The "T" Party.

Becca_H · Jul 4, 2011

It sounds like you're really doing great, Mara.

I know where you are and how you feel. It's like the purgatory of transition: not quite there, but well past the starting line. With good days, bad days, fears about passing, and suddenly: concerns about other things in life which suddenly seem more important by comparison.

And now it seems your sexuality is taking precedence. This happened with me. It goes from being like, yeah whatever, to oh God this is suddenly important. It's a good thing, in a way, in terms of transitioning.

I think it's important, wherever people are, to never allow their transition to become their entire life. This happened with me when I transitioned (in school) and my grades went from A's down to D's. By the time I got myself together I only managed to recover some grades. My mind was too focused on my gender and not on the rest of my life. I regret that now, especially because countless people told me I would, and I completely ignored them.

Diana Hignutt · Jul 5, 2011

Mara said:
So, I've recently gotten confirmation that I "pass" to at least some people. It was sorta funny and involved someone thinking that (old name) must be my son, but it's a long story. In general, though, I've been doing better.

Positive Side: I feel better about myself, I look better, and I'm not quite so sensitive to things. I don't cry about hating my body or about transphobic remarks anymore. They annoy me, but I don't get so upset.

(EDIT: Also, I look younger by at least five years, maybe more when you factor in that I used to be seen as older than I really was. I'm happy about the change.)

This is shorter than "negative side" but outweighs it by such a huge amount. It's just not that complicated and comes down to, "I feel great!"

Negative Side: Yesterday, I realized that the reason I'd been aimless for a week or so was that transition was no longer my entire life. It's good, but now I've got to find other uses for my mind.

I've also realized that I had more lingering privilege than I thought, and it's kinda embarrassing that I didn't realize how much I had.

Now that I can "blend," and slipping back into total conformity is an option, it's a little harder to resist. I will, because I never, ever want to feel like I have to hide who I am, ever again, but I finally realize why some trans women go "deep stealth."

For the first time, being gay is probably going to be a bigger deal than being trans. And I'm actually rather femme looking now, so many people seem to assume I like men, even if they know I'm trans. (Whereas before, they'd assume I liked women, even if the knew I was trans.) There's a slight pressure not to say anything, or to use gender neutral pronouns for my girlfriend. Standard "how do I want to phrase it in this particular social setting?" issue that most gay and bi people seem to have to deal with. I'm glad I've gotten to this point, even though it's a little scary.

I also never thought I'd run into that "femme invisibility" thing, but it seems I am, and it's bothering me a little for some reason. I always thought if I had a problem with being read as straight, it would be lingering homophobic programming from being raised as a guy, but it's actually more about feeling like I'm slipping back into my old habit of pretending to be what people assume I am. I really love being able to be femme, because that's what comes naturally to me. But I always imagined myself being obviously LGBT no matter what, so I wasn't mentally prepared for this.

So, yes, I'm basically whining about, "Being gay is hard, some people act weird about it," as if I hadn't known that already. I mean, I totally did. And people looked at me funny when I looked like a guy dressed in sorta feminine clothes, and I used to get read as a gay man sometimes even before that. But now that I don't look quite so obviously trans, I get that different sort of thing where people are surprised (and didn't believe me, in one case) if they find out I like women and not men. It's surreal more than anything, at this point.

Also, I'm still not totally confident on how well I blend, and I think some people still might read me as trans, so that makes going to the bathroom a little scary.

Overall, though, it's more surreal than scary, and I'm so happy I've gotten this far.

More and more congrats, for the positives, Mara. I'm so proud of you. And jealous. It's such an exciting time for you.

Now, on the part of your post that I bolded. This, I think, is what is waiting to confront those who transition...once the obsession is dealt with...what are you going to think about now? I was shocking by the realization of how much time and energy I put into my obessesion of becoming female. And then what? Be ready for that folks, it's always there. And then...you get to lead your life... (and frankly, that might be the most terrifying part of the whole deal). Freed from obsession...what will you think about and do with your life?

Diana Hignutt · Jul 5, 2011

Becca_H said:
It sounds like you're really doing great, Mara.

