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Thread: Fun With DS Titles

  1. #51
    Hidin' the bodies SouthernFriedJulie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by treehugger View Post
    Available right now for LiveStrong:

    How to Make Your Butt Bigger without Surgery

    Step 1. Buy doughnuts.
    Step 2. Sit down.
    Step 3. Stuff face.
    Step 4. Repeat steps 1-3 until your butt is the desired size.
    Owner, Black Label Books, a new Indie E-Publisher of short stories, novellas, and an upcoming poetry collection. Check out BLB's new releases by your fellow AW'ers.

  2. #52
    Scout Mom stldenise's Avatar
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    I wonder what the heck they were looking for??

  3. #53
    Fixed it. I think.
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    Quote Originally Posted by treehugger View Post
    Available right now for LiveStrong:

    How to Make Your Butt Bigger without Surgery

    Step 1. Buy doughnuts.
    Step 2. Sit down.
    Step 3. Stuff face.
    Step 4. Repeat steps 1-3 until your butt is the desired size.
    lol!

  4. #54
    practical experience, FTW
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    Just so that we can keep this thread going, here's one I found today:

    How Do I Stop My Computer DVD From Chattering?

    Uhm. . .tell it to talk to other DVDs on it's own time?

    Eric

  5. #55
    Listening to the Voices In My Head Satori1977's Avatar
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    These are hilarious! I am laughing so hard, that I am now crying. Thanks, and keep 'em coming!
    Rejection isn't failure. Failure is giving up. Everybody gets rejected, it's how you handle it that determines where you will end up.

    Richard Castle


  6. #56
    Listening to the Voices In My Head Satori1977's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angie View Post
    How to Make a Prosthetic Leg for a Cat

    Which should have a follow-up article: How to Attach a Prosthetic Leg to a Cat

    And THAT should be an interesting read...
    Thought this one was interesting because they are starting to do prosthetics for dogs. I used to work with a vet that helped pioneer this, and helped take care of one of the first dog receipients of a prosthetic limb.
    Rejection isn't failure. Failure is giving up. Everybody gets rejected, it's how you handle it that determines where you will end up.

    Richard Castle


  7. #57
    Listening to the Voices In My Head Satori1977's Avatar
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    How to Undergo a Prostatectomy
    1. Go to the hospital
    2. Let them knock you out

    How to Calculate Flow Through an Orifice...this one is funny because it is under Conditions, Diseases and Treatments...just made me think of bad things shooting out of orifices (vomit, diarrhea....who wants to read an article about that??)

    How to Shrink Your Bladder
    1. Pee

    How to Read a Pap Smear Cytology Slide...do people really do their own at home pap smears??

    How to Extract Poison From the Skin With Hot Water in a Bottle
    What?!?

    How to Remove a Lazy Susan?
    1. Tell her to get out

    Introduction to Work Attitude & Value Enhancement...I found this one under Sexuality ;-)
    Rejection isn't failure. Failure is giving up. Everybody gets rejected, it's how you handle it that determines where you will end up.

    Richard Castle


  8. #58
    practical experience, FTW dochas's Avatar
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    "Strapless Bra Dangers"


  9. #59
    practical experience, FTW dochas's Avatar
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    "How to Protect Your Car Paint Against Fire"

    Um, don't park to close to a burning building? 'cause I'm thinkin' if my car's on fire, I've got way bigger problems than the paint job!

  10. #60
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    LOL!!! This thread is the best laugh I've had all day. I sooo needed that.

    Available now:

    How many miles per day is safe to drive?
    1. Depends on how many Red Bulls you've had


    Is berber carpet still in?
    1. No, but I hear shag is making a comeback

    Is gorilla glue the best?
    1. Personally, I prefer to glue orangutans.
    Last edited by Caroline; 02-19-2010 at 04:47 AM. Reason: oops, spelling error

  11. #61
    practical experience, FTW dochas's Avatar
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    "How to Date an Enamel & Chrome Table"

    Start small. First you meet for coffee....

  12. #62
    practical experience, FTW dochas's Avatar
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    "The Best Way to Seal in Cat Urine Smell on Wood Floors"

    Huh??? Most people want smells OUT of their floors, but hey, different strokes....

