You aren't making an effort now. You're looking for some kind of confirmation to legitimize your writing from other people.
If you've been writing for years then go write. Once you get the story down, that's the point to analyze it, to look at the characters and develop them, to clean it up and tighten the storyline. Not before.
And you shouldn't get defensive when people are trying to help you. Seriously. We are all writers here in varying stages of development. I am trying to help you as both a writer and an editor and I am telling you that it is in your best interests to stop torturing yourself about what is "right" and "wrong" and just write the damn story.