I know where you are and how you feel. It's like the purgatory of transition: not quite there, but well past the starting line. With good days, bad days, fears about passing, and suddenly: concerns about other things in life which suddenly seem more important by comparison.

And now it seems your sexuality is taking precedence. This happened with me. It goes from being like, yeah whatever, to oh God this is suddenly important. It's a good thing, in a way, in terms of transitioning.

I think it's important, wherever people are, to never allow their transition to become their entire life. This happened with me when I transitioned (in school) and my grades went from A's down to D's. By the time I got myself together I only managed to recover some grades. My mind was too focused on my gender and not on the rest of my life. I regret that now, especially because countless people told me I would, and I completely ignored them.

Knowledge is more important than grades, and you never have to stop learning. You'll be fine. Best.

Diana Hignutt · Jul 18, 2011

Diana Hignutt said:
This, I think, is what is waiting to confront those who transition...once the obsession is dealt with...what are you going to think about now? I was shocking by the realization of how much time and energy I put into my obessesion of becoming female. And then what? Be ready for that folks, it's always there. And then...you get to lead your life... (and frankly, that might be the most terrifying part of the whole deal). Freed from obsession...what will you think about and do with your life?

A little bit of news related to this a little bit:

I just gave notice at my job. 3-4 Months notice. But notice. Either I'm self-actualizing or having a mid-life crisis. I'm looking forward to writing lots, some transactivisting, a good bit of paranormal consulting (I'm already on my second case--an alleged demonically possessed individual threatening my client), some good-natured battling the corpotryannisty. And we'll go from there. Wish me luck.

PsychicToaster · Jul 18, 2011

I started my own transition earlier this year, and as for the intersection of writing and being trans, I must say they are both colossal distractions. From what? From each other!

I find now that when I edit, I am having trouble seeing the value in the manuscripts I have in front of me because I am in such a different place emotionally than I was one and three years ago (respectively) when I wrote them. I still see why someone would be interested in the story, but I'm losing my own connection to them.

Likewise, transition itself and the complications that arise from it have taken precedence over my writing time a bit too frequently, and I have fallen out of the habit. I try to make time and set times to write but I miss them or wile them away on transition-related stuff that is, quite frankly, far more exciting.

The one place where I feel like I have an outlet for both at once is a body-replacement steampunk story I am writing called "Parts." It's in the form of a tumblr blog because it is the research journal of the protagonist, and something of a scrapbook of commentary from side characters.

Parts: A Steampunk Tale of Love and Mechanomorphosis

I know a lot of other folks in the trans community have been fans of fiction with body replacement and transhumanist themes (The Surrogates, The Matrix, Ghost In the Shell), and so I wanted to share my own metaphorical adventure. I know also that many say that they drifted away from those stories after starting transition (after all, it's no longer a truly relevant fantasy that strikes at a major emotional need) but I'd like to think it's still worth reading. ;-)

At the risk of turning this into an "all about Autumn showcase" post, my trans status became relevant to my writing yet again about a week ago when I posted two of my short stories for sale as eBooks. Before I could tell any of my friends and family about them and promote them, I had to explain to them why the name on the byline was a girl's name.

This led to me finally coming out publicly on Facebook (because that's what makes it official these days, right?

) as MTF transsexual in a lengthy note explaining the situation. So if not for my writing, I'd still be out only to a handful of people despite my appearance which is growing conspicuously less masculine. :-D

In the end, I received a not surprising, but no less welcome outpouring of support from friends and family alike. It was truly reaffirming that I have made friends with some wonderful people over the past ten years.

Here are links to the stories themselves:

Mercy Killing the Dragon

The Last Warband

Both are set in the same fantasy world of Delmyria as my novel manuscript, in the style of vignettes from elsewhere in the world. The first is about a boy who seeks to free a dragon from its torment at the hands of his people, and the second is about a warrior sent away from his tribe because he has grown old.

Diana Hignutt · Jul 19, 2011

PsychicToaster said:
I started my own transition earlier this year, and as for the intersection of writing and being trans, I must say they are both colossal distractions. From what? From each other!

