...you just realized you meant to order Domino's, not a dominatrix! What the heck is this lady doing to you? Fortunately...
Fortunately...unfortunately
- Thread starter QueenB
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You start shouting, "I ordered Domino's pizza, not you!" She looks confused, packs up, and leaves. Apparently "pizza" was the prearranged "safe word." Unfortunately . . .
she didn't untether you before she left, and now you are unable to reach the phone, and your mouth is so-o-o-o watering for pizza (with, sshhhhh, pineapple on it). Fortunately...
a nurse walks in, sees your predicament, and asks if you would like to be untethered. You politely answer, "Yes, please." She smiles, and says, "I'll have to go to the nurse's station to get the keys, BRB." Unfortunately . . .
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Unfortunately she comes back wearing thigh high spike healed boots and a pvc bra and panty set, carying a video camera, a riding crop, and a black leather hood and says if you want loose you have to do something for her first. Fortunately...
Fortunately that's exactly the right level of kink for you and she's your ideal woman in every way. Unfortunately...
Fortunately the video was just the thing you needed to start your career as a reality TV star! Unfortunately...
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Unfortunately people are just plain tired of reality television. The Kardashians, the bearded duckcall people, and the real housewives of every podunk town on the planet have pushed people to the point of regurgitation. Fortunately...
...he demands loyalty from you, but the moment you whisper something negative about him to the media, he becomes furious. Fortunately...
...at the end of your first program, not realizing you are on a live camera and live mic, you say, "That'll take care of the little bastards for today."* It goes viral, and you are fired.
* This really happened to a kiddie-show host years ago.
Fortunately,
* This really happened to a kiddie-show host years ago.
Fortunately,
Fortunately that's just the kind of talk The Donald appreciates, he does a 180 and hires you to replace Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Unfortunately....
...the press corps (which doesn't have much to laugh about at the White House) enjoys your "makeover" and gives you a standing ovation. Unfortunately...
Unfortunately this turns out to be the key to breaking the seventh seal, thus unleashing the apocalypse on Earth (turns out that was Trump's plan all along). Fortunately....
the apocalypse involves four horsemen, and thus four horses, and you lurves horsies. Unfortunately...
the four horses are presently being boarded in your living room, which is now a foul-smelling mess. Fortunately . . .
...Hercules turns up, and since he knows something about cleaning stables, he offers to clean your living room. Unfortunately...
his cape and headdress made from the Nemean lion's pelt is no longer made of sturdy stuff, the lion being dead and all, and it sheds all over your furniture. Fortunately...
...Athena, who has a soft spot for Herc, decides to help him out, and the lion's-pelt-crap disappears. Unfortunately...
she has apparently taken a liking to you, which does not go unnoticed by Hercules as he sits in a corner and plots your future. Fortunately . . .