To fck, or not to fck...

Scottish · Feb 26, 2010

That is a question I've already answered for myself. Now, I want to know what the people here think.

The question is this:
When writing, do you feel you should have a sex scene?

For me, the answer is no. I don't write romance, and if there was an inter-character relationship, I would make it clear they got-jiggy-with-it without actually having to go through the scene. I write horror, not slasher-flicks, so pointless humping isn't my style.
I can see where it might be acceptable, like, for example, two characters who've anticipated the moment for some length of time, or something -- I don't really know. I don't write chick-lit or erotica.

So anyway, what do you guys have to say? To fuck, or not to fuck?

DeleyanLee · Feb 26, 2010

If a sex scene forwards the story in the way I want it to be forwarded, then I'll write a sex scene. *shrug*

Now, how *graphic* that sex scene will be will depend on the tone of the book and what will fit it. But a sex scene doesn't have to be that graphic to be effective.

Claudia Gray · Feb 26, 2010

There is no one answer to this. Some stories should contain sex. Some shouldn't. Some sex scenes should be graphic. Others should be more discreet. Whatever serves the particular story is the right choice.

Parametric · Feb 26, 2010

I'd go with option one. Sex scenes illustrate character, drive plot and provide compelling reading.

dpaterso · Feb 26, 2010

There's an interesting thread in Share Your Work (password = vista) that may be worth a read:
Re: How to write sex scenes

-Derek

Millicent M'Lady · Feb 26, 2010

I wrote my first one recently. Shockingly, smut peddler that I am conversationally, it made me hella uncomfortable. But that's what the story called for, IMO, and dagnabbit, that's what it was getting.

mscelina · Feb 26, 2010

Regardless of whether I'm writing epic fantasy or erotica, my characters never have to decide whether or not they want to fuck. Fucking is commonplace. I write about the extraordinary.

Maxinquaye · Feb 26, 2010

I've never been in a situation where I've had to write an explicit sex scene. If I had, in my previous drafts, it would have been gratuitous and would have dragged the story to a halt while the characters did the naughty.

I have written a masturbation scene, but that was about dancing, and not rubbing organs.

Having said that, I'll agree with what the others have said: if the story requires a sex scene, it should be in the book. If it doesn't, it shouldn't be in the book.

Maryn · Feb 26, 2010

Millicent M'Lady said:
I wrote my first one recently. Shockingly, smut peddler that I am conversationally, it made me hella uncomfortable. But that's what the story called for, IMO, and dagnabbit, that's what it was getting.

Am I the only person who thinks it's just adorable that she can write a sex scene but says dagnabbit rather than something stronger? Probably not.

Maryn, grinning

Shadow_Ferret · Feb 26, 2010

There's some sex magic in mine, which is different from sex that is magic.

backslashbaby · Feb 26, 2010

I'm wondering this at this moment, too. Aaack

But it depends on story, not what your grandmother would think. Be true to what you are writing.

My story is supposed to be relatable and funny, given extremely strange circumstances. I think my MC would explore sex if she gets a minute to ponder that sort of thing. The scene is very funny

We'll see if it makes the cut!

Linda Adams · Feb 26, 2010

ClaudiaGray said:
There is no one answer to this. Some stories should contain sex. Some shouldn't. Some sex scenes should be graphic. Others should be more discreet. Whatever serves the particular story is the right choice.

The same goes for writers. It's not something I would ever put in a book. It just isn't me.

Wayne K · Feb 26, 2010

I can't imagine not putting in a sex scene.

Mr Flibble · Feb 26, 2010

Depends on the story. I've written sweet romance and I've written erotic romance ( which I wrote to see if I could write a convincing sex scene. Worked out quite well, cos I sold it

). One I'm writing now is somewhere between the two, but the smexeh time is part of the story / character development so it has to be there but it's not particularly graphic, because it doesn't need to be for the story. I've got a couple of other stories in mind where there will be none ( well, probably. My characters have a way f being rebellious and telling me who they want to pork, but hey)

If it serves the story, don't shy away from it. It it doesn't serve the story, don't put it in. Simples.

Maxinquaye · Feb 26, 2010

Maybe I should put in sex scenes. The moral outrage from The Sun should help my sales pretty good.

14-15 year olds doing the naughty.

Or it's old hat, and people will just yawn, and I get to realize that I'm an old far behind the times and the sociatal mores...

fadeaccompli · Feb 26, 2010

It's like asking if a book should include a scene with a phone conversation. Or standing in line at the bank. Or a swordfight. Or dangling from the rain-slicked precipice of darkness.

If it's necessary to the plot, character development, setting construction, theme, or other portions of the book, of course it should be in there.

If it's not necessary, of course it shouldn't be.

I have a very hard time picturing a book in some genres (early readers! pet care guides!) where a sex scene would be necessary, but that doesn't say anything about sex scenes. Just genre. I'd have a hard time picturing a Regency romance in which a UNIX coding scene was necessary either.

Polenth · Feb 26, 2010

I find sex scenes boring, so I'd fade to black. They only become interesting to me if they're really badly written, but that's for all the wrong reasons.

