The "T" Party.

Diana Hignutt

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So, as I said...I'm a transwoman. I transitioned back in the late 90's, GRS, the whole nine yards. I totally pass, no probs.

Look, this is a very nice website and forum with highly educated and intelligent folks who discuss things respectfully. A lot of places aren't like that. Other sites, I have frequently have populations filled with transhate or transphobia. I have been attacked for who I am...on those occasions when I stand up to be counted, as it were. It is ugly. In fact, it was such debates that brought out the Magneto in me. I'm not proud of that.

And now to my point...last year...my niece has come out as trans...as my nephew...and he's doing fabulously. He was a wee lad when I transitioned and I can't help but wonder what factor I may have played in his decision. His mom's not thrilled. And I wonder sometimes, if she thinks some of this is my fault somehow. And further, I wonder if society will ever truly accept him...and I worry...

thanks for listening!
 

Diana Hignutt

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I see the party died without me...

Well, I'm back...so...how's my peeps? I'll need a roll call with updates...thank you...
 

J.S.F.

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Like they say, you gotta be comfortable in the skin you're in.
 

Diana Hignutt

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So, I'm getting divorced.

It occurs to me, I have spent my entire female life as a married woman...

...I'm excited and terrified by what awaits me in the dating world...

...but that's going to wait at least a year...

...I think...
 

Diana Hignutt

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After the tragic death of Leelah Alcorn I thought it might be a good idea to bump this thread for any of our members that might have some T issues, or need to talk about T issues in a general way. Or perhaps people are interesting in becoming allies, or learning more about us. Personally, I will be renewing my efforts of being out and about more in the trans-helping front, in public awareness, and trying to find more and better ways of doing my part for my brothers and sisters.

Transgender and Proud!
 

Morgan_R

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Genderqueer and trans ally, here. Not that I don't feel pretty damn useless right about now. Signed some petitions, reposted to Facebook. Started a conversation on another board I'm on. Remaining civil, trying to educate and not alienate.

Doesn't feel like enough.
 

J.S.F.

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Token straight guy here. I've posted on Facebook, mainly, about my feelings over what happened to Leelah and other matters...but some of the trans-people on the forums are not accepting of cisgender straight people saying that they are their friends...and I don't blame them. Suspicions abound and one has to earn their trust. It takes time...and a societal mind-shift, I fear. What happened to that poor girl should not happen to anyone.
 

Diana Hignutt

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Token straight guy here. I've posted on Facebook, mainly, about my feelings over what happened to Leelah and other matters...but some of the trans-people on the forums are not accepting of cisgender straight people saying that they are their friends...and I don't blame them. Suspicions abound and one has to earn their trust. It takes time...and a societal mind-shift, I fear. What happened to that poor girl should not happen to anyone.

No ally should be turned away or discouraged. On behalf of trans-people, I apologize, and appreciate your reaching out.
 

Diana Hignutt

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As part of my trans outreach work, I've developed a friendship with Chelsea Manning and have been sending her my stories and novella's a serials, as well as visualization and vocal exercises to help with her transition. I just started sending her my Christmas present, my newly finished novel A Dancer in the Infinite a chapter at a time.

If you'd like to reach out to Chelsea you can write her at:

[FONT=&quot]Chelsea Manning[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]89289[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]1300 North Warehouse Road[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Fort Leavenworth KS 66027[/FONT]
 

Alessandra Kelley

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During winter break we ran into one of our college kid's close friends from middle school, a sweet kid now a trans young man, and many hugs and good cheer were exchanged.

I am hoping that as the generations shift acceptance will grow.
 

Diana Hignutt

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Just bumping this as we've had a few recent members coming out of the trans closet recently. So this thread is here for others to learn from and for trans people to have a little corner of the place to themselves.
 

kuwisdelu

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I'm in hibernation mode until my HRT appointment on Monday.

I can't think about anything else. I can't concentrate on anything.

