Need some wording help...

AussieGirl · Feb 28, 2010

Hi everyone,

I'm new here, so I hope this is the right area to ask my question...

I'm writing an article for kids in military families. I'm writing in the 2nd person, and referring to the reader's parent who is currently deployed.

I'm not sure how to refer to this person?

"your parent"
"your mum or dad"
"your loved one"

I prefer saying "mum or dad", because it's more personal and reflects the target child's language. Saying "loved one" (to me) sounds like a psych text book, and "parent" is quite detacted. However when using the term "mum or dad" many times, it becomes repetative and annoying to read. I want it to be generic for all services, so can't use something gender neutral like "solider".

Any suggestions welcome...

Mandy-Jane · Feb 28, 2010

I don't think "Your parent" is detached. I think it's probably quite appropriate?

alleycat · Feb 28, 2010

"someone in your family"? Or, "someone close"?

As in, "When someone in your family is serving overseas, you often have to take more responsibility for yourself."

I'm not sure if that's really what you're looking for however.

abctriplets · Feb 28, 2010

"Parental figure" is detached. "Parent" is fine. Again, I'm not sure what you're looking for, but try "Family," "Loved ones," "Mother and Father," etc. for variation.

alleycat · Feb 28, 2010

You could change the wording (mum or dad) slightly at times to be:

mother or father

the parent being deployed

the parent serving in the military

bonitakale · Mar 1, 2010

Like the others, I think you can use different words in different places. "You have to go to the men's room alone, because Dad's not there to go with you." "You wish Mum were here to read you a story while you eat lunch." "You have more work to do around the house, because a parent is gone. Maybe you have to mow the lawn, or make the salad, or vacuum the living room."

You're going to want to make it as concrete as you can, anyway, with a lot of examples, and those examples will probably be about one parent or another. "Robin and Lisa have to stay with their grandparents while Mum and Dad are overseas."

AussieGirl · Mar 4, 2010

Thanks everyone!!! This forum is a great resource.

shaldna · Mar 5, 2010

It depends on the age range it's aimed at.

I think mum and dad is fine.

frimble3 · Mar 5, 2010

In your context, I think I'd avoid 'loved one' because, to me, it has funereal associations. Parent or mother or father.
BTW, if it's for military families, are you mentioning a sibling being deployed? "While your brother is away ..."

abctriplets · Mar 6, 2010

frimble3 said:
In your context, I think I'd avoid 'loved one' because, to me, it has funereal associations.

Good catch!

Need some wording help...

AussieGirl

Mandy-Jane

venturing ever further into the unknown

alleycat

Still around

abctriplets

alleycat

Still around

bonitakale

AussieGirl

shaldna

The cake is a lie. But still cake.

frimble3

Heckuva good sport

abctriplets