I find now that when I edit, I am having trouble seeing the value in the manuscripts I have in front of me because I am in such a different place emotionally than I was one and three years ago (respectively) when I wrote them. I still see why someone would be interested in the story, but I'm losing my own connection to them.

Likewise, transition itself and the complications that arise from it have taken precedence over my writing time a bit too frequently, and I have fallen out of the habit. I try to make time and set times to write but I miss them or wile them away on transition-related stuff that is, quite frankly, far more exciting.

The one place where I feel like I have an outlet for both at once is a body-replacement steampunk story I am writing called "Parts." It's in the form of a tumblr blog because it is the research journal of the protagonist, and something of a scrapbook of commentary from side characters.

Parts: A Steampunk Tale of Love and Mechanomorphosis

I know a lot of other folks in the trans community have been fans of fiction with body replacement and transhumanist themes (The Surrogates, The Matrix, Ghost In the Shell), and so I wanted to share my own metaphorical adventure. I know also that many say that they drifted away from those stories after starting transition (after all, it's no longer a truly relevant fantasy that strikes at a major emotional need) but I'd like to think it's still worth reading. ;-)

At the risk of turning this into an "all about Autumn showcase" post, my trans status became relevant to my writing yet again about a week ago when I posted two of my short stories for sale as eBooks. Before I could tell any of my friends and family about them and promote them, I had to explain to them why the name on the byline was a girl's name.

This led to me finally coming out publicly on Facebook (because that's what makes it official these days, right? ) as MTF transsexual in a lengthy note explaining the situation. So if not for my writing, I'd still be out only to a handful of people despite my appearance which is growing conspicuously less masculine. :-D

In the end, I received a not surprising, but no less welcome outpouring of support from friends and family alike. It was truly reaffirming that I have made friends with some wonderful people over the past ten years.

Here are links to the stories themselves:

Mercy Killing the Dragon

The Last Warband

Both are set in the same fantasy world of Delmyria as my novel manuscript, in the style of vignettes from elsewhere in the world. The first is about a boy who seeks to free a dragon from its torment at the hands of his people, and the second is about a warrior sent away from his tribe because he has grown old.

Congrats and Welcome, PT! To all of your milestones met and future successes!

PsychicToaster · Jul 19, 2011

Thanks

Much appreciated.

Mara · Jul 19, 2011

PsychicToaster said:
I find now that when I edit, I am having trouble seeing the value in the manuscripts I have in front of me because I am in such a different place emotionally than I was one and three years ago (respectively) when I wrote them. I still see why someone would be interested in the story, but I'm losing my own connection to them.

Oh, this. So much this. I mean, all writers change and older stories may not seem as relevant, but transitioning is one of the things that's almost guaranteed to cause it. Like, a draft I started in January (and basically finished by mid-February) was pretty much dependant on my frustration and anger, and now that I don't have it anymore, I just can't seem to get anything good out of editing it.

I think it tends to stabilize over time, though.

Caitlin Black · Jul 19, 2011

Try to think of it this way - those stories pre-transition were relevant to you at the time. So I'm sure if they were published now, they'd be relevant to some readers too.

PsychicToaster · Jul 20, 2011

That's how I try to look at it.

PsychicToaster · Jul 20, 2011

To elaborate a bit, part of why I feel so disconnected from the books is because I no longer have a need for the protagonist. It's not that she's an author avatar (I deliberately made a different character that

); she's about as different from me as it gets: temperamental, forceful, rash, rudely sarcastic, loves horses and dogs. Most of the story is about her getting her temper under control which is hardly an issue for me.

But she was my primary outlet for female expression. So I have a harder time justifying keeping certain scenes that used to mean more to me. After lopping off nearly 150 pages of bloat from the initial draft, it really has been pared down to just plot. But there are scenes and moments now that have no emotional resonance for me, so I am trying to resist the urge to trim them and rewrite the plot around them and eliminate what made them necessary in the first place. I tried doing that at first, and realized I was editing out the stuff that might still resonate with readers. It's just getting increasingly difficult to identify when it is chaff now that it's been so long and my original reasons for writing it have changed.