I really really hope I can walk out with a script on Monday and they won't want to wait for initial blood work.

I can't keep feeling like this while I have so much work to do for my PhD dissertation.

My parents asked me why couldn't I wait until after graduation to start transitioning.

I don't think I would graduate if I had to wait.

I don't even know what day it is right now.

It's just not Monday yet.

I wish I still had those pictures of me made up as a girl.

Not that I identify as trans. I just think I made a pretty girl. :)

By the way, I don't think the "suddenly wake up with opposite genitalia" fantasy is terribly uncommon among cis gendered people, either. I know I've had them.

Man, one of these days when my hair gets long enough, I need to find a good female friend to apply me some make-up, lend me a dress, and see how well I can pull that off.

Hmm. Last night after catching up on this thread, I started thinking about what I would do if I suddenly woke up as a girl one day. After a lot of thought, it struck me that I didn't think it would bother me too much, other than the financial setback because I would want to re-do a lot of my wardrobe. I'm happy being a guy, and it's not something I'd seek to change, but after thinking about it for a while, I feel I'd be fine with it either way. I'm not sure if that's strange or not. It probably is.

Even if it's not so terribly weird that I don't feel I'd have much of a problem being a girl, it's got to be a little weird that what I think I would find most troublesome is the overhaul I would have to make to my wardrobe? Not that I have any hang-ups about what men or women should wear, but if I were to be a girl, I'd want some cute dresses, dammit!

I bought my first skirt today!

I'm not really trans, but I was excited. :)

:roll: :ROFL:

The denial was strong in this one.

New wardrobe is coming along.

Should I have seen this coming?

Well I can certainly say I'm not stereotypically masculine, but I don't dislike this body, other than the bit of belly I've accumulated around the middle.

I don't know. It's just something I've found myself thinking about lately.

If I had a dollar for every time I tried to convince myself I was comfortable with this body...

It's true that I don't really dislike it... it just needs estrogen badly...

Four years later, that "bit of belly" had accumulated enough to make me look masculine to the point where I couldn't take it anymore.

At the beginning of 2015, I resolved to start running and lose enough weight so I could fit into my girl clothes again by Halloween.

So, who here has used Halloween as an excuse to experiment with cross-dressing in public?

I know I did.

And, of course, people told me I did too good a job....

I did. And afterward, I was left with a profound sense of "what now?"

"Is this it?"

I guess I always figured that if I could be a girl for just one day, it would be enough for me, and those feelings would go away. Of course, it only intensified them, and made me want it so much more. I couldn't ignore it anymore.

I got depressed and lost all motivation for running and became a shut-in and didn't know what to do.

I didn't want to go back.

Two months later I came out as a trans girl to my closest friends and family.

Finally had the talk with my mom. She doesn't believe that it's real. That it's part of my depression and that I just want to be someone else since I hate myself. She seems to believe some not true things about transgendered people; like always being able to tell someone isn't a typical guy, like that they always have to start over completely in a new life, etc. Also, she said that she'll never consider me to be her daughter. I'll always be her son. And she brought up, over and over, about how no one will accept it because of the area we live in and that her family won't accept it. She used the fact that I don't take good care of myself and that I have a deep voice against it being real. Also, due to anxiety issues and depression, I still live with my parents and she added that I can't live with them as a girl. So, yeah, not a great reaction by any stretch.

That's my mom right now.

We really can't win. My mother thinks I can't be trans because I'm too young to know (I'm 26). My father thinks I can't be trans because I'm too old to know (he thinks I should've known since I was a very young child, like 4 or 5, or at least "showed signs").

I'm definitely insecure about the fact that it took me this long to figure out. But looking back, I can definitely see some signs.

This is one reason I am becoming fascinated lately with Native American tradition. People who are genderqueer were (and possibly today still are)considered spiritually enlightened, and were regarded as healers and counselors. I've been trying to learn more but I'm not sure where to start.

