Fortunately...unfortunately

one of the people in the group who is a quick thinker, convinces the cops that the striptease is part of a Wiccan ritual paying homage to the Earth Goddess. Unfortunately,

one of the cops is a religious fanatic who believes Wiccans are evil and that they should be shot on sight. Fortunately,

one of the other cops, who is a closet Wiccan, manages to calm down his intolerant associate by bribing him with the promise of a coffee and donut later on. Unfortunately,

the police chief shows up and, thinking that his cops are participating in the ritual, strips them of their badges and hauls everybody off to jail. Fortunately,

the judge is sympathetic and lets them all out on bail. Unfortunately,

they are only allowed out under the custody of the 1st cop's evil twin. Fortunately,

you know about the evil twin's crimes and threaten him with blackmail if he doesn't let you go. Unfortunately,

you didn't know about his last conviction for cannibalism and you are lookin' mighty tasty to him right now (must be the bra), so he lets all the others go and takes you back to his place where he immediately starts to preheat the oven and chop some onions. Fortunately,

you dabbed a bit of peanut butter behind your ears and the evil cannibal twin is deathly allergic to peanut butter, so he's unable to eat you without becoming violently ill. Unfortunately,

he finds out that the butter is really margarine, to which he is not allergic, and prepares for the feast. Fortunately,

just as he is about to filet you for easy frying, some itinerate missionaries ring his doorbell and engage him in a lengthy discussion on whether or not he is saved--and can you blame them for their concern after they find him with a naked man wearing nothing but a ratty old bra? Unfortunately,

the missionaries take a shine to him and help him lock you in the cellar. Fortunately,

a friendly rat chews away the ropes you are bound with and sets you free. Unfortunately,

the friendly rat has a wife who is quite foul-tempered and hostile, and furthermore is short-sighted. Mistaking you for a large lump of stinky cheese, she pounces on you and commences gnawing on your throat. Fortunately,

you have some breath mints in your pocket, and as soon as you pop them in your mouth your throat no longer stinks, so the ravenous rat stops chewing on it. Unfortunately,

your breath is so minty fresh that the rat can't resist kissing you on the lips. You have never been French kissed by a rat before and wish that the pleasure had been indefinitely postponed. Fortunately,

the male rat becomes jealous and pulls his wife away from your lips. Unfortunately,

the male rat has suddenly changed his friendly attitude and pulls out a loaded revolver and points it at your head. Fortunately,

it is a revolver he got from a cartoon, and when he pulls the trigger, a little flag pops out that reads "Bang!" Unfortunately,

since cartoon reality has suddenly become the new paradigm, an anvil materializes out of thin air and falls on your head. Fortunately,

after you are completely flattened by the anvil, you pop back to your normal form--this is cartoon reality, remember?--after which you pick up the rat by its tail, swing it around a few hundred times, hurl it through the wall (where it leaves a rat-shaped hole), and walk unscathed from the cellar. Unfortunately,

you are no longer in the cellar but on the 100th floor of a skyscraper and you fall screaming with a mouth wide open so we can see your tonsils, fortunately...

fortunately, your tonsils look healthy and there is no reason the doctor would take them out...unfortunately,

as you are still wearing only the bra, several people looking out of the windows of the skyscraper were offended and have called the police to report an indecent exposure incident so yet another paddy wagon (will your bad day never end???) is waiting for you to land. Fortunately,

fortunately when you land, you land on top of the Paddy Wagon wrecking it so they can't haul you away, unfortunately...