Fortunately...unfortunately

CDSinex

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they quickly realize you are American, and contact the nearest U.S. Consulate. Unfortunately...
 

possiblerobot

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...They're willing to wait until the computers are operating again to check your identity. Unfortunately...
 

Mary Mitchell

Go down road, go pub.
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you've had to go to the bathroom for the past half hour, and while you're waiting (in the interview room they've temporarily locked you in) you piss your pants. Fortunately...
 

possiblerobot

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...They bring you some fresh clothes to change into. Unfortunately...
 

CDSinex

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you look, or so you think, really good in tight jeans, so you put them on and start to strut your stuff. Unfortunately...
 

Nymtoc

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...before you take ten steps, the seat of the pants rips, exposing your bare derrière (this could have been predicted, n'est-ce pas?). Fortunately...
 

Nymtoc

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...it is made of transparent material. Fortunately...
 
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CDSinex

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when people see it they think it's a butt printed on the tails of your morning coat, and commend you for your bold condemnation of rigid society. Unfortunately...
 

Mary Mitchell

Go down road, go pub.
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the computers have come back online, and, due to a case of mistaken identity, you apear on the FBI's 10 most wanted list. Fortunately...
 

Zoe R

Fluffhead! Fluffy fluffy head!
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before they can try to spell your name correctly, the fire alarm goes off and the building must be evacuated. Fortunately...
 

CDSinex

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one leg is chained to a rather burly agent and you fall flat on your face. Fortunately...
 

Zoe R

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everyone around you thinks it's hysterical and starts cracking up. Unfortunately....
 

Nymtoc

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...it's no joke, and blood is gushing from your nose. Fortunately...
 

possiblerobot

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...The paramedics that come with the firefighters stop the bleeding for you. Unfortunately...
 

Nymtoc

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...a procession of nuns comes between you and the cops (maybe you're in a Fellini film). Unfortunately...
 

neandermagnon

Nolite timere, consilium callidum habeo!
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... they aren't really nuns, they're a gang of organised criminals disguised as nuns and they pull you into the back of an unmarked white van. Fortunately...
 

Zoe R

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the burly security guard is still shackled to you and they pull him in too. Unfortunately...