Other characters in the book just feel more interesting to me now because her story is no longer relevant to me. So what's happened in my most recent revision is pretty striking. Chapters from her POV have pages full of edit marks. Chapters from the POV of nearly everyone else have virtually none. I'm being overwhelmed by the urge to entirely change the nature of the character. The dangerous part is that I know this isn't necessary; the manuscript is done and just needs editing, not revising.

Caitlin Black · Jul 20, 2011

Perhaps you're trying to erase the past? Anything that meant something to you is now being tossed aside while you reinvent yourself. (Just a guess.)

I can't tell you what to do. I was going to say, "Leave her how she is, see if the book sells, if it doesn't write a new book." But then, perhaps that book could sell if she were rewritten?

Have you submitted this book anywhere?

PsychicToaster · Jul 20, 2011

Haha no, nothing so extreme as purging my past. I still have all my old Facebook photos up even.

I'd love to go back in time, but I don't feel any huge disconnect between before and now. (Then again, I'm still in the beginning/middle of the process)

I've submitted it before, and for all of the partials that got read, those agents who replied universally said the same thing: it starts in the wrong spot. So I had to fix that, which meant 3-4 passes to make sure the story stays consistent now that a whole chunk of the original beginning is gone.

However, I'm now at the point of needing to do it one more time as a final edit of the new/redone material, and I positively dread working on it.

Guardian · Jul 20, 2011

Hello again. I have tea so I decided to drop by the T party. *bad joke*

I'm gonna catch up a little.

Guardian · Jul 20, 2011

Congrats, Mara and good luck. I'm so happy for you.

Welcome, Psychic Toaster!

PsychicToaster · Jul 20, 2011

Thanks.

I see I am not the only one who has been converted to the cult of MLP.

Guardian · Jul 20, 2011

Yea, are you kidding?

I'm the one in charge of mixing the kool-aid.

Caitlin Black · Jul 21, 2011

PT - it could just be a general writer's thing; having beaten the material to death. I know a lot of published authors on this site say that by the time their new book is published, they never want to see it again.

So it could be that maybe?

Caitlin Black · Jul 22, 2011

Okay, update from me on trans issues.

So far, I still have no job or my own place, so transitioning is a long way away for me. Even so, I'm taking some advice from here and trying to accept myself as female in my daily actions, even if they're only small things.

1. I'm growing my hair longer. It's almost to the length which is the longest I've ever had it. Normally around this time, I get dismayed that medium-length hair (ie. not yet down to my shoulders, but long enough that the fringe needs cutting so that it'll get the fuck out of my eyes) looks crap on me, so I usually wind up getting a haircut and telling them, "Cut it short." So hopefully I can get past that this time. I honestly think long hair will suit me, and it will make me happier than I am now, because I know I'd have long hair if I were physically female. And when it gets long enough (probably down to my shoulders or just past) I'm planning on researching feminine hairstyles and femininising my head a little bit. Nothing too drastic - but I've noticed that women with long hair have different hair cuts to men with long hair, at least around here. So that's something that I'll be keeping track of.

2. My bad smile is gone! Okay, so I'm in a little pain right now, but that will pass. 2 of my top-front teeth used to be horribly decayed, along with one that wasn't visible (also in top). On Tuesday I had those 3 removed and false ones put in, on a plate. I'm not thrilled to have a plate in my mouth (it makes eating very strange, for starters) and also, being 27 with 3 false teeth makes me really regret my eating/drinking choices from the age of about 10 up to 25. Nothing but Coke et al, then alcohol with it, and chocolate and potato chips and lollies/candy and stuff. It's the same reason I eventually gained a lot of weight, and it ruined my teeth. But I'm looking at the positive side - I have a nice smile right now.

2a. Now that I'm not afraid to smile at people in public (ie. talking to someone who makes a joke) - I used to turn my head and curb my smile - my smile is getting a little more natural. And as it happens, the smile I see in the mirror now is a feminine smile. Like, it's hard to describe, but I can "see" that what is driving my smile is a feminine thing, as opposed to a masculine drive to smile. I don't know... but there seems to be a difference between how men and women smile, at least as far as I've noticed, and mine is a feminine one, which I'm happy about. Perhaps it's all in the eyes? I don't know...