  13. #63
    practical experience, FTW
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    Had to share this one. Located under food:

    How to Remove Potting Material From a PC Board

  14. #64
    practical experience, FTW treehugger's Avatar
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    Currently on LiveStrong:

    How to Be Healthy Without Eating Healthy Food
    Um.

    How to Cook for Healthy Healing
    As opposed to unhealthy healing?

    Then this next one raises my feminist hackles:

    How to Gain Weight in the Right Places
    Because god forbid you have body fat anywhere other than your boobs and hips (which I'm assuming are the "right" places).
    Writer. Artist. Gardener. Crazy Cat Lady.
    http://sonyamirus.com/

  15. #65
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    How to Use Bionic Ear to Find Refrigerant Leaks

    Because the Bionic Woman has now become a refrigerator repair woman.

  16. #66
    practical experience, FTW
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    Or this one for the junior safecrackers:

    How to Open a Safe Without the Key

  17. #67
    practical experience, FTW treehugger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eric11210 View Post
    How to Use Bionic Ear to Find Refrigerant Leaks

    Because the Bionic Woman has now become a refrigerator repair woman.
    Well, ya know, the economy's down. We all have to make do.
    Writer. Artist. Gardener. Crazy Cat Lady.
    http://sonyamirus.com/

  18. #68
    Yep. I can.
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    I saw How to Get the Goat Taste Out of Goat Meat - gross.

    But I once wrote How to Dry Your Hands After Washing - $15 greatness!
    Jana DeLeon
    New York Times bestselling author
    http://janadeleon.com

  19. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by jana13k View Post
    I saw How to Get the Goat Taste Out of Goat Meat - gross.

    But I once wrote How to Dry Your Hands After Washing - $15 greatness!
    I've had similar things to that. Like these two for $15 each:

    Online Bachelors Degrees
    Accredited Bachelors Degrees Online (or something to that affect)

    I also got $15 for explaining the difference between a visa and a passport.

  20. #70
    Doing what I was born to do. Still Seaking's Avatar
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    How to make a bucket seat = $15

    SS
    Freelance Writer/Reporter/Photographer & Mommy


    Geaux Tigers!!!! LSU

    GEAUX SAINTS



    To all my dreams of past, present and future SS

  21. #71
    figuring it all out
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    Just wanted to pop in and say, "Thank you for the laughs." This thread was just what I needed to read.

  22. #72
    Doing what I was born to do. Still Seaking's Avatar
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    "How to Face My Fireplace With Stone"

    Turn towards the fireplace

    Arrange furniture so that when you will be sitting you will be facing your fireplace with stone.

    SS
    Freelance Writer/Reporter/Photographer & Mommy


    Geaux Tigers!!!! LSU

    GEAUX SAINTS



    To all my dreams of past, present and future SS

  23. #73
    a work in progress
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    This is great.

    For maximum LOLz, note what category the title is under. DS's titles show up under infamously inappropriate categories.

    I recall "How To Stop A Dog Barking" being under "Religion"; clearly some people's religious restrictions are very strict. By the time I stopped laughing, it was gone again.

    Someone in the DS Forums Title Categorization thread, where this gets complained about, noticed "How To Make A Macrame Swing" showing up filed under "Music and Audio." "Yes," he quipped, "but can your macrame do the Lindy Hop?"
    Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little (Niki)

    Author, occasionally published. Watch this space for more, or visit the amazing actually writing blog. (It actually writes!)

  24. #74
    Ooh, that stings. Angie's Avatar
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    This one's not really funny: How to Make a Sling for a Baby Wallaby -- it just caught my eye because, really, how many people in the world need to do an Internet search for this??
    Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra, who will NEVER live this down if I have anything to say about it
    At this point, cray, showering with you and qW sounds just fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cella
    cray watches kids on Netflix.

  25. #75
    Doing what I was born to do. Still Seaking's Avatar
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    How to Create your Own Trash Cans

    I claimed it, put the “trash cans” together and told how to buy a popcorn tin, eat the popcorn, clean the can and put a plastic bag in it. Very easy $15. I think I like some of these titles we make fun of. They’re funny but they’re also easy money. Can’t believe some of them but hey, as long as they keep the money coming in…

    SS
    Freelance Writer/Reporter/Photographer & Mommy


    Geaux Tigers!!!! LSU

    GEAUX SAINTS



    To all my dreams of past, present and future SS

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