How to write thoughts in MG

Hi Trish -

Actually, I do it both ways. I highlight thoughts that I want to stand out. Here's an example from my current MS:

"Whatever." What universe is she in, anyway? They rode in silence for several miles. Chester thought about the candy and chips he'd hidden in his luggage. There was no way he was going to suffer for four weeks without his favorite snacks.

I use italics. But I think an editor would take care of that for you, in any case; I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I agree with kd. It's a personal thing for the writer. I like to use italics once in a while to give emphasis to a specific thought. If you're uncomfortable with them, then don't use them.


Irene

I'd worry a little, because clarity is an issue and you wan to make it clear no matter what you do. You can use italics (I do), you can do the "she thought" or you can write it as internal thought. If you go from third person to first person with no visual clue (italics or quotations) I think it'll look very odd and confuse readers. (opinions may vary)

She tapped her mouth. Hmm, that's it. I'll hide it in my backpack.

She tapped her mouth and thought, "Hmm, that's it. I'll hide it in my backpack."

She tapped her mouth and thought for a moment. Hmm, that was it. She'd hide it in her backpack.

All three work, and you can mix and match if you want.

I think your second example is fine.

The excerpt from you book is fine. I was not confused a bit that this is what she is thinking.

As for italic's, I would only use them when you want to highlight a brief thought, such as the example used by ILsintex did. In that example, you have dialogue mixed with internal thoughts, so the italic's highlighted a snide thought from the rest. If done well, the readers see's her character without the writer getting in the way. IMHO

Now, as far as editors are concerned, from what I understand, they edit according to their inhouse style. Unless you have experience with a particular publisher to know their style, then you are not going to know before hand. With agents, they generally know where to submit to based on experience with the publishers and agents, and they will send your work to the best fit...

I think Danthia's examples are great, except that most editors agree that thoughts shouldn't be quotes because then they appear to be spoken.

Trish, I said thoughts should NOT be in quotes. I agree with you.

Trish said:

kellion 92, I haven't read any MG books lately where thoughts were in quotes. Wouldn't that confuse young readers? My manuscript is aimed at eight to eleven year olds. How would they identify thoughts from speach?

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Just a shot in the dark, but if the quote was tagged by 'he thought' vs. 'he said' - that'd be a clear indicator of thought vs. speech.

I don't want to disagree too strongly with Danthia because she is published and I'm not, so maybe she writes thoughts that way with lots of success, but most sources and styles limit the use of quotation marks to speech, not internal dialogue. Of course, some successful writers, like Junot Diaz, don't use quotation marks at all. Then again, Diaz doesn't write for 12-year-olds might have difficulty with the unorthodox use of punctuation.

No worries, she typed. And thought

Trish wrote:

I've read some children's books where writers have used quotation marks for thoughts, but I think it could be confusing to children.

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Trish, trust me. Kids understand a lot more than you are giving them credit for.

Kids today don't need to be walked through a book. They understand things that we didn't when we were their age.

The best of luck to you. I LOVE Molly.

Good Luck,

Irene

I don't put thoughts in quotes.

That's odd, he thought.

We're talking about punctuation. No one is doubting the sophistication of young readers.

I have to agree. Whenever I see a non-quotation statement in italics, I instantly think we're going omniscient and listening to the character's thoughts. So, if that's the effect you're going for, I'd say the italics are the winner. I use them in my novels, and it really seems to get the point across.

I think there's more than one "correct" way to do it. Therefore we have confusion!

What matters is that the writing is clear. So, if a character's thoughts are constantly intruding, italics might make it easier to follow. If it only happens now and then, simply tagging them with, she thought, is probably adequate. Quotation marks are for speech, so I wouldn't use them for thoughts--unless your character can read other people's minds, maybe...though I've usually seen italics used for that...oh, it can get complicated...

I tend to use italics for internal thought when it comes to my own style of writing. This way it stands out and generally tells the reader something they otherwise would not know. For fantasy or sci-fi that involves characters speaking mind to mind or telepathically, I use quotes and italics.