3. I've lost weight, and am still losing weight. Thanks to volunteering at a second-hand store, I came across a pretty good exercise bike (not top of the line, but in good condition) for a small $16 (well, $20, but I get a staff discount). That was probably about 3 months ago now (time flies!) and, drum roll please... I used to be 88-89kg. Now I'm 82.5kg. My goal is 70-75kg, depending on what weight I am when my stomach is finally gone. But anyway, I'm about 1/3 of the way there, which makes me very happy. I can already notice a change in my body's shape.

3a. When my body doesn't make me think the word "fat" anymore, I'll be a lot happier with how I look. When that happens, I'll have more confidence, and doing feminine things without worrying about it will probably happen easier for me. Also, well, I want to eventually be a knockout of a woman, so the closer I am to that mental image of myself pre-transition, hopefully the easier it'll be to transition with confidence.

3b. I'm smoking less now, through will power. I can't quit, because it gives me schizophrenic episodes (yes, I'm schizophrenic, but on medication that generally works well for me - except when I'm craving cigarettes of course) that are so bad, I don't know what I'd do. In moments like that, I just want to die. Anyway! The point is, I've cut back, and am saving money. I now have enough to buy a Wii with a couple of games and an extended warranty. And after the next round of bills, which will be in the next 1.5-2 months, I can start saving again to buy the Wii Fit system, which should hopefully give me more incentive (ie. fun) to lose weight, and also tone my body, especially with the Yoga exercises. I've played Wii Fit before (sis has one, but she's moved out...) and I know it's fun, and know what sort of activities it has. Apparently Wii Fit Plus (the current one) has all of the Wii Fit stuff, plus some extra bits. And that's what I'll be buying eventually. But for now - I'm probably going to buy a Wii next weekend, right before I get paid again.

(I considered the XBox360 with Kinect, but it's soooo much more expensive!)

4. I'll be finishing Cert. III in Retail at the end of August. Once that happens, I'll be available to work every day except Thursday (when I have Uni) and will be qualified to be a Supervisor / Second-In-Charge in a store somewhere. So my chances of getting a job are only going to improve over the next couple of months.

...

Anyway, that's what's happening with me. Losing weight, nice smile, hair growing out, job prospects improving.

I'm pretty happy right now, and hopefully that mood will only get better in the coming 12 months. (I intend to be down to my ideal weight in 12 months, and hopefully have a secure paying job with decent money, be saving up to get my own place, long hair in a feminine style, more confidence, and hopefully I don't need any more traumatic dental work in that time.

)

/update

Becca_H · Jul 23, 2011

Cliff Face said:
Okay, update from me on trans issues.

So far, I still have no job or my own place, so transitioning is a long way away for me. Even so, I'm taking some advice from here and trying to accept myself as female in my daily actions, even if they're only small things.

1. I'm growing my hair longer. It's almost to the length which is the longest I've ever had it. Normally around this time, I get dismayed that medium-length hair (ie. not yet down to my shoulders, but long enough that the fringe needs cutting so that it'll get the fuck out of my eyes) looks crap on me, so I usually wind up getting a haircut and telling them, "Cut it short." So hopefully I can get past that this time. I honestly think long hair will suit me, and it will make me happier than I am now, because I know I'd have long hair if I were physically female. And when it gets long enough (probably down to my shoulders or just past) I'm planning on researching feminine hairstyles and femininising my head a little bit. Nothing too drastic - but I've noticed that women with long hair have different hair cuts to men with long hair, at least around here. So that's something that I'll be keeping track of.

