The "T" Party.

Caitlin Black

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Trying not to spam this thread, but I bought an interesting-looking book today for an awesome price ($5 in Australia is about 1/4 normal price!).

"Delusions Of Gender" by Cordelia Fine.

From the blurb, it seems to be about gender roles and sexism, but the thing that really got me interested was that the author is of the opinion that gender is in the mind, and kind of bendy (she used a different word I can't recall right now) - bendy in that gender is affected by the outside world, your own emotions, among other things...

I'm perhaps not explaining this right, but it was something that I found myself agreeing with. Like, her opinion made ample room for transgendered people to be normal as much as cisgendered people...

There was no overt mention of transgenderism in the blurb, but I'm assuming there'll be some mention of it in the text.

I'm looking forward to reading it, and just wanted to mention the book in case it's something anyone else in here would be interested in.

I can't give an actual review, of course. I haven't read anything more than the blurb. I'm not sure precisely how relevant to T people it will be - although the analysis of gender roles could perhaps lead T people to understanding themselves better (which is what I'm hoping for).

I've still got 100 pages (exactly!) of a Discworld novel to finish first, but it's jumped the queue on a lot of the books in my TBR pile.
 
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Diana Hignutt

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About four "he's" from my dad this week. It never gets easier. You can't tell if the person is just forgetting, or is trying to be trying. It's been so long now...
 

kuwisdelu

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That reminds me. In Zuni, there is no distinction in the pronouns for he and she, so my mother tends to use them interchangeably. My brother, father, and I get called "she" a lot, and my niece and (female) cat get called "he" a lot.
 

Diana Hignutt

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That reminds me. In Zuni, there is no distinction in the pronouns for he and she, so my mother tends to use them interchangeably. My brother, father, and I get called "she" a lot, and my niece and (female) cat get called "he" a lot.

My father has no such excuse...he is oldish though (78)...

That's actually pretty neat, K.
 

Caitlin Black

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I now own a pink iPod Shuffle. :D

I could've bought an iPod Nano in black, my usual colour of choice, but the Shuffle was quite a bit cheaper, and in any event I wanted something pink. It's the first part of my Christmas present from mum.

Thanks mum, you're now an enabler in my quest for girly things. ;)
 

Kim Fierce

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shutdown at worrrrrrrrrk!

I have 7 short stories/articles in submission, and 5 agent queries. I've also started my next book. Right now I'm stir crazy!
 

Caitlin Black

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I had a pretty awesome day today.

First, my 4 hour shift at work felt like 2 hours. It was pretty dead there, what with Christmas being over, and I was a lot less stressed.

Then I went to get a coffee. There are toilets nearby, so I went in and came back out feeling refreshed, and there was this homeless man begging for money.

He said to me, "Spare a dollar, miss?" :D It must've been my longish hair, or perhaps the way I walk, or both, because I can't think of any other reason he'd think I was female... Even though I am.

So that sort of made my day. It's the first person who's mistaken me for female, like, ever!

Then I got most the way home, and met mum at the shopping centre near our house. My train comes in there, and she was getting her tyres fixed just over the road.

Anyway, she needed new shoes, so we went into a couple of shoe stores. Now, you all probably know I have a thing about shoes, and would love to wear the really girly ones. Anyway, I noticed this GORGEOUS pair of high heels in pink with a frilly bow on the toe straps.

Mum was spending a long time deciding on some shoes, so I wandered back over there, and it turns out they're in my size, too! And $20!

Naturally, not being out to mum, I didn't buy them then and there. But I think I might go back in on Friday after working the morning shift. It'd be the first pair of heels I've ever owned, but they're so adorable!

I have worn pink shoes before (thongs aka flip-flops) and apparently pink is my colour. *wistful*

Just wanted to share. I hope you're all having great days too.

*hugs*
 

Caitlin Black

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Follow-up to yesterday:

Today wasn't quite as good... I gave all my coins to the homeless guy specially because I didn't have any change for him when he called me Miss. As in, I took about $8 worth of coins in my wallet this morning just for him for that comment. :)

He then asked if I was Australian.
"Yes..."
"You look English though."
"Oh, okay, thanks..."

Mum's side of the family is English, so that could be it, or possibly I just look confusing to some people, who knows? Not as good as Miss, but I'll take it as a compliment. :)

Then work dragged along. *sigh*

Got back to the local mall, where it was late-night shopping. So I went straight for the shoes I saw yesterday, this time sans mum. As it happened, I needed to buy new dress shoes for work. The last pair had a split in the sole, like the pair before them. That makes 4 pairs of shoes in as many months. :( This last pair lasted 6 weeks.

Anyway, I'm mentioning this because the shoe store had a special sale going: 2nd pair half price. (Cheapest pair only.)

So I was looking at dress shoes, and noticed something that said "Men's 9 = Women's 11" (Australian sizes). This was different to what I was expecting... I had thought I'd be a Women's 10, and that's what size these pink heels are.

So I checked if there was the same style in 11s, but there wasn't. :( I bought the 10s anyway. They were already on sale for $20, and then they'd be half price because of buying the dress shoes. So $10 for the off chance that they'd fit. I can live with that. :)

Left the shop, realised the second box would be a dead giveaway to mum, as it had a picture of heels on it. So I put the pink lovelies in my bag and ditched the box.

Finally got home and with enough privacy to try them on, and they fit. :) But only just. :( As in, I could get my feet in them, but it was KILLING ME just standing in them for more than 20 seconds. :(

Still... I can get my feet in, and I now know at least that I'm a Women's 11. :)

But this raises the question - why are there no frilly heels for women with big feet? The biggest women's size in the store was 11, so if I'd had big feet for a man I don't know what I'd do, and all the 11s were just kind of ugly, boring and sensible...

