Oh my God you know what is driving me crazy? I'm getting tense over all the tenses! I think the voice is first person past tense mixed with the present tense of the omni-third person tense of ... WTF! ARGHHHHH!
Then I stop and say, don't worry about it now, fix it later, which is fine if I understood what the hell it all meant so I CAN fix it later. I understand first, I understand third, but all the other off shoots ... No clue ... I'm clueless, clueless, clueless which aggravates the crap out of me because I'm by no means a stupid person. I think it is just the definitions because I read some of the threads on those subjects and it just boggles my brain even worse.
I read lots of fiction in this genre, and got a few how to's on writing fiction (I normally do non-fiction for work, local history) and I searched the threads for simple answers but it just makes it worse, then I think my story sucks. Its the mechanics of it really, for me as I think the story is coming along fine.
Now I've thought about putting it on share your work, but I'm too scared. Some people give excellent advice and help, others chew people up and spit them out. I don't get that when you say up front you need help and you know something isn't quite right, making people feel stupid isn't answering the question of, "I know I got something wrong here I just can't quite see what it is?"
So ya I'm a bit bummed. Ya I admit to the show vs tell issues. And thank you to Mama Jude and Kaitie for looking at a chapter a while back, editing in your suggestions, so I could see exactly what you meant. It helped.