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Thread: Fortunately...unfortunately

  1. #2576
    practical experience, FTW JoB42's Avatar
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    ...you just realized you meant to order Domino's, not a dominatrix! What the heck is this lady doing to you? Fortunately...

  2. #2577
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
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    You start shouting, "I ordered Domino's pizza, not you!" She looks confused, packs up, and leaves. Apparently "pizza" was the prearranged "safe word." Unfortunately . . .
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  3. #2578
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    she didn't untether you before she left, and now you are unable to reach the phone, and your mouth is so-o-o-o watering for pizza (with, sshhhhh, pineapple on it). Fortunately...
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  4. #2579
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
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    a nurse walks in, sees your predicament, and asks if you would like to be untethered. You politely answer, "Yes, please." She smiles, and says, "I'll have to go to the nurse's station to get the keys, BRB." Unfortunately . . .
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  5. #2580
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Unfortunately she comes back wearing thigh high spike healed boots and a pvc bra and panty set, carying a video camera, a riding crop, and a black leather hood and says if you want loose you have to do something for her first. Fortunately...


  6. #2581
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Fortunately that's exactly the right level of kink for you and she's your ideal woman in every way. Unfortunately...


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  7. #2582
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Unfortunately her partner comes in wearing a simmilar ensamble. The only thing you can think of is that bra strap has to chafe where it digs into his hairy back. Fortunately...


  8. #2583
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Fortunately they brought an outfit for you too! Unfortunately...


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  9. #2584
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Unfortunately it's all going to be on video. Fortunately...


  10. #2585
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Fortunately the video was just the thing you needed to start your career as a reality TV star! Unfortunately...


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  11. #2586
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Unfortunately people are just plain tired of reality television. The Kardashians, the bearded duckcall people, and the real housewives of every podunk town on the planet have pushed people to the point of regurgitation. Fortunately...


  12. #2587
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Fortunately, Donald Trump decides to 'take you under his wing'. Unfortunately...


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  13. #2588
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...he demands loyalty from you, but the moment you whisper something negative about him to the media, he becomes furious. Fortunately...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  14. #2589
    Aspiring supervillain Pony.'s Avatar
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    Fortunately after he fires you Fox News helps you parlay the experience into a position as a regular commentator on a children's themed news program. Unfortunately...


  15. #2590
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...at the end of your first program, not realizing you are on a live camera and live mic, you say, "That'll take care of the little bastards for today."* It goes viral, and you are fired.

    * This really happened to a kiddie-show host years ago.

    Fortunately,


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  16. #2591
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Fortunately that's just the kind of talk The Donald appreciates, he does a 180 and hires you to replace Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Unfortunately....


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  17. #2592
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
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    he makes you wear her hair, makeup, and wardrobe. Fortunately . . .
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  18. #2593
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...the press corps (which doesn't have much to laugh about at the White House) enjoys your "makeover" and gives you a standing ovation. Unfortunately...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  19. #2594
    Professor of applied misanthropy Drachen Jager's Avatar
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    Unfortunately this turns out to be the key to breaking the seventh seal, thus unleashing the apocalypse on Earth (turns out that was Trump's plan all along). Fortunately....


    A list of things to do and avoid on your first page. (Not my blog post, kudos to the fabulous Anne Mini for compiling those.)

  20. #2595
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    the apocalypse involves four horsemen, and thus four horses, and you lurves horsies. Unfortunately...
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  21. #2596
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
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    the four horses are presently being boarded in your living room, which is now a foul-smelling mess. Fortunately . . .
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

  22. #2597
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...Hercules turns up, and since he knows something about cleaning stables, he offers to clean your living room. Unfortunately...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  23. #2598
    Go down road, go pub. Mary Mitchell's Avatar
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    his cape and headdress made from the Nemean lion's pelt is no longer made of sturdy stuff, the lion being dead and all, and it sheds all over your furniture. Fortunately...
    It's a simple fact of life that not everyone will be your target audience.

  24. #2599
    Benefactor Member Nymtoc's Avatar
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    ...Athena, who has a soft spot for Herc, decides to help him out, and the lion's-pelt-crap disappears. Unfortunately...


    "Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes, but which no democracy can afford among its citizens." -- William Beveridge

  25. #2600
    Imagine something clever here. CDSinex's Avatar
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    she has apparently taken a liking to you, which does not go unnoticed by Hercules as he sits in a corner and plots your future. Fortunately . . .
    Some of my previously published poems are now on PoemHunter CDSinex

    Clay is molded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. Lao Tzu (c. 601~ 531 B.C.E.)

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