there's a stray golden apple rolling around on the floor, which you manage to put plenty of spin on when you throw it and bean Herc, dazing him just long enough for you to make your escape. Unfortunately...
Fortunately...unfortunately
- Thread starter QueenB
- Start date
as is your wont, you trip on the door jamb, and fall flat on your face. Your clumsiness allows the stunned, and now angry, Hercules time to catch up with you. Fortunately . . .
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from your position on the floor you can now see where the transporter thingamajiggy skittered under the couch yesterday. Your arm just fits into the gap, and by the tippy tips of your fingers you manage to swoosh it out and into your grasp. You quickly make a random destination entry and transport your ass outa there. Unfortunately...
...you have transported yourself behind the high wall on Skull Island, and though King Kong is long gone, his descendant King Kong IV is still upset over that Empire State Building thing. He regularly kills intruders, and it takes only a minute before he spots you. Fortunately...
you are still holding the transporter thingamajiggy, and quickly use it to transport yourself to safety. Unfortunately . . .
Safety is the name of a harbor town on the west shore of Tampa Bay, an area that is home to dinner-plate-sized poisonous Bufo toads. Fortunately...
...you happen to have a can of ToadAway in your pocket. You pull it out, spray the area and easily dispatch the noxious amphibians. Unfortunately...
You get a taste of your own medicine, the ever meddling breeze decided to swirl up something more threatening than disorientated twigs and doomed leaves, it used the wood witch's spare broom to rustle up a most savage meal. The TOADAWAY spray worked like a charmless charm, however you are only supposed to use it whilst wearing a TOADAWAY FACE MASK™ due to the risk of breathing in your victims ashes. You had naively assumed the poor croakers were conveniently dissolved and rendered redundant but nature takes care of its own little buggers, I suggest you run to your nearest store and purchase my new and reasonably priced product LAXATOAD, instead of coughing up vengeful members of the wronged toad brethren, you'll be sending them to the sewers in first class, only $499 per capsule and I'll throw in a free - oh, your credit's no good here... fortunately
You consider yourself to be quite adept at shop lifting. When no one's looking you grab a can and casually stuff it into your back pack. Unfortunately . . .
..."when no one's looking" turns out to be a delusion. Not only does the shopkeeper see you, but the store's four surveillance cams capture you stealing the can. Before you can get out the door, a cop car pulls up. Fortunately...
over the years you've become quite skillful at talking yourself out of such predicaments. You run up to the cop, and breathlessly tell him there is a man inside threatening people with a gun. He thanks you and runs inside. You notice that he left the key in his motorcycle. You hop on, start it, and drive off toward the sunset, just like in the movies. Unfortunately . . .
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...as you drive toward the sunset, lulled by the rose-gold hues of the evening sky, you fail to notice a sinkhole that has opened up in the road ahead of you, and with a shock you feel yourself plunging down, down, down. Fortunately...
you are an experienced dirt-bike rider. Even though the police cycle is heaver than what you are used to, you manage to drive around in a circle, slowly inching up the dirt wall of the sinkhole until you finally get to the top. There you are surprised to find the large crowd that had gathered, are giving you a round of applaud for your feat. You wave to them as you resume your ride off into the sunset. Unfortunately . . .
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The angry store owner is among those in the crowd and demands your arrest, which the cop you stole the cycle from is all too ready to accomplish.
Fortunately...
Fortunately...
...most of the crowd are part of a left-wind right-wing coalition of anti-police demonstrators. They block the cop and the store owner in order to let you get away on the stolen motorcycle. Unfortunately...
SandyH
Banned
it's not your bike so you don't really care. In the confusion you quietly walk away. Unfortunately . . .
you always carry a copy of the restraining order a judge had issued, and remind her that she must not come within 500 feet of you. Unfortunately . . .
...your ex doesn't give a damn and keeps walking toward you, carrying an axe (an ex's axe, get it?) Fortunately...
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her eyesight is really bad (How else could she have married you) and if you don't move she is likely to walk right past you ... unfortunately ...
...she's wearing her brand new prescription glasses and you forgot you're wearing a blinking lights necklace that responds to stress. Fortunately...
it's a small electric chainsaw which she is waving in her right hand, and in her left, she is holding the power cord. Unfortunately . . .