2. My bad smile is gone! Okay, so I'm in a little pain right now, but that will pass. 2 of my top-front teeth used to be horribly decayed, along with one that wasn't visible (also in top). On Tuesday I had those 3 removed and false ones put in, on a plate. I'm not thrilled to have a plate in my mouth (it makes eating very strange, for starters) and also, being 27 with 3 false teeth makes me really regret my eating/drinking choices from the age of about 10 up to 25. Nothing but Coke et al, then alcohol with it, and chocolate and potato chips and lollies/candy and stuff. It's the same reason I eventually gained a lot of weight, and it ruined my teeth. But I'm looking at the positive side - I have a nice smile right now.

2a. Now that I'm not afraid to smile at people in public (ie. talking to someone who makes a joke) - I used to turn my head and curb my smile - my smile is getting a little more natural. And as it happens, the smile I see in the mirror now is a feminine smile. Like, it's hard to describe, but I can "see" that what is driving my smile is a feminine thing, as opposed to a masculine drive to smile. I don't know... but there seems to be a difference between how men and women smile, at least as far as I've noticed, and mine is a feminine one, which I'm happy about. Perhaps it's all in the eyes? I don't know...

3. I've lost weight, and am still losing weight. Thanks to volunteering at a second-hand store, I came across a pretty good exercise bike (not top of the line, but in good condition) for a small $16 (well, $20, but I get a staff discount). That was probably about 3 months ago now (time flies!) and, drum roll please... I used to be 88-89kg. Now I'm 82.5kg. My goal is 70-75kg, depending on what weight I am when my stomach is finally gone. But anyway, I'm about 1/3 of the way there, which makes me very happy. I can already notice a change in my body's shape.

3a. When my body doesn't make me think the word "fat" anymore, I'll be a lot happier with how I look. When that happens, I'll have more confidence, and doing feminine things without worrying about it will probably happen easier for me. Also, well, I want to eventually be a knockout of a woman, so the closer I am to that mental image of myself pre-transition, hopefully the easier it'll be to transition with confidence.

3b. I'm smoking less now, through will power. I can't quit, because it gives me schizophrenic episodes (yes, I'm schizophrenic, but on medication that generally works well for me - except when I'm craving cigarettes of course) that are so bad, I don't know what I'd do. In moments like that, I just want to die. Anyway! The point is, I've cut back, and am saving money. I now have enough to buy a Wii with a couple of games and an extended warranty. And after the next round of bills, which will be in the next 1.5-2 months, I can start saving again to buy the Wii Fit system, which should hopefully give me more incentive (ie. fun) to lose weight, and also tone my body, especially with the Yoga exercises. I've played Wii Fit before (sis has one, but she's moved out...) and I know it's fun, and know what sort of activities it has. Apparently Wii Fit Plus (the current one) has all of the Wii Fit stuff, plus some extra bits. And that's what I'll be buying eventually. But for now - I'm probably going to buy a Wii next weekend, right before I get paid again. (I considered the XBox360 with Kinect, but it's soooo much more expensive!)

4. I'll be finishing Cert. III in Retail at the end of August. Once that happens, I'll be available to work every day except Thursday (when I have Uni) and will be qualified to be a Supervisor / Second-In-Charge in a store somewhere. So my chances of getting a job are only going to improve over the next couple of months.

...

Anyway, that's what's happening with me. Losing weight, nice smile, hair growing out, job prospects improving.

I'm pretty happy right now, and hopefully that mood will only get better in the coming 12 months. (I intend to be down to my ideal weight in 12 months, and hopefully have a secure paying job with decent money, be saving up to get my own place, long hair in a feminine style, more confidence, and hopefully I don't need any more traumatic dental work in that time. )

/update

Cliff, that's great news. It's good to hear things are panning out well for you.

Growing out hair looks terrible on almost everyone - you're not alone. And you're going to be incredibly tempted to cut your fringe again over the next few months. RESIST. When I grew my hair out, I had to buy industrial-strength boy hair gel to keep it from looking ridiculous (and I mean ridiculous on both boys and girls). Wasn't exactly the nicest thing to do every morning, but I couldn't wear a hairband. See if you can get one of these, gender-neutral if you prefer. The purgatory hairstyle only lasts a few months before hitting your shoulders.

