The Line of the Day--NO CRITTING

asroc · Apr 8, 2013

Okay, I'll play. The new WIP's very first line:

Brian had honed his cop-senses for years and right now they were telling him to run away.

Poor Brian.

Mr Mitchell · Apr 9, 2013

My favourite line of the day:
Linda had, for a few moments had recounted the moments of that fear which ran through her spine.

Ken Hoss · Apr 9, 2013

LOVE this thread!

My entry for today: Kelli has approached a Police Leiutenant who helped her in the past. She has a list given to her by one of the bad guys and before she takes it further, she wants to find out if it is legitimate.

“Is this a witch hunt? Are you working with IAB or something? Hell, I thought you were better than that, Storm.”

“I am not working for IAB, but I do need to know if these guys are dirty or not. I don’t like this anymore than you do, lieutenant, but it’s either this way or I turn everything over to them. And once they get this list, that’s when the real witch hunt begins.”

IAMWRITER · Apr 9, 2013

To the gentlemen of AW, I apologise for the following line...

She knew his comment was from wounded pride. Worse. It was from wounded male pride.

lizmonster · Apr 9, 2013

A little bit from my puny wordage tonight. Elena is maybe not being the most polite guest in the world:

"I've heard PSI runs ships that are forty years old," she said.

He looked around then, raising his eyebrows. "You have, have you?" He turned away. "Everything we've got on PSI is rumor. If they were running forty-year-old ships, they wouldn't be outrunning Syndicate raiders."

She had also heard that PSI never ran from raiders, but she decided to keep that one to herself.

Mr Mitchell · Apr 11, 2013

My favourite line of the day so far with Linda meeting her match:
Then she heard a voice, a man, older – could he be that creep that followed her for the last few days. Oh no.

Ken Hoss · Apr 11, 2013

Love this thread! So much talent!

Fresh from the WIP. Kelli is in Larsen's office and has a list of names, suspected bad cops and others. She is a little miffed at the news Greg has just given her about one of the bad guys they caught.

Greg reached across the desk and picked the page up. “Do you really want to know if this list contains the names of a lot of dirty cops, or does it just piss you off that Buryakov is going to walk?”

Kelli looked at him, her head cocked to one side. “Both.”

Mr Mitchell · Apr 12, 2013

My line of the day. Porter taking the mick of someone who is meant to keep their eyes on him:
“So if I take it personally, you bring a cowgirl to keep eagle eyes on me – what a great idea, you should brought ten loads of them. They could dance nude, you know. I’m not a liberty of lost cause, so I don’t need them or any help.”

onesecondglance · Apr 12, 2013

From tonight's words:

She believed him. She didn't hold any kind of claim to always know when someone was lying. That was pretentious bullshit, the kind spouted by uniforms trying to blag their way into CID, or DIs bragging when they'd had one too many pints, the sort of pub banter that accompanied a good arrest. I knew he was lying. I can always tell. No-one lies to me and gets away with it. It made for good stories and shit police work. Good liars believed they were telling the truth. There were no shortcuts to the real truth, if such a thing existed; a story consistent with everything else was about the best you could hope for. Ancel was consistent, and that was pretty good.

Alonso Rodriguez · Apr 12, 2013

got these lines done earlier today:
oh and by the way, what a fantastic thread this is! (-:

Kenny was coming out of the walk-in closet when I walked in, literally. He had a black plastic bag and he wanted to show it to me.

“What's in there”

“The Motherload” he said. He waved it about as if it was something important. It didn't look that way, and I thought he agreed with me. As he put the bag on the floor, he sat on the edge of the bed and tapped the mattress, beckoning me to go and sit next to him. Maybe he was actually coming out of the closet.

kkbe · Apr 13, 2013

Enjoying this thread, as always.

From EFFIN' ALBERT:

“You know where the Silver Bell Diner is?” I say, trying not to look at the chocolate stuff on his chin.

“Down seven or eight blocks, left on Spruce, down two blocks on the left.”

I hear what the guy says but it ain’t sinking in. Maybe ‘cause of how he’s looking at me, like Why is two kids asking directions to a diner at six in the morning?

“So, um, down some blocks then, um. . .”

“Spruce,” he says, “then left. You kids are up early,” he says. “Heading to the diner for breakfast?”

“Our mom works there,” Albert says.

I squeeze his arm to shut him up.

“Is she there now?”

I squeeze Albert’s arm harder. “Yeah,” I say. “She’s working right now. She said come down so we are.”

The man reaches over, shuts off the TV. “By yourselves? Your mom knows you’re coming?”

“Yeah. Spruce, right? I remember now,” I say. “Thanks. C’mon, Albert.”

I start for the door, pulling Albert.

“Wait a minute,” the guy says.

No way.

IAMWRITER · Apr 14, 2013

Too many cooks don't spoil the broth but seriously p*ss Casey off (yep, I'm a poet ;-D)

Casey is making breakfast for Kevin...

“Yeah, well…all this effort. It’s still a surprise. Thank you.” He headed across to her but she spun, blade still in her grip.

