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Thread: Need funny stories about marrying an Italian.

  1. #1
    Too Adorkable for Words pconsidine's Avatar
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    Need funny stories about marrying an Italian.

    I'm writing a humorous book about the specific pitfalls of marrying into an Italian family and while I have no shortage of my own anecdotes, I don't want it to be a 400-page bag-fest on my in-laws (not that I couldn't do it - believe me).

    Anyone who isn't bound by omerta and can share any stories, please e-mail me at peter AT pjcopy DOT com (it's in my profile, too, in case you don't feel like retyping).

    Thanks very much.

    - Pete -

  2. #2
    Too Adorkable for Words pconsidine's Avatar
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    I guess the omerta crack hit a little close to home for y'all.

    Anyone have any ideas for other places I can post this? There's got to be somewhere on the web where the Eye-talians hang out. I just can't find it.

    Thanks again to the people who did respond.

  3. #3
    rich
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    I think you posted because you ran out of material--good or bad--and just want us to fill in, WOPs or any other breed. You appear to be handling your venture like so many recipes in a cookbook.

    As for me, an Italian/Irish/English decenter, (hmmm), married to an Iraqi/Israeli, we do have our moments on holy days.

    What you got so far, Pete, is a start on another Chicken Soup book.

  4. #4
    Too Adorkable for Words pconsidine's Avatar
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    It's unfortunate you think that, Rich. This is not at all for lack of material. Like I said, it's a matter of seeking a more diverse base of stories. Or would you recommend I write a "general interest" book based on my own single set of exerperiences?

    Guess there's one name I can cross off the list for promo copies.

  5. #5
    rich
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    Nope, don't count me out. Give me a hundred or so tantilizing words of what you've written. I'll then decide if I should provide you with more information on the subject than the last Italian pope could--not to mention a number of Brooklyn capos.

    BTW, I truly am half Italian, a quarter English, and a quarter Irish--my wife, actually, is all Italian, which is probably more dangerous than any Iraqi/Israeli mix.

  6. #6
    practical experience, FTW Hermit's Avatar
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    I would love to read your book! I think it might be funny if it's kept at a humor level without being degrading or mean-spirited. Although, your use of the word 'pitfalls' might be considered negative.

    I've worked with Italians for my entire career and enjoy their sense of humor. In my neighborhood the Italian population doesn't mind a funny story about their own kind. In fact, most Italians in this city end up marrying other nationalities and your book might be a big hit as a wedding/shower/anniversary present. Could be a great marketing niche for you.

    Hope it all works out for you!

  7. #7
    Too Adorkable for Words pconsidine's Avatar
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    Hermit,

    You're right - "pitfalls" is a somewhat prejudicial word. It's really just going to be about the uniquely funny things that most Italian families do that they don't even realize are funny.

    I remember when I met my wife's family for the first time, it was Christmas Eve. Not only did I have to meet and remember almost 30 people, I had to eat the traditional Christmas meal of cold fish salads (squid being the favorite) - all while being on medication that acted as an appetite suppressant. And anyone can tell you what happens if you show up at an Italian house and don't stuff yourself until you're ill. My mother-in-law didn't talk to be for almost a year after that.

    That's the kind of stuff I'm going to include.

  8. #8
    rich
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    Are they from Connecticut? I have Italian relatives there--outside of New Haven. I used to go there when it was mostly farms. My Great Aunt made some big bucks selling her farmland to real estate interest. She then bought houses for most of her kin. I'm no longer in touch with them though.

    My grandmother would take me there. I watched her cut the throats of many a chicken. One year, she kept a live turkey in her apartment in South Brooklyn, leash and all, then prepared it for Thanksgiving. She had a running feud with her three sisters that lasted for 30 years. It was over some remark made at my Great Grandmother's wake--held in the house, btw. My grandmother was just a few days short of death before they all kissed and made up.

  9. #9
    Too Adorkable for Words pconsidine's Avatar
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    That's the best part, Rich. They're from the Jersey shore. I used to tell people the reason I didn't watch the Sopranos was because it would be like spending another hour a week with my in-laws.

    We were just down there yesterday for the funeral of my wife's grandfather (the last of his generation). It was really something. For one, it was the first time since my wedding that I had seen most of the people who attended. For two, my wife's generation of her family all shares a total inability to be serious in the face of difficulty. At one point, I leaned over to one of her cousins and whispered, "It looks like a scene out of Goodfellas in here." Thankfully, everyone mistook her tears of laughter for tears of sorrow. Not that everyone coming over to comfort her didn't make her laugh that much harder.

    Rest in Peace, Pop.

  10. #10
    rich
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    Curious, P, what's your pedigree?

  11. #11
    Too Adorkable for Words pconsidine's Avatar
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    Irish/Italian, a perfect 50/50 split. My father's parents were off-the-boat Irish and my mother's parents were first-generation Americans from Naples. Apparently, in some areas that's an odd mix, though in the greater New York City area, it seems to be quite common. Hmmm...

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