When it's long enough, find a trustworthy hairdresser who'll style it for you. This may be quite tricky. When I transitioned, my entire family had to stop using our hairdresser because he 'objected' to me being a girl. Yeah, well, that cost you financially. Idiot. Very few people cared - except him. You couldn't make it up.

I wouldn't necessarily agree that boys style long hair differently to girls. Because it's not the social norm, it immediately LOOKS different/strange/cute/whatever when you see a boy with long hair. But yeah, often guys are making a statement with long hair, whereas girls are just being normal.

When you start hormones/anti-androgens, you'll probably find your hair texture changes. This also contributes to the difference. It thickens up and looks more 'girly', without being choked by testosterone. About a year into being medicated, there was a very visible difference in the texture of old 'boy' hair and new 'girl' hair. But of course, this all varies on the person.

By the way, consider buying EA Active Personal Trainer instead of Wii Fit. I've heard it's actually better. (I've played both a handful of times, and the EA version seemed more exercise and weight-lossy, whereas Wii Fit seemed more fun.)

Caitlin Black · Jul 23, 2011

I've considered the Active game. I've read mixed reviews of it, of course. I think what I might do is get the Wii Fit Plus game first, and then look into Active.

At this point, I'm not fit enough to really do a lot of hard-hitting exercise. But I think using the Wii Fit Plus will gently ease me into it. And the fact that it's fun will help me stick with it.

It probably won't be until close to Christmas that I buy the Wii Fit Plus, though. I can't afford more than a basic Wii Bundle right now, and I have bills coming in the next couple of months.

Oh, and why did you mention not cutting my fringe? Is it normal to have a long fringe when you have long hair? I figured that it'd just get in my eyes, so I'd need some sort of shortish fringe, even though all non-fringe parts would get longer.

I'm a newbie when it comes to hair styles. *shrug*

PsychicToaster · Jul 23, 2011

I am in the same position hair-wise. My bangs (fringe) have gotten just long enough to curl on their own into these neat little Shirley Temple curls and aren't long enough to be pulled back, brushed aside, or pulled straight by their own weight.

There's basically no styling my hair right now as a result, haha.

I run and do yoga on alternating days. But nothing helped lose weight more than just controlling my diet.

Caitlin Black · Jul 24, 2011

I've been eating less after having those 3 teeth removed, and I suspect I was losing weight purely out of a combination of exercise and better eating choices before now anyway.

Hair-wise, I try to brush my fringe off to both sides to keep it out of my eyes. But I think perhaps if it were longer, it'd just flop into my eyes all day long. So I'll probably get my fringe cut, and the rest of my hair "tidied" at some point soon - though I'll not let the hairdresser cut too much off the rest of it.

(Also - "bangs". I've heard this term, but never knew what it meant. So does "bangs" mean "fringe"? I kind of thought it was the side part of the front of your hair... Like, the bits flanking the fringe? *shrug*)

In other news, I might be getting Wii Fit Plus a little sooner than expected.

I went to a different shopping centre that had 1 shop that is having a toy sale for the next week or so. I was intending to find out what deal they'd have for the Wii console itself. That deal wasn't anything special - I can get it cheaper with a better game elsewhere - but then I noticed they had the Wii Fit Plus for an awesome price.

Like, I'd be saving about $40 buying it there, compared to the next best deal I've seen. But like I said, the sale is only for the next week or so... Week and a half really.

So I've counted out my money, tried to figure out how much I'll be spending this coming week before I get paid again, and... Well, if I cash in my "emergency" money (lots of small coins - LOTS), then I can afford to buy the Wii bundle I wanted, and the Wii Fit Plus bundle I saw today, and still have a little bit left over.

It might leave me a little behind for the next month or so (some bills are expected soon) but I think the fact that I can save $40 if I buy now and worry later... Well, I think I should just take the plunge.

All told I'll be spending $267, which is a lot of money for me, and I've been saving for months. But I want it, and the money will just go towards books/CDs/DVDs if I don't buy this now. It's still a lot better than spending $500 on an XBox360 with Kinect. And I've played the Wii before - I know what to expect. I know Wii Fit Plus will help me lose weight, and help me treat my weight seriously (it's like having a personal trainer in some regards - it keeps track of things for me, and urges me on), whereas I've never played any Kinect games.