I've finally started to become comfortable identifying as two-spirit in addition to being a trans girl. I hated how so many queer white people were appropriating the term, when it comes with so much cultural baggage they'll never experience.

But I'm the same clan as We'wha. So dammit, I'm claiming it.

I'm still nervous about how I'll fit into Zuni society after this... where my place will be... Most of those traditions have been lost.

Is it Monday yet?
 
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Diana Hignutt

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Kuwi, my first two endo's wrote me scripts for Premarin without initial blood tests (of course, back then you had to have six months of counselling and a letter from your therapist signing off first). They won't give you Lupron or other t-blockers without a few months of estrogen build up and a couple of blood tests under your belt though. My second and best Endo, the wonderful Dr. Sheldon Schlaff, formerly at Pennsylvania Hospital in Philly, and I developed such a great relationship, he became like a second dad to me. As he said, we went through hell together. He was the one who forced my surgeon in Canada to commit to getting me healed properly...as I had a lot of problems with granulation tissue for several years, post-op. I remember crying when he retired. I love that guy.

Your post was incredible. And reminded me so much of myself. Thanks. It's been a tough week, snow storm, clean-up, tax deadline at work, fucking w2, and then w2c's cause I screwed up the first batch, metal allergy and COPD acting up due to them cutting too much stainless steel in the shop, dad's had a tough week with his dementia, but this weekend, prepare for my email...

It's not been easy in life for me, but I would have died almost twenty years ago if I didn't transition. And despite, my surgical complications, my love-hate work relationship with the family business, my disastrous marriage, my other health problems, my publishing missteps...I'm still completely happy in who and what I am, and a lot of people in the world can't say that.

Hang in there, my peeps. It can and does get better.
 
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kuwisdelu

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Kuwi, my first two endo's wrote me scripts for Premarin without initial blood tests (of course, back then you had to have six months of counselling and a letter from your therapist signing off first). They won't give you Lupron or other t-blockers without a few months of estrogen build up and a couple of blood tests under your belt though. My second and best Endo, the wonderful Dr. Sheldon Schlaff, formerly at Pennsylvania Hospital in Philly, and I developed such a great relationship, he became like a second dad to me. As he said, we went through hell together. He was the one who forced my surgeon in Canada to commit to getting me healed properly...as I had a lot of problems with granulation tissue for several years, post-op. I remember crying when he retired. I love that guy.

Lupron and Premarin, eh? How times have changed.

(I'm expecting Spironolactone and Estradiol.)

(I'm expecting Spiro to suck because I already have the bladder of a hummingbird.)

(And I'm already stressed out as it is over which bathroom to use.)

Oh well.

I still have mixed feelings about GRS. But that's a few years away either way, if I go for it.

The whole dilation thing is kind of intimidating for me.

Not to mention the recovery. And the choice of Thai vs. Western surgeons.

Hell, I still need to get some laser sessions scheduled sometime.

But obtaining titty skittles will be like a 2 ton weight off my back.

I'm at least glad my parents aren't hung up on more biological grandchildren.

Waiting to get sperm banking done would suck.

(It was my one and only peace offering to them.)

Is it Monday yet?

Your post was incredible. And reminded me so much of myself. Thanks. It's been a tough week, snow storm, clean-up, tax deadline at work, fucking w2, and then w2c's cause I screwed up the first batch, metal allergy and COPD acting up due to them cutting too much stainless steel in the shop, dad's had a tough week with his dementia, but this weekend, prepare for my email...

You hang in there, too. I'm gonna need you, just a little bit, after all.
 
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kuwisdelu

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I don't know how I would've reacted six years ago if someone had told me then that I'm trans.

I remember not even considering it. I remember thinking it's something you know.

Something other people experienced and did. Not me.

Like Hogwarts School of Transitioning and Switchcraft sent you an owl with your letter.

"By the way! You're transgender! Congratulations!"