“Seriously? Sit down or I’ll stab you.”

Ken Hoss · Apr 15, 2013

IAMWRITER, remind me not to piss Casey off! Yikes! :scared:

kkbe, as always, love it!

Finally over my allergy attack and can see and breath again. New lines today, first since the 11th. (Wow! That was a long hiatus for me.)

Kelli is with her old nemesis, DEA Agent Farnsworth. (Yes, he's back.) He has just told her some news about her old boyfriend, Dan Davis, a Detective in the Narcotics Division. If you haven't read the previous book, this may be considered a *SPOILER*, so DO NOT read any further. You have been WARNED!

“There’s no evidence that he was working undercover. According to his Captain, and 1PP, Dan Davis was not on undercover assignment during that period. We’ve ascertained that Davis first made contact with Garcia five years ago, shortly after he was assigned to Narcotics. Soon after that, he was introduced to Buryakov and Andropov, and became their inside man. As to why they killed him, the only one who can answer that is the person who ordered it.”

Kelli looked back down at her coffee cup, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “And he’s dead.”

onesecondglance · Apr 15, 2013

Here's a fun one from an interrogation. Language and ick warnings!

James produced a clean tissue from his pocket and handed it to the man. "Here. Wipe your face so I don't feel like I'm talking to the walking dead."

The man watched James warily, but took it. Then he blew his nose and handed the soggy tissue back to James. "There. Plenty of D-N-fuckin'-A for you."

Ken Hoss · Apr 15, 2013

Love it!

Mr Mitchell · Apr 16, 2013

Here is Steven, finding things hard in prison:
None of this mattered to him anymore. He’d hurt Jessie and now he was on a guilt trip.

IAMWRITER · Apr 16, 2013

Nothing to add but, as always, great work in this thread.

kkbe · Apr 16, 2013

Just wrote this, from Effin' Albert. :e2cry:

ETA, changing it. Too sad. This is THRILLER and SUSPENSE!!! (Sorry, still pensive. That's what I was writing today. . . :Shrug:

)

Some nights when you’re laying in bed you remember what you thought was gonna happen that day, and you realize nothing happened the way you planned it. Then you think I ain’t the person I was this morning, like the day changed itself and so did you somehow.

It was that kind of day.

lizmonster · Apr 16, 2013

Elena has run into one of those mechanics that talks about engines like they're people (edited for language, which maybe doesn't belong in YA anyway, but I sure knew the word when I was a teenager):

"They're not alive, you know," she told him.

"B******t," he declared. "They may not be sentient, but they breathe, they react, and they communicate. Listen to what she tells you and you'll always know how to get the best out of her. Treat her like a computer, she'll never make sense."

tarak · Apr 16, 2013

Love all of these!

New first line for a WIP (one I've been stalled on).

The pigs were screaming.

Ken Hoss · Apr 16, 2013

tarak, were they screaming wee, wee, wee all they way home? :tongue

Just kidding, you've piqued my curiosity.

kkbe · Apr 17, 2013

From EFFIN' ALBERT~

While I sit there she drinks two more cups of whiskey, little sips first then bigger ones and I see the booze taking over, her words start sliding together and she’s saying you and Albert can’t accuse him of doing something horrible like, Albert’s making it up and how can you even say that, you boys are driving me nuts, what’s wrong with you people can’t you just stop for chrissake no wonder I—

She don’t finish it. She don’t have to.

Ken Hoss · Apr 17, 2013

Love the lines!

Wrote this one the other day. Kelli and Greg are in his office and are discussing the fact that Andropov, the bad guy, hasn't made any attempt to leave the country. The question arises as to why this is, since he knows that she and Greg are closing in on him. Greg suggest she not be alone at home.

She looked at him and cocked her head to one side. “I can already see where this is going, Greg, and it’s not about protecting me from the big bad wolf either, is it,” she said and grinned.

Ken Hoss · Apr 17, 2013

Okay, on a roll today. Just wrote this one. Kelli and Greg are at Rikers to talk to Buryakov, one of the bad guys. He made a deal with the Feds and Kelli doesn't like it. They are discussing the reason Buryakov was transferred to Rikers and not a Federal facility.

“If you ask me, it’s too good for this son of a bitch,” she said as she walked past him and into the lobby. “Of course, if it keeps him alive long enough for me to confirm this list, what the hell do I care.”

He laughed and followed her in. “That’s the spirit.”

tarak · Apr 17, 2013

The piggies were being consumed at the time.

Here's one from the other WIP. It spoke to me a bit more today.

She had the stagger and complexion of someone on day three of a two-day bender.

The Line of the Day--NO CRITTING

Alex

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

QWERTY!!!

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

pretending to be awake

Here there and everywhere

Huh.

QWERTY!!!

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

pretending to be awake

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

QWERTY!!!

Huh.

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

for certain qualities of "sane"

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

Huh.

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

Storm Rising A Kelli Storm Novel

for certain qualities of "sane"