I'm still not 100% sold on buying the Wii Fit Plus right now, but in the end I think the simple fact that it's a once-in-a-year sale that will be over soon will steer me towards taking the plunge.

I wouldn't even be considering it if I hadn't got so many small coins, lol. 5c, 10c and 20c pieces really add up if you collect them for, oh, about 6 months. :tongue

So tomorrow I'll go to my bank and cash in those coins. And then either Thursday night, or sometime next weekend, I'll go spend a lot of money.

*gets excited*

Becca_H · Jul 24, 2011

Cliff Face said:
I've considered the Active game. I've read mixed reviews of it, of course. I think what I might do is get the Wii Fit Plus game first, and then look into Active.

At this point, I'm not fit enough to really do a lot of hard-hitting exercise. But I think using the Wii Fit Plus will gently ease me into it. And the fact that it's fun will help me stick with it.

It probably won't be until close to Christmas that I buy the Wii Fit Plus, though. I can't afford more than a basic Wii Bundle right now, and I have bills coming in the next couple of months.

Oh, and why did you mention not cutting my fringe? Is it normal to have a long fringe when you have long hair? I figured that it'd just get in my eyes, so I'd need some sort of shortish fringe, even though all non-fringe parts would get longer.

I'm a newbie when it comes to hair styles. *shrug*

Fringe and bangs are the same thing. Bangs is American English, but it's slipping into UK usage more and more each day now. A normal fringe (I'm sure there's a real term for it) is over your forehead. A side fringe is to the side.

If you want a fringe, then by all means keep it the length you want it. If you don't, then cutting it will just delay it's inevitable growing out. Remember this eventually becomes the front part of your hair, which you can tuck behind your ears or whatever. It will inevitably be in your eyes at some point, but that's only until it grows out and you have more control over it.

If you do want a fringe, remember that if you ever decide to grow it out, you'll have the same problem. The front of your hair, as it grows out, will be shorter than the rest of it, creating a choppy layered effect and/or look obvious to people that you did have a fringe and you're growing it out.

kuwisdelu · Jul 24, 2011

Cliff Face said:
1. I'm growing my hair longer. It's almost to the length which is the longest I've ever had it. Normally around this time, I get dismayed that medium-length hair (ie. not yet down to my shoulders, but long enough that the fringe needs cutting so that it'll get the fuck out of my eyes) looks crap on me, so I usually wind up getting a haircut and telling them, "Cut it short." So hopefully I can get past that this time. I honestly think long hair will suit me, and it will make me happier than I am now, because I know I'd have long hair if I were physically female. And when it gets long enough (probably down to my shoulders or just past) I'm planning on researching feminine hairstyles and femininising my head a little bit. Nothing too drastic - but I've noticed that women with long hair have different hair cuts to men with long hair, at least around here. So that's something that I'll be keeping track of.

You can do it. It'll be worth it! Mine is just starting to get long enough that I'm starting to like it again rather than annoying me. I'm going to have to go to the salon sometime soon, since it's starting to get a bit too thick. I couldn't really say whether my hair looks "masculine" or "feminine" though... I do know lots of girls tell me they're jealous of it, though.

Hmm, though now that you mention it, having short bangs with the rest of your hair longer is a style I don't see on many men, whose long hair tends to be long all around, while some girls will prefer to have short bangs. If you don't want it in your eyes, endure through that medium-length period, and then either tie it up or put it behind your ears or shoulders when it gets long enough. Having the front part too different a length would just annoy me.

The "T" Party.

Where am I again?

Very Tired

Very Tired

Very Tired

Writing Ninja

Very Tired

Writing Ninja

Clever User Title

Wild one

Writing Ninja

Writing Ninja

Wild one

Writing Ninja

just the worst honestly

just the worst honestly

Writing Ninja

just the worst honestly

Wild one

Wild one

Where am I again?

Wild one

Writing Ninja

Wild one

Where am I again?

Revolutionize the World