I guess I didn't realize it's something anyone can do.

The most magical words for me were "if you want to be a girl, then be a girl."

Like it's so simple. But while it may be hard, I guess in many ways, it is that simple.

Maybe someone should have told statistician me that the null hypothecis was bullshit years ago.

Or am I still missing something?

DID EVERYONE ELSE GET AN OWL EXCEPT ME?!?!?
 

Diana Hignutt

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Here's the rule I used:

If you're presenting as a girl, use the girl's room.

Back in my day, when I was in the PA Hospital program, they gave me an official card to certify I was transitioning and that I had a medical and legal right to use the women's room. Maybe your doctor could give you a note to keep on you or something?
 

kuwisdelu

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When did everyone else decide to switch bathrooms?

I almost always get ma'am at first glance.

Sometimes people "correct" themselves on second glance.

Sometimes they don't, even after I've opened my mouth.

On campus, I've been trying to use the unisex bathrooms when possible.

For single-occupancy bathrooms, I've been using the women's.

In other situations, I use the men's, but it feels really weird.

But going into the women's is scary.

I haven't gone out in dresses or skirts yet, but I'm 100% girl mode now.
 

kuwisdelu

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Here's the rule I used:

If you're presenting as a girl, use the girl's room.

Back in my day, when I was in the PA Hospital program, they gave me an official card to certify I was transitioning and that I had a medical and legal right to use the women's room. Maybe your doctor could give you a note to keep on you or something?

Lol. You read my mind while I was writing the post above.

I need to be braver.

I also need to start correcting people when they "correct" themselves.
 

kuwisdelu

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Well my new birthday won't be February 1. It might be February 11.

No scripts today. Need to go back to get a letter from my therapist. Next therapy appointment is this Wednesday.

Made next HRT appointment for next week Thursday. Got to bring home a consent form at least.

I need to go back tomorrow morning for blood work.

This is going to get expensive, because I have no insurance. I wasn't too worried, because I knew the pills won't be that expensive, but I didn't think about paying for the lab work, too.

At least the doctor is friendly and enthusiastic. I asked her what she usually prescribes, and for pills (which I'm probably going to go with for now) she usually starts people on 4mg Estradiol and 50mg Spironolactone, upping to 100mg Spiro after a month or so.

How am I supposed to concentrate on my PhD research right now? I'm going crazy.

Is it next Thursday yet?

:gaah
 

Diana Hignutt

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Well my new birthday won't be February 1. It might be February 11.

No scripts today. Need to go back to get a letter from my therapist. Next therapy appointment is this Wednesday.

Made next HRT appointment for next week Thursday. Got to bring home a consent form at least.

I need to go back tomorrow morning for blood work.

This is going to get expensive, because I have no insurance. I wasn't too worried, because I knew the pills won't be that expensive, but I didn't think about paying for the lab work, too.

At least the doctor is friendly and enthusiastic. I asked her what she usually prescribes, and for pills (which I'm probably going to go with for now) she usually starts people on 4mg Estradiol and 50mg Spironolactone, upping to 100mg Spiro after a month or so.

How am I supposed to concentrate on my PhD research right now? I'm going crazy.

Is it next Thursday yet?

:gaah

I had to wait six months to even go see the endo. You can make it a few more days. The lab work won't be that often, most likely. Probably every three months max.

I was lucky that my insurance paid for my scripts, but it did not pay for the endo or the therapist. Hair removal was my biggest expense honestly, as I had a lot of red and blond hairs to be rid of and laser does not work well for those hair colors/types--so Lucy Peters electrolsys. Then the facial surgery (nose and lip), then the GRS (which thanks to a beneficial exchange rate in 2000, I only paid $10,000 for SRS w/ Breast augmentation, a week in the private hospital, and another week and a half stay at a special recovering mansion they have set up there in Montreal--or they did anyway, I know Menard's got to be gone but Brassard's still probably there).