Another query question--when do you consider a rewrite?

Hi Kaitie - If you aren't getting the response you think you should be getting (given economic conditions, high word count, genre, etc), I'd say revise your query. But, the big question is, how do you determine what's a good response rate. And does good response rate also take into consideration rejections as well as requests (versus no responses).

Look at query letter samples on a couple other sites (Agentquery, Preditors and Editors, etc) and see how your query stacks up with their recommendations. And, if the agent you're submitting to has a sample query on their website, always take a look at it to make sure you're not out in left field. It's good to tailor the query to each specific agent (without going overboard and getting gushy.)

On your question, I do small modifications continually and on some have done major overhauls after a while (I don't send out massive mailings - only a few at a time). Not sure that will help, but ... Puma

kaitie said:

How many people out there have used more than one query at a time?

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I had several. I never believed my query could be a one size fits all. It was always sort of a fluid thing.

(An aside, but in QLH, I remember they came up with queries for the bible. Interesting how they not only came up with concise versions for such a tome, but many versions as well. Just went to show there are as many ways to query a book as there are books and writers and creativity in the universe.)

A ten percent request rate means you either have a lousy query, or you have a lousy method of targeting agents. If only one agent out of ten requests a full, you definitely need to rewrite the query.

It's impossible to give a definitive answer here, and a lot of this is knowing your book and its likely markets. Reality is some books do better than others because your novel is what it is and the market is what it is and never the twain shall meet.

First thing in evaluating a query is knowing the number of responses compared to how many sent out. You have 4, but we don't know from how many. Out of 50, you're not doing too bad. Out of 100, you're still not where I'd panic. Out of 200, then maybe I'd be concerned.

Second thing to factor into this is what percentage of your queries go out naked, and how many bring along the first ten pages for company. Personally, if the first ten pages are good, then I send them along, but obviously, this reduces your ability to evaluate your query. And I worry a lot more about openings than I do about queries.

Now you start looking at the query. First thing to look at is whether the premise and plot show up. I'm talking broad plot here, such as orphan saves world, or whatever. If they don't, you're dead in the water. And as part of this, I look at whether I've read this before. If I have, you have to work harder to keep my attention.

At this point, I tend to come up with a word count that I think is appropriate to this type of book and genre. Then I check to see whether the author agrees. Part of this involves going back to the market and seeing what's going on with the market. Go down to your bookstore and look at debut authors. How many in the genre are you finding and what is their word count. Don't tell me what Stephen King is writing, tell me what Joe I'veneverwrittenbefore is getting published.

Then I look at the voice. Voice is subjective, but there should be some voice in any query. And I look at how I'd edit the letter. Is my desire to edit screaming or is it fairly quiet. And I'm also factoring in pacing. Is the writer building the appropriate tension in their letter (realize that this varies from genre).

Now realize that some of this can't be changed. Limitations in the book will cause limitations in the query. If the book doesn't have much voice, then the query won't.

Then, looking at the entire package, I figure out how well I think it's going to do, because the 10% rule is a bunch of crap. Each query is different. Some queries can easily exceed 20% while others aren't. For instance, when I queried THE NEXT STEP, I wasn't expecting a lot of response. Hell, the book is about dying! How many people do I think I'm going to interest in it? The premise is just not something that causes people to go wow. On the other hand, a book with the premise that the President of the United States is also a mass murderer, sneaking away from the Secret Service to kill off Congressmen that vote against him, and getting away with it, now that would get the attention of a lot of agents.

In your case, you have a word count problem, you've got biological weapons (read them before -- a lot), CIA (read them before -- a lot), a weak voice that is probably consistent with your book, and not much tension (again, probably consistent with your book). It's going to be a harder sell then other thrillers or suspense book. Not impossible, but I would see a response in the 5% range as reasonable. It's not that bad, but it isn't that good, either.

And I don't think working on the query is going to change it much. Short of a serious rewrite of your book, bringing down the word count, working harder on the voice, and increasing the tension (which will come about in part as the word count drops), my guess is your query is doing a good job of accurately describing your book.

But this is all guessing. It's an attempt to apply logic to something that isn't really logical.

All I know is that the best advice is when you start querying, don't worry about that book anymore. Work on your next book and making it even better than your last.

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe

jclarkdawe it's interesting that you mention queries going out "naked." The two actual rejections that I've received were based on query only, no sample chapters. And kaitie I am in query hell right with you! My manuscript is 125,000 words, so I feel your pain in that, too!

You've already had some good responses, but I will add that if you get to the place where you're not getting what you think is a minimally acceptable request rate, then I'd look at both the query and the opening pages.

Even a kickass query can't sell less than kickass first pages. So, if you get to the place where you decide to re-evaluate, re-evaluate both the query and the first chaptes of the book.

good luck.

~suki