Jamesaritchie · Feb 26, 2010

I don't write sex scenes, I write love scenes. If there's anything funnier on earth than the sex scene in the average novel, I haven't found it.

But a sex scene is like any other scene. If you put it in because you think readers expect it, you probably won't sell the novel.

thothguard51 · Feb 26, 2010

I learned from my beta readers that I was cheating - because I did not include a sex scene. It is understood that my MC is a ladies man. Ladies just seem to throw themselves at him and the more beautiful they are, the harder it is for him to resist. All this is shown through the conversations, actions, or thoughts, of others and this pissed my readers off.

So I added a chapter early that showed my MC in action. He had just suffered a humiliating slap by the woman he is interested in. They both walk off in opposite direction and another woman pursues him, figuring this is her chance. He takes her up on her offer and during the encounter, he suffers guilt pangs because he knows this is wrong, even if she is willing. He apologizes and leaves before finishing the dirty need, though they were very close.

My beta readers said the scene was perfect. Showed he was a ladies man with morals. They knew I could write a sex scene, or imply one where needed because all my antagonist are having sex and they don't care who, how, or when they get it, so long as they get. They knew this difference showed the moral and immoral differences in my characters, but they wanted to see my MC as I portrayed him...

Long and short, I did not think I had to show my MC in action, but my beta readers made me realize I was cheating not just the readers, but my characters and the story as well. If that makes sense...

Ken · Feb 26, 2010

... judging by what you've said, and where you seem to be coming from, I'd say no: don't include the scene. You've got to do what feels right, and I'm judging that it doesn't, to you.

Zoombie · Feb 26, 2010

Sex is awesome, so you should do it as often and as safely as possible.

...

Wait, we're talking about writing? Well, uh, write what your characters would do.

If you follow this credo, you can not go too far wrong. Its like The 1st commandment: Don't Be A Dick.

Simple enough.

Mr. Anonymous · Feb 26, 2010

Right now I'm writing a book which is heavily based around the relationship between two characters (essentially a love story.)

However, I'm resisting putting in any sex and am spending very little time on kissing, etc. I think at its heart, a relationship is a friendship, and that's what I want to get across. We have sex in real life, true, and it's an intimate, powerful experience. But I don't like that we often get sex conflated with love. I think if it's appropriate for your characters and the novel you're writing, have it in, but I also resist the notion that in order to write a romance/love story you must write sex into it.

Jamesaritchie · Feb 26, 2010

thothguard51 said:
I learned from my beta readers that I was cheating - because I did not include a sex scene. It is understood that my MC is a ladies man. Ladies just seem to throw themselves at him and the more beautiful they are, the harder it is for him to resist. All this is shown through the conversations, actions, or thoughts, of others and this pissed my readers off.

So I added a chapter early that showed my MC in action. He had just suffered a humiliating slap by the woman he is interested in. They both walk off in opposite direction and another woman pursues him, figuring this is her chance. He takes her up on her offer and during the encounter, he suffers guilt pangs because he knows this is wrong, even if she is willing. He apologizes and leaves before finishing the dirty need, though they were very close.

My beta readers said the scene was perfect. Showed he was a ladies man with morals. They knew I could write a sex scene, or imply one where needed because all my antagonist are having sex and they don't care who, how, or when they get it, so long as they get. They knew this difference showed the moral and immoral differences in my characters, but they wanted to see my MC as I portrayed him...

Long and short, I did not think I had to show my MC in action, but my beta readers made me realize I was cheating not just the readers, but my characters and the story as well. If that makes sense...

Now you know why I never, ever, under any crcumstances, use beta readers.

thothguard51 · Feb 26, 2010

James,

I totally understand what you mean, but these beta's are very good, and all have published work, even if not best sellers.

I did not add the scene because they said I should, but because I thought on it and realized they had a point. I was cheating my readers of the knowledge I was proclaiming my character as...a ladies man.

After writing the scene, I had to admit, I liked it, and felt it added character to my MC. By introducing this scene early, I also did not have to deal with this subject with him again because the circumstances changed.

I really don't blame you about beta readers, as I have had some stinkers...

NeuroFizz · Feb 26, 2010

If a writer thinks a love scene is "fucking" or "pointless humping," then it's best for that person to avoid such scenes. Interpersonal intimacy is one of the most powerful of emotional situations two people can share, and if approached in that way, it can add incredibly to characterization and story construction. And, it can find its way into any genre, including non-slasher horror. But it has to be a natural event in the progression of the story.

An intense love scene can be written without describing any of the mechanics of the coupling, but it can convey that intensity through the other actions and reactions of the characters. The potential here for showing way more than just the rubbing-event is huge.

And I agree with James. When a writer goes to great lengths to describe the mechanics of sex, the depiction of the friction frequently only serves to ignite the flames of hilarity.

If we write a scene from the character's penis or vagina, we will have trouble escaping from the monotony of the rhythmicity. If we write the scene from a character's brain, we can take the scene anywhere.

To f*ck, or not to f*ck...

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