned from an occasional twazzer to a full time one.

I do enjoy writing and as I said, I'm annoyed that I am annoyed / upset. I know I shouldn't be. I should treat this like the comments he's made about me being fat. As to whether I improve each time, no, not that I can see. Funnily enough I think that's why he did strike a nerve because I was worried anyway that I keep making the same mistakes and am starting to lose sight of what I'm actually trying to do, and how to improve. I kind of know what needs improving but there's so much that I'm thinking the best way is to do an edit for each. One for character, one sweep for plot, etc.

But thanks guys. As I said, I think I just need a slap. Or he does, probably more useful.

I've done edits like that before. For what it's worth, it worked. And there's nothing wrong with writing problems into a draft as long as you do recognize them and can work to improve them.

Zelenka said:

I think I just need a slap. Or he does, probably more useful.

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No, no, no, Zelenka. You don't need a slap - he does!

I'm going to quote a piece from Elizabeth George's book Write Away. One novelist's approach to fiction and the writing life.

'You will be published if you possess three qualities: talent, passion, and discipline.
You will probably be published if you possess two of these three qualities: either a combination of talent and discipline or a combination of passion and discipline.
You will likely be published if you possess neither talent nor passion but still have discipline. Just go to the bookstore and pick up a few 'notable' titles and you'll see what I mean.
But if all you possess is talent or passion, if all you possess is talant and passion, you will not be published.'

Zelenka, you have been working away at this book for years - in my opinion you have passion and discipline, at very least. The question of talent is always a subjective one. Who says you don't have talent? Some relative? How many books has he published? Who died and made him a publishing guru?

Don't buy it.

My suggestion: Put your manuscript away for a while and start a completely new story. You don't have to go so far as to change genres or anything like that. Just a totally new story in a new setting with new characters.

GailD said:

Who says you don't have talent? Some relative? How many books has he published? Who died and made him a publishing guru?

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He wrote an SF book some years ago (like as in about 30 years back or thereabouts), sent it to one publisher, full MS, unsolicited, and got it back unread and still in its packaging. He decided the publishing world was just too stupid to get him and never did anything again. Ages ago I tried to encourage him when he wanted to try again, told him how to go about it the conventional way, querying etc, but that was before he descended into this spiral of self-obsession that's made him such a git lately.

It's not anything to do with his writing, I don't think, that makes him be horrible, it's more that he lashes out and is horrible if you talk about anything that doesn't directly affect him. But he also has a knack for spotting weak spots. The fat comment came at a point when I was really low about my weight. If I'm feeling unattractive he usually comes out with some comment about my looking like a man. I don't know how he does it but he manages to spot the cracks.

We actually joke sometimes that it's like some of the cozies or 'Midsomer Murders' where one character is a total jerk to everyone, and you know they're going to be the victim, but pretty much everyone will be a suspect!

Thanks all for the hugs and encouragement.

Zalenka - he sounds like a twatwaffle of the first order. I agree with heyjude - write a murder mystery with your relative as a deserving victim.

I think we should just start calling all jerks twatwaffles. Tell me just saying that didn't make you feel a little better.

I think it should be a rule that all books contain the word twatwaffle. I'm going to be thinking that every time I speak to the old bugger now. And I'm going to laugh and not be able to explain what I'm laughing at. And he'll get paranoid.

Good.

You guys are the best.

Zelenka said:

You know, the really sad thing is he was actually the one who encouraged me to write, years and years ago when I was wee.

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That makes it sting a bit more, but his words have nothing to do with you. He kept his manuscript in a box, and you're still pursuing what you want. There's the difference.

Twatwaffle!! I love it!!!!

Tarak, you just made my day!!

Zelenka said:

I think it should be a rule that all books contain the word twatwaffle. I'm going to be thinking that every time I speak to the old bugger now. And I'm going to laugh and not be able to explain what I'm laughing at. And he'll get paranoid.

Good.

You guys are the best.

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I used it in mine. I first heard that term from an English friend of mine and have used it since.

I suspect part of his attitude is jealousy. Being short listed for the Debut Dagger is nothing to sneeze at, and you're pushing forward and doing well at something he gave up on.