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Thread: Fortunately...unfortunately

  1. #2451
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...a Goodyear Blimp has just taken off from a nearby flying field and hasn't gained much height, and it passes under you as you fall, allowing you to land on its silvery surface. You bounce a couple of times and settle onto the top of the blimp as it continues to rise into the air. Unfortunately...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  2. #2452
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
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    you feel as though you are slipping off. You remember the climbing hammer and pitons in your backpack, and quickly sink one into the blimp's skin causing it to deflate. You again find yourself plunging toward the ground. Fortunately . . .
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  3. #2453
    Do I have to? BryanT's Avatar
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    fortunately, as the air shoots out from the blimp, it propels the blimp forward, and you catch a trailing line from it, stopping your descent. As the blimp runs out of air, you are low enough that you can safely drop to the ground, which you do.

    Unfortunately....
    Quote Originally Posted by be frank View Post
    It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to raise your middle finger.
    Quote Originally Posted by be frank View Post
    Aaaah, coffee... Wine and beer I can live without, but cut me off from my coffee and I'll kill you violently.
    You can also read my poetry on All Poetry

  4. #2454
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    the ground you drop onto is quicksand. Fortunately...
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  5. #2455
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...you remember seeing a video about getting out of quicksand. The rules went something like this:

    1. Don't struggle
    2. Wiggle your legs slowly
    3. Try to assume a horizontal position
    4. Remain calm

    Unfortunately...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  6. #2456
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    calm isn't in your current repertoire. Fortunately...
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  7. #2457
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Forunately, you don't have to. A hoard of pigmys witnessed your decent from the blimp and have found you flailing in the muck and pulled you back to terra firma. You are greatful for their aid and don't want to be seen as rude, so you follow them back to their village and you suddenly feel like you're in the land of Lilliput. Unfortunately...


  8. #2458
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...the pygmies are cannibals. Fortunately...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  9. #2459
    Do I have to? BryanT's Avatar
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    They have just finished eating, so are not in the mood for a bite of you. They bring you to a seat on a raised Dias, indicating that you should sit. As you do, they form up in lines, and start chanting and bowing to you. You think They must think I am a God! So you relax, and get comfortable on the seat while they bring out platters of meat, fruits and vegetables and present them to you.

    Unfortunately....
    Quote Originally Posted by be frank View Post
    It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to raise your middle finger.
    Quote Originally Posted by be frank View Post
    Aaaah, coffee... Wine and beer I can live without, but cut me off from my coffee and I'll kill you violently.
    You can also read my poetry on All Poetry

  10. #2460
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Unfortunately, one platter of meat is wearing a watch you recognize. Veganism is sounding better all the time. Fortunately...


  11. #2461
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...since it's still possible they think you are a god, you use a combination of grunts and creative body movements to teach them that the proper foods for them are only nuts and berries. Unfortunately...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  12. #2462
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Unfortunately, they shout the one English word they know; bullshit. (They know what it means too) After pelting you with rocks to tenderize the tough western grown meat, they start baisting you with a foul smelling liquid. Fortunately...


  13. #2463
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    the basting liquid contains a growth hormone, and you turn into The Hulk. Hulk mad. Unfortunately...
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  14. #2464
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...the Hulk is a character owned by Marvel Comics, and as soon as your sudden strength allows you to escape from the cannibal pygmies, two FBI agents arrive and put you in handcuffs for copyright violation. Fortunately...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  15. #2465
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Fortunately, Stan Lee is much too preoccupied with more pressing issues than you to really be concerned about chasing you for damages in a lengthy court process that could take years. Unfortunately...


  16. #2466
    Do I have to? BryanT's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, that is what he has lawyers for. Fortunately ...
    Quote Originally Posted by be frank View Post
    It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to raise your middle finger.
    Quote Originally Posted by be frank View Post
    Aaaah, coffee... Wine and beer I can live without, but cut me off from my coffee and I'll kill you violently.
    You can also read my poetry on All Poetry

  17. #2467
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...his lawyers are bribeable, and you can easily give them a sweet deal by using your credit card. Unfortunately...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  18. #2468
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    it fell out of your pocket back when you were hurtling earthward, and the wind sailed it as far as Monte Carlo, where it was found and maxed out paying for an exorbitant hotel room, four cases of champagne, and the companionship of several females with expensive tastes. Fortunately...
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  19. #2469
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Fortunately someone got some really great memories out of the deal and is now indebted to you bigtime. Unfortunately...


  20. #2470
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    while their indebtedness would include bribing lawyers on your behalf, they are unwilling to reveal themselves for fear of your siccing your own lawyers on them for ruining your credit rating. Fortunately...
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  21. #2471
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Fortunately, when you go to the hotel to straighten things out with the management, they tell you some things were left in the room. Normally they hold items for only seven days, on the off chance someone will come back for it, but for some reason the bags were still in lost and found. When you got through the contents, you find not one, not two, but three custom tailored Armani suits; just your size, a 24K toiletry set, and roughly ten million Lira in gamming chips. Unfortunately...


  22. #2472
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...a woman in a slinky leather outfit appears wtih a gun and says, "I'll take that." She's not a cop. She's an agent of a gang of assassins called called KRUSH, which is determined to rob, torture and kill until it takes over the world. Fortunately...
    Last edited by Nymtoc; 07-28-2017 at 08:47 PM.


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  23. #2473
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Fortunately, she has her own priorities. She dumps out the bag and runs off with it, the Louis Vitan emblems reflecting light from the crystal chandeliers and she went. Unfortunately...


  24. #2474
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...her backup, a blonde in a camouflage suit, arrives with an AK-47 and says, "It is obvious you are an agent for the CIA, FBI, NSA and the Daily Show! You are coming with me!" Fortunately...
    Last edited by Nymtoc; 07-29-2017 at 06:01 AM.


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  25. #2475
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Fortunately you are able to convince the androgynous goon with the gun each of those organizations have rules about moonlighting, so there's no way you could work for more than one. So you hand the goon a business card for Stan Lee's lawyer and assert you work for the firm as an investigator, running down claims and alibis and start asking questions annoying enough to make the goon rethink becoming a dentist like Mom wanted. Unfortunately...


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