How do you think kids respond to books that address them directly? The narrator speaks to them instead of just giving the story?
Something like this as an intro:
Something like this as an intro:
Breaking the 4th wall
- Thread starter Cyia
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Obviously I have no issue with breaking the fourth wall (see both my books) 
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However, I have to say that with your particular example I'd get a little pissed off being told what to do. I'd also be a little upset that someone got annoyed with me for not replying "howdy" to a book. After all, I've never in the past had to say hello back to something I've been reading so being told I'm rude for not doing so doesn't make me feel good.
This of course is just my personal reaction to what was written, and might not be universal, but you can see that it can be tricky ground to tread.
.However, I have to say that with your particular example I'd get a little pissed off being told what to do. I'd also be a little upset that someone got annoyed with me for not replying "howdy" to a book. After all, I've never in the past had to say hello back to something I've been reading so being told I'm rude for not doing so doesn't make me feel good.
This of course is just my personal reaction to what was written, and might not be universal, but you can see that it can be tricky ground to tread.
That's okay - the kid's a bit of a PITA. Not sure if he's the best narrator or not, but the idea with that snip is that he's giving a tour of sorts and making the pauses like those annoying tour guides at a theme park.
I think there are two different senses of the word. I like, when writing for kids, saying "you might think this, you'd have thought he was that" etc, but I don't like it when the writer gets personally involved, "I bet you're thinking this, well, me too." That's a bit crass unless used very gingerly.
I'm not loving that excerpt either--it's a bit Dora the Explorer-ish, which is appealing to preschoolers but not to MG readers. You mentioned that he's like an annoying tour guide, but you don't really want your character to annoy the reader, do you? It's okay if the characters annoy each other, but they shouldn't be annoying us.
It wasn't actually from a MG book. It was somewhere between picture and chapter book level... but, that gives me an idea.
"Easy as tree climbing with a ladder tacked up."
I'd abridge to: Easy as tree climbing -- with a ladder.
As far as the fourth wall, I always thought a wall has to be established first before it can be broken: a traditional narrative that all of a sudden erupts into a direct confrontation by the author. For example: John was walking to the store, which reminds me of an incident from my own life. I was on my way to a store, too, but .... Not sure if I'm right about this. G'luck. I think kids would like being addressed directly if managed right. Humor definitely helps.
I'd abridge to: Easy as tree climbing -- with a ladder.
As far as the fourth wall, I always thought a wall has to be established first before it can be broken: a traditional narrative that all of a sudden erupts into a direct confrontation by the author. For example: John was walking to the store, which reminds me of an incident from my own life. I was on my way to a store, too, but .... Not sure if I'm right about this. G'luck. I think kids would like being addressed directly if managed right. Humor definitely helps.