Fortunately...unfortunately
- Thread starter QueenB
- Start date
...he is (shall we say) a bit sloshed when he does the surgery, so when the bandages come off, your eyebrows are out of line and your mouth is weirdly twisted. Fortunately...
armydillo978
Banned
You look like the Joker and gets tons of cos-play fans who adore your new....look.
Unfortantely
Unfortantely
...the actor who is slated to play the Joker in the next Batman film sees your new look and fears you will get the part instead of him, so he hires some thugs to beat you to a pulp. Fortunately...
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Their ministrations to your face have corrected the plastic surgery gaff, and now you look like John Stamos. Unfortunately....
everywhere you go, supermarkets, malls, and more importantly restaurants, you are inundated by pushy Stamos fans asking for selfies, autographs, and even money. You are so overwhelmed that you become a shut in. Fortunately . . .
...you find an email in your spam folder that says, "Want to change your looks? Become a NEW YOU with Xazprofyl! Friends will be amazed! Even your dog won't recognize you! Only $99.99 for a month's supply!"
You place an order. Unfortunately...
You place an order. Unfortunately...
it was a scam. You paid with a credit card, and the next day VISA calls to inform you that you are over your limit, and that they have canceled all of your cards. Fortunately . . .
the driver accepts your offer, and suggests handcuffing you to the bed. You agree, the driver cuffs you, then lets in her (or his) waiting friends and they proceed to loot your house. What they don't take, they trash. They leave you handcuffed to the bed. Fortunately . . .
you are an escape artist, and by simple manipulation of your thumb, you are able to slide effortlessly out of the handcuffs.
Unfortunately...
Unfortunately...
...you smell smoke, and you run toward the front door but find it blocked by heavy furniture. Coughing, you realize that the pizza delivery driver and his friends set fire to your house before leaving. All your doors and windows are blocked. You reach for your phone, but the battery is dead. You are coughing heavily now. Fortunately...
the building was constructed on the cheap: the inside walls are 1/4 inch Sheetrock, and the outside is thin-gauge aluminum siding. You grab the toilet-brush and easily smash through the wall to safety. Unfortunately . . .
...this wall fronts on a cliff, and recent erosion (climate change!) has eaten away most of the earth around the house. You push your way through the wall onto...nothing! Fortunately...
as you plummet toward oblivion, the bristly pouf at the end of the toilet brush you're still holding catches between two rocks protruding from the cliff face. Unfortunately...
you are left dangling several hundred feet up a sheer rock wall, and are unable to reach the climbing hammer and pitons you always carry in your backpack. Fortunately . . .
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Unfortunately, you now may be out of the fire, but you're still in the frying pan, so to speak. However, from your vantage point you realize you weren't saved by just any old rocks, these aren't simple rocks at all. Your toilet brush lodged in the clevage of a Mount Rushmore sized omage to master stripper, Debbie Delights and her .... well, ...um, tallents. Fortunately...
if you swing your leg high and hard to the left you can get a foot hold on her right nipple. Unfortunately...
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2015
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- 3,563
- Reaction score
- 194
Unfortunately, you can't quite reach and the old adage about strippers; 'you're gonna get screwed, but you won't get laid' holds true. You're still stuck and dangling like a tassle from the rock face, or rock chest as it were. Fortunately...
as the toilet brush slides almost imperceptibly downward, like a tantalizing trickle of sweat between...never mind, it's cleaning out twenty years worth of unsightly dead leaves and dirt that have collected in Debbie's otherwise magnificent cleavage. Unfortunately...
the debris is what was holding the toilet brush, and you now find yourself plunging (no pun intended) down the sheer rock face toward your, almost certain, death. Fortunately . . .