I don't want sensible shoes, damn it! I want bitchin' heels!

Eh... I didn't know I was an 11 until today, so that's something. This was the first pair of women's shoes I ever bought... I'm proud of myself, even though I was nervous in the store, and hid the evidence.

*sigh* I need to find decent women's shoes in an Australian 11. Might surf the web - I'm sure there has to be cute shoes in my size somewhere!!
 

Caitlin Black

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Okay, so these shoes, I just realised, were supposed to be $50. And I got them for $10. Woo!!!

I'm wearing them right now. I tried finding a picture of them, but no go.

They're quite tight still, but don't hurt as much now that I'm not standing. :)
 

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That's great that you got them for that big of a discount. I had a somewhat similar experience recently. On Christmas Eve, I was with a friend of mine as he was doing some last minute gift shopping. We were in Sears and the cash register was right by the women's clothing section. I remember staring a lot at this pair of really nice high heel boots and wishing I had a pair like them.
 

Kim Fierce

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My feet are so small that although I like men's shoes better than women's, I have to buy them in the kids' section and get boy's shoes! I'm a size 5 or 6, whichever gender of shoe I prefer, somehow.
 

DancingMaenid

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I wear a size 9 in women's shoes, and a size 7 in men's usually works for me. I was happily surprised when I discovered that I can often find men's shoes that will fit.
 

Caitlin Black

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I went looking for more size 11 women's shoes, seeing what was in stores.

And seriously - it seems that the cute shoes I most covet only go up to size 10! After that, they become less cute and more sensible. Ugh.

I mean, I don't mind sensible shoes, but sometimes I just want to look cute, y'know?

Okay, that sounds bad. But still - the option should be there! And today I was talking about my new dress shoes, and a woman at work mentioned that she was a size 11, and was complaining about how hard it is to find decent shoes.

Amen, sister!
 

Diana Hignutt

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I went looking for more size 11 women's shoes, seeing what was in stores.

And seriously - it seems that the cute shoes I most covet only go up to size 10! After that, they become less cute and more sensible. Ugh.

I mean, I don't mind sensible shoes, but sometimes I just want to look cute, y'know?

Okay, that sounds bad. But still - the option should be there! And today I was talking about my new dress shoes, and a woman at work mentioned that she was a size 11, and was complaining about how hard it is to find decent shoes.

Amen, sister!

I used to buy at payless which had size 11, but they tended to be cheap, and there's nothing worse than cheap shoes.

The internet is your friend...
 

Caitlin Black

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Yeah, cheap shoes aren't worth it in the long run.

Unfortunately, if I bought shoes online and had them delivered to my house, mum would probably see the package, and then want to see my new shoes, which would be problematic for me right now...

Once I'm out, or have my own place, then yes, that'd be fine. :)
 

Kim Fierce

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Once I'm out, or have my own place, then yes, that'd be fine. :)

I am always a little sad when I find out someone isn't out. But at the same time, I also get kind of jealous when I see people who live out and proud online even when they haven't come out to others yet. Before I came out, I snuck onto lesbian chat rooms and only remember one person there who took the time to have conversations with me about how I felt, and etc. I didnt' know anything about any kind of forum, writing or otherwise, where I could talk to someone like me. And since that was in 98/99, there probably weren't as many options. So to you, and at least 2 other people I can think of, and 1 I know who used to be in the closet but is out now, I think it is so great that you have a place where you can not only talk about the writing you love, but all other aspects of who you are too.
 

Caitlin Black

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*hugs*

Years back, I did come out to my friends, and it didn't end so well... I didn't have anyone to talk to, the lesbian I was in love with told me she couldn't understand how I could be a woman on the inside, my best friend turned out to be homo- and trans-phobic...

This thread has kept me going this past year or two. I've learnt a lot about myself by rambling in here, and having people actually get what I'm talking about.

I want to be out and on hormones, but now just isn't the right time.

But yes - I do realise how incredibly lucky I am to have AW available to me.
 

Caitlin Black

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A little girl saw me walking home from the bus stop today, from across the street, and cried out to her parents, "Look, she works at (store name where I work)!"

This longer hair is definitely improving my mood. :D

Oh, and I've decided I'm going to take the plunge and get laser hair removal once my job contract ends.

If I recall correctly, there's a place in the city that uses a certain frequency of light to trick hair follicles into dying off. It's not painful (or so they say) and it only costs a fraction of electrolysis, which does hurt (or so I've heard).

The only down side is that you need to go 2 or 3 times a few weeks apart to kill off an entire section of hair. This is because the "trick" works on the growing hairs, but not on follicles in their dormant stage (about half at any given time).

And you have to let that area grow without shaving in-between visits. So I'm going to look pretty funny for a few weeks while I have half my facial hair only...

But in the end, I'll look a lot more feminine. I've never had a proper beard, but I hate shaving (to say the least!) so I let it grow for about 5 or 6 days at a time usually. Consequently, it's an unmistakably male section of my head... VERY few women who I've met have had that much hair under their chins. But! When I do shave, watching myself in the mirror is like seeing a man disappear and an androgynous woman appear.

So for a few hundred bucks (which I can afford at this point) I can look a lot more feminine all the time.

:)
 

Becca_H

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Unless it's a different type of laser hair removal than I know of, you don't grow it long. They need it as short as possible; otherwise the hair can catch fire in the laser and then burn (which doesn't smell that nice). And it does hurt, but it's only for ten minutes as opposed to the hour or so electrolysis can take. (Also, electrolysis does need the hair to grow.) It takes about 10-20 visits about